Teenagers and society

Started by Alfieri August 28th, 2014 11:19 AM
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  • 19 replies

Alfieri

aka Ronnie

Age 27
Male
New York City
Seen June 23rd, 2019
Posted June 23rd, 2019
2,850 posts
9.2 Years
What's your take on high school teenagers from like 14-16 years of age specifically who always talk about how they hate society and choose to become anti-socials? Closing their doors of life to prevent other people from trying to be friends with them because they felt like they've been hurt too much in the past.

I can understand they feel disappointed but they're so young. Why live in solitude for the remaining 60-70 years of your life because of a bad situation in high school?

They have so many years to open their doors, meet new people. Stop waiting for people to try and fight for your attention. Give them your attention and maybe life will be a little less stressful and you might not have to blame society for everything. That's just my stance though.

Shiny Bunnelby

Tolerated, but never celebrated.

Age 31
Female
Oklahoma, United States
Seen November 1st, 2015
Posted April 20th, 2015
362 posts
8.9 Years
I used to be that teenager, until I met people who actually listened. They didn't have to agree with me. I just wanted to be heard. Adolescence is confusing and frustrating and it is so easy to forget once we've grown up. I notice that a lot of teens act like that, because they want to be taken seriously. Their opinions have just as much value as those of adults. While they have room to grow, it cannot be done if they are being devalued simply because of lacking experience. It's irritating, but it's part of growing up. They are getting close to adulthood, but still get treated like children a lot of the time. If you ever notice, most teens who act this way are especially sheltered or emotionally neglected by their parents. The parents don't mean to be that way, but they don't realize that dismissing their feelings as just "teenage angst" is only reinforcing the very mindset that they aren't understood, therefore society won't understand either. It's quite the pickle. My fiancé's sister is going through this and I am the only person she opens up to because I value her opinions and let her air out her grievances as much as she needs.

If it isn't that, then there could be a deeper problem psychologically that should be considered.
"I call dis 'Flight of the Bunnelby'."
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Alfieri

aka Ronnie

Age 27
Male
New York City
Seen June 23rd, 2019
Posted June 23rd, 2019
2,850 posts
9.2 Years
While they have room to grow, it cannot be done if they are being devalued simply because of lacking experience.
That has been my gripe since I was 16. I noticed that my opinions and problems did not matter simply because I have yet to experience "real life" yet. While I do understand that relationship and school problems aren't as big of a deal as paying bills or finding a job, it still is a pretty big deal for someone who is young and still getting used to life.

I definitely agree that if we give more attention and hear out the opinions of younger teenagers, maybe they'll feel a lot less hatred towards other people. When I started college, a lot of people looked down on me because I was only 17 and they were all 21-25 years old. I'm over it now because there are people in my life that care. :3

maccrash

foggy notion

Age 24
Male
Massachusetts
Seen October 7th, 2021
Posted April 17th, 2017
3,583 posts
9.2 Years
Lighten Up, Guys @ antisocial teens who reject everything. like I'm angsty but I don't make it seem like it's my way or the highway, nor do I try to legitimize my emotions to such an extent that people start rolling their eyes and being like "Lol fookin teen xD" at me. you need to be self-aware.

like, my emotions are real but that doesn't mean they're any less whiny. y'know.
you're the poet in my heart

Bounsweet

Fruit Pokémon

Seen September 17th, 2018
Posted October 11th, 2017
2,102 posts
15.6 Years
I was that teenager, too. I had a lot of problems in the public school I was attending and I actually left to homeschool myself as soon as I turned 16. It was probably one of the best decisions I made in my life, actually. I was too engulfed in my social anxiety to do any schoolwork (going by GPA, I was in the bottom 20 of my entire graduating class) and let's be real, a lot of the drama and people you meet in high school don't last through college.

But, I attended a standard drive-to-campus, sit-in-lecture college and I did fine, because I had my social anxiety a little more in check. It was just more severe in high school because of it being the peak time of adolescence and all of that.

