the spirt inside me

Started by Asura Nirosuki March 20th, 2005 10:16 AM
  • 637 views
  • 4 replies
Seen November 12th, 2014
Posted August 25th, 2008
4,322 posts
18.4 Years
Name is Zackery hotten spirted in Zylo great wolf we are in a trapped dome.In this world a place i rome.There was never a place called home.

Just look deeper right inside of me.Just call me out and let us free! this spirt inside of me.

The wolf Zylo is so strong.Make your heart belive.And our unbreakable bound.It's eyes are hard to see.

This lonely spirt inside of me.......
is this better? or worse?

~Keep your Smile~

Kyosuke

.·Simple Complexity

Age 34
Pickering, On
Seen August 8th, 2018
Posted May 17th, 2014
2,485 posts
19.7 Years
Its hard to tell whether this is a poem, or a fan-fic, it sounds more like a poem but I'll let it stay put for the time being.

I like the story, but the way you have it makes it very unclear and unorganized with puncuation errors like capital letters and spacing after commas, just small things like that.

But not bad, just use the story you have in there and expand on it, adding details and add to the overall length ^^.
"Life isn't perfect, but sometimes you have to make the best of it."

After 7 years, Xbox Live is Still Amazing

·!¦[·Latest pieces of Writing·]¦!·