This chapter is rated PG-13 for violence. Also, the following stunts described on this chapter are to NOT be tried at home.
CHAPTER 4: Failure, Friends and Victory
I'm doomed. I have to give the stinking Boomerang Egg to Central. All thanks to that Gordo guy. I'm a failure.
Funnily enough, when I thought of failure, I fell down.
A normal kid, probably my age, laughed at me.
"Bugger off," I told him. I dusted myself and walked alone.
"I walk a lonely road, the only one that I have ever known...." Oh my god, I was starting to sing Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day. I sang it on the top of my voice.
"What the...." I got about 50 eyes looking at moi. I....err, better stop.
Next destination was North Eggville, but let's just call it North for the duration of the story okay? After all, if I don't find the Boomerang Egg, Gordo would probably beat me up again. I had to start looking.
On the outskirts of Central, in other words, somewhere in the middle of North and Central, I saw a boy with a slingshot, trying to shoot birds.
"Hey stop that!" I scolded. "Don't hit the birds! What have they ever done to you?"
I just remembered that when I got my slingshot from Jet, I shot a bird. Who cares, that's the past. I will never shoot another bird again.
FLING!!!!
Ooops, I said that too soon. That "stray" egg hit a bird.
"I'm trying to practice my aim," the boy said.
"Hey, I'm good at aiming. Let me show you a thing or two," I said, pulling out my slingshot.
"Dude, that slingshot's made of plastic. Here, take this wooden slingshot. Its got real rubber in it, so it won't snap as easily as that silly plastic slingshot," the boy said, handing me over another slingshot. "My name's Netto, by the way."
"Thanks, I guess," I said, testing out the wooden slingshot. The boy's got a point, this is not as breakable as my old ones! I tried to put an egg on the cup. Buuuut, this slingshot doesn't have a cup, only an old-fashioned rubber, erm, thing that's stretched out. Its shaped like a cup, but it ain't one.
FLING!!!
It hit a bird. Oh crap! This place must have a lot of them.
I gave Netto some tips on how to aim properly. Well, the author here doesn't know what sort of aiming tips he should put in, so I just said I gave him some tips.
"Thanks a thousand!" Netto exclaimed, hitting the little aiming course I set up.
"No problemo. Now, I must save the world!" I said.
Whoopsee doodle.
"You're a superhero????" Netto asked excitedly. "Can I be your super sidekick?"
Well, I guess a sidekick wouldn't hurt. Well, a sidekick would hurt if it doesn't mean "assistant".
"Okay, but you need a super name," I said. "I know, how about Sling Sidekick?"
Netto nodded. "That sounds okay."
"Then let's go kick evil butts!" I said.
"So what's our current mission, Vaughn?" Netto asked me.
"Call me Supah Sling. Currently, we're looking for the Boomerang Egg, a special artefact that we have to give to Central," I replied.
"Why do we have to give it to Central when we can just keep it for ourselves and use it to kick evil butt?" Netto asked.
"Well," I sighed. "I sorta, lost a bet."
"Oh.......so we have to find the Boomerang Egg," Netto said.
We reached North. I asked Netto to turn the GE detector on.
BRRRRRTT!!!! Giant eggs all over North went into my GE detector. Too bad there were only 3, and they're all covered in dung. Pee yew!
Northern people didn't look happy.
"So, you have the Boomerang Egg?" a lady asked.
"I haven't checked yet," I replied. "Well, bye!"
A fatso grabbed me. "Not so fast, kiddo."
"Back off, you bully!" Sling Sidekick said, preparing his slingshot.
"We shall battle, then," the fat guy said. I burst out laughing, thinking that he's suffering obesity.
"Bring it," Sling Sidekick said.
"No Netto! You're just new to the fighting scene!" I warned.
"I'll manage," Sling Sidekick said sonfidently. I mean, confidently.
"The name is Shiburaaka," the fatso said.
"The name is Ne-" Sling Sidekick started.
"Don't tell him your real name!" I burst out.
"The name is Sling Sidekick," Sling Sidekick said.
Sling Sidekick put an egg at the rubber, and FLING!
Shiburaaka just grabbed it and threw it back.
Sling Sidekick did that same, so did Shiburaaka. Is this a fight or a table tennis game?
I've had enough, they've been passing it for too long. "HAIYAAA!!!!!"
I kicked the egg, and it broke to little pieces. "Remember, both of you, this is not a table tennis match."
Shiburaaka tried to kick me. He knows Martial Arts too, eh? Well, he better be a black belt.
"KIYAAA!!!!" I tried to punch him, but his block is awesome. I tried to give him a kick in the head, but he grabbed my leg and threw me to the ground. What sort of martial artist is he? First he did a Karate block, and then he did an Aikido grab-me-legs, whatever its called.
I did a flip in the air, and landed on my feet. Oh, so he's street brawling. That's how everyone started, after all.
I jumped up the air, high enough to get on his head. I jumped, and went into Superman's position when he's flying, and then punched the fatso in the face! I call that Superman's Punch of Death.
Shiburaaka got up. Bad choice! I used his body like a wall. I ran up to his body, and tried to land on him! The result: I hit his stomach.
He tried to grab my head and smash it against his knee, but he's so new to street brawling that when he grabbed my head, I used my hands to lift him up and throw him at the ground! Of course, he doesn't know how to fall properly so you won't get hurt, so he landed with a big THUD! on the ground.
Sling Sidekick finished him off by hitting him with a giant egg. FLING!
Shiburaaka was full of blood after the battle.
"So, is the Boomerang Egg on the GE detector?" I asked Sling Sidekick.
"Nope," Sling Sidekick replied.
"Then its off to East!" I exclaimed.
Failure, Friends and Victory. 3 major things that happened to me today. I failed to beat Gordo, the Central street brawler. I made a new friend, Netto, and gained a sidekick. I was victorious in the fight with Shiburaaka. 3 things.
TO BE CONTINUED