Plus there's the notion that Shiny Bunnelby and Poki already addressed that people just don't give a damn at all what kids think or have to say, so that didn't help my situation.

El Héroe Oscuro

IG: elheroeoscuro

Male
Chicago
Seen April 10th, 2022
Posted August 21st, 2021
7,237 posts
14.3 Years
That's not just teenagers who act like that - adults are just as prone to that point of view; the difference is just that kids are more ignored because of their "undeveloped mindset," which is a result of a carried negative stigma and influence by our society.
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Shiny Bunnelby

Tolerated, but never celebrated.

Age 31
Female
Oklahoma, United States
Seen November 1st, 2015
Posted April 20th, 2015
362 posts
8.9 Years
That has been my gripe since I was 16. I noticed that my opinions and problems did not matter simply because I have yet to experience "real life" yet. While I do understand that relationship and school problems aren't as big of a deal as paying bills or finding a job, it still is a pretty big deal for someone who is young and still getting used to life.

I definitely agree that if we give more attention and hear out the opinions of younger teenagers, maybe they'll feel a lot less hatred towards other people. When I started college, a lot of people looked down on me because I was only 17 and they were all 21-25 years old. I'm over it now because there are people in my life that care. :3
The best thing is to always remember that while a teenager's problems may seem petty, those problems could be literally the worst thing that they have ever been confronted with in their lifetime. It gets easier when more challenges come up and make the rest seem so small and insignificant. It is the richest nourishment to maturity.
"I call dis 'Flight of the Bunnelby'."
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Alfieri

aka Ronnie

Age 27
Male
New York City
Seen June 23rd, 2019
Posted June 23rd, 2019
2,850 posts
9.2 Years
Actually i'm that kind of teenager, Why??. Easy, Because nobody takes me serious. I don't like to be an anti-social person but if this is the only way i will keep going with my attitude. I'm 15
Well hey, that's why you have PC! We're always reading everyone's opinion and take them seriously. Yay equality lol.
Age 36
Female
Australia
Seen May 21st, 2016
Posted May 18th, 2016
458 posts
9 Years
I think it depends on what is causing the behaviour. If it is the result of interactions with their peers then it may be just a phase. The real world is nothing like high school. However, if it is the result of interactions with their parents or other adults then it may become a longer term issue.

Sonata

Don't let me disappear

Age 27
Male
Indiana
Seen 9 Hours Ago
Posted March 25th, 2023
13,619 posts
10.2 Years
Well I feel this way as well, I am disappointed in society. And it is justified because it truly isn't just limited to the ignorance of teenagers, but encompasses all ages of people in society. There is so much that just makes me wish we could have a nuclear war so I don't have to deal with it anymore and nobody else has to deal with it either, create a clean sweep of the planet keeping only the children too young to have understanding of the world and things they see and a few adults who have not fallen.

Yay cults.

Morgnarok

PokéCommunity Supporter - Platinum Tier

Age 28
Male
PokeVerse
Seen November 26th, 2022
Posted November 26th, 2022
2,218 posts
12.9 Years
I honestly was this teenager and still this way to this day. My reasons are different though and I prefer to be alone and away from the real world. I enjoy my solitude. Kind of how a prisoner who is doing life enjoys it. I have learned to accept this is who I am and what I like.

Oryx

CoquettishCat

Age 30
Female
Seen January 30th, 2015
Posted December 27th, 2014
13,184 posts
12.2 Years
I think for the most part it's a phase that a fair amount of teenagers face considering it's a known thing. Idk I went through it, it's over, and here I am. I wish I could spread my wisdom to all, but I feel like you eventually find your own way and learn a lot by the end of it.
That's basically how I feel about it. That phase isn't some special thing that some teens go through because they're special; it's a thing every kid goes through and nearly everyone grows out of it so I don't see it as something where we need to coddle them through it with special teenager listening skills.

