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Wolfenstein: The New Order

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Old June 26th, 2014 (9:03 PM).
O'aka XXIII's Avatar
O'aka XXIII O'aka XXIII is offline
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Indiana
Nature: Naughty
Posts: 10,969
This is for the reviewing competition, it's not the best but oh well.

Wolfenstein: The New Order. I actually hadn't planned on getting this game. I hadn't played the original and had actually forgot that this game was out. I got the game on a whim. I was at Target and they had a special going where if you bought the game you got a free $10 gift card. I had only really planned to buy a xbox live membership card but since I had a gift card from Christmas and I would be getting a $10 gift card from buying it I decided to get it because why not.

And let me tell you, I am really pretty happy with my purchase. I beat the game the first day that I played it...on the medium difficulty which proved to be a challenge enough for a blind run. Nazi's, mechs, dogs, and big ass motha huggin guns.

The game begins with literally the longest prologue I have ever played. It actually made it painful for me to play it again when I came back on a second playthrough at the Uber difficulty (the max level). I know on the Xbox it comes in 4 discs, the first disc is used solely for installing the game. It has literally no other use whatsoever. So after an hour and fifteen minutes I finally had all of the mandatory downloads installed. It was time to begin the awesome.

The graphics are about the same quality as Dead Space 3, the voice acting is pretty great, and the whole killing Nazis thing is pretty flippin neat. You can kill in so many ways, stab some guy in the throat and then slit his dogs throat. Or if you prefer the run and gun and hope you don't get hit with the two shots it takes on Uber to kill you, then you have a rather large arsenal to choose from full of upgrades.

Surprise sex scene while you're grandma is sitting next to you watching you play so she can see where gaming has come because she only has a ps1 and a snes is not good. And it happens a few times. So don't play this around young children, or family, unless you don't care about scarring them.

It has a pretty good 9/10 soundtrack which made the hour and fifteen minutes it took to install the game bearable. And throughout the game you can find German versions of Beatles songs, which is pretty neat. And then it provides a throwback to the original Wolfenstein which was really nice even though I almost died a couple of times in it.

All in all the game is pretty nice. As a standalone game, it might be worth the 59.99 that it costs for the new game if you like blood, gore, lots of violence, very much vulgarity, and sex. But with the Doom demo that it comes with it's definitely worth the full price. But if you don't want to pay the full new game price, then you're not missing out on much of anything special and you can probably wait until the price drop.

All in all the game is pretty good.
Graphics: 7/10
Soundtrack: 9/10
Gameplay: 9.5/10
Storyline: 9/10

Overall I give the game an 8.5/10. The storyline is pretty straightforward with little to no variances except for the alternate timelines that you create in the prologue. But even after that it's still basically all the same stuff just with a different character or two or three. The game has a few glitches such as randomly falling through the map for no reason, but it's not that big of a deal since, at least the places that I fell at, I didn't die from the fall. The game will keep your attention so long as you can manage to get out of the prologue. The game's pretty decent. I'm not much of a shoot-em-up game type guy, but this is definitely on my top 10 games that I own right now. The only thing that really could have made this better is having a multiplayer option. So we could take out our anger and blow up our friends into little gory bits and pieces.

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