Plus I think the argument most people have here is inherently contradictory - people say to take their opinions seriously and like the opinions of adults, but in the context of adults, the opinion of "I hate the world because high school is boring" is a really dumb opinion. Either you take their problems seriously or you coddle them and don't let them know what you actually think because they're just teens and they're too young to handle it. I prefer the former; I assume teens, at least most of the ones I talk to, can understand things just as much as adults. I mean I know plenty of teens that recognize the scale of their problems relative to the rest of the world, so it's not like teens inherently can't know these things, they just choose not to. Of course, this ends in clashes where I try to explain something about the real world, or even just world beyond high school, and the teen who chooses not to put any perspective on her life disagrees just to disagree because they don't have any experience to argue with. Then I'm reminded that these are teens, not adults. :(


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Corvus of the Black Night

Wild Duck Pokémon

Age 30
Non-binary
With the Birds
Seen January 9th, 2015
Posted January 9th, 2015
3,416 posts
14.3 Years
I think that they need to expose themselves a bit more. When you're that age, in most cases, you aren't aware of everything that happens. But kids, please feel free to lecture me more about how having a job, career, living on your own and the like is. You sure know what you're talking about...

It's pretty grating when people talk about things that they clearly don't know anything about. If they have some background, it would be pretty clear, but most times when kids are whining about this sort of stuff, they're talking about things from an armchair perspective.

Shiny Bunnelby

Tolerated, but never celebrated.

Age 31
Female
Oklahoma, United States
Seen November 1st, 2015
Posted April 20th, 2015
362 posts
8.9 Years
That's basically how I feel about it. That phase isn't some special thing that some teens go through because they're special; it's a thing every kid goes through and nearly everyone grows out of it so I don't see it as something where we need to coddle them through it with special teenager listening skills.

Plus I think the argument most people have here is inherently contradictory - people say to take their opinions seriously and like the opinions of adults, but in the context of adults, the opinion of "I hate the world because high school is boring" is a really dumb opinion. Either you take their problems seriously or you coddle them and don't let them know what you actually think because they're just teens and they're too young to handle it. I prefer the former; I assume teens, at least most of the ones I talk to, can understand things just as much as adults. I mean I know plenty of teens that recognize the scale of their problems relative to the rest of the world, so it's not like teens inherently can't know these things, they just choose not to. Of course, this ends in clashes where I try to explain something about the real world, or even just world beyond high school, and the teen who chooses not to put any perspective on her life disagrees just to disagree because they don't have any experience to argue with. Then I'm reminded that these are teens, not adults. :(
The thing that causes teens to act out is because they don't want advice or to be told how they should feel about something. I agree that some of the opinions that are presented can seem ridiculous, but it doesn't make them any less valid. There could be more to it, and people won't know what it is if they spend more time trying to tell them that they have no reason to feel that way rather than just listening. That's all I pointed out. Opinions are neither right, nor wrong.

I never once stated that they needed to be coddled or treated as if they're special. I said that they need to be heard. Nothing more. Nothing less. Unless they ask "How" or "Why", then giving advice will be a big waste of time for the both of you. All they want is acknowledgement. They can figure out how to solve problems on their own, and they should. But it helps to listen so they don't feel alone, even if you disagree with them. Of course we all go through this phase, but the difficulty of it varies, depending on how supportive the parents are. Nobody needs their hands held or anything. It isn't warfare. They just want to feel secure in coming forward with their problems. Listening creates better listeners. :)
"I call dis 'Flight of the Bunnelby'."
4699-7220-5840
Male
Varies
Seen October 3rd, 2014
Posted October 2nd, 2014
41 posts
9.2 Years
From what I am seeing it seems as if society is setting them up to fail.
This statement is more true than most people realise, whether talking about teenagers or any other age group. But anyway...

Teenage years are particularly awkward, since those are the years where life begins to change the most and people have to learn to move from being coddled to being responsible. Some teens get an attitude from thinking they've already crossed that barrier when they've barely started, and those ones annoy me. But others actually do mature and deserve patience. It's yet another situation where some idiots ruin things for everyone.

Though the people who really annoy me are the "grown-ups" who've failed to do just that.