Spring Has Come Quite Quickly

Started by oni flygon March 20th, 2005 11:50 AM
  • 872 views
  • 9 replies
Bittertown
Seen September 2nd, 2009
Posted December 28th, 2008
7,901 posts
19.7 Years
Spring begins today... so I wrote a poem! =D
Enjoy! ^__^

Spring Has Come Quite Quickly

Spring has come quite quickly
The birds chirp cheerfully,
Hoping from branch to branch,
While I sit below the tree

Spring has come quite quickly
I watch the snow melt from the branches.
Then I saw pink blossoms take their place,
Whereas they fall down softly and slowly

I sit here while I watch Mother Earth
Wear her green gown filled with blossoms.
Her fragrant perfume wafts around me;
I feel her arms cradling me to sleep.

Under the blooming cherry tree,
Ive yet to see her innocent smile.
I continue to wait for that girl;
Ever patient, for spring has come.

Pocket Monsters Special!

Kyosuke

.·Simple Complexity

Age 34
Pickering, On
Seen August 8th, 2018
Posted May 17th, 2014
2,485 posts
19.7 Years
Nice "feel-good" poem for the first day of spring, while still seemly having a story behind it. And it seems that now spring, has come you are just waiting for that special someone to come around ^^.
"Life isn't perfect, but sometimes you have to make the best of it."

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digi-kun

Hourai NEET

Age 33
Male
Seen March 12th, 2018
Posted July 12th, 2016
4,638 posts
19.3 Years
not too bad...has a relaxing feeling to it...although the rythm's off...
i would probably rephrase last verse, line 3...kinda seems to conflict with the 2nd line...dunno...im thinking its the word continue...dunno, just my opinion...
MegaDitto, if you would please look at the Poetry Rules, you would see the rulke about no short reviews. So please, stop giving reviews like "It was good" or "I liked it" Please put some thought into it, instead of doing it just to boost your post count. Now I'm not saying thats what you're doing, just what it looks like.

I know little about Poetry, but since I'm here, I might as well try and review it, XD

Well, it gives a good description of spring for one thing, and you did a good job? XD

Told ya I wasn't made for this, XD Oh well, i tried >>

Miyu-chan

.::f l o w e r g i r l::.

Age 34
Seen April 23rd, 2014
Posted January 17th, 2010
5,956 posts
19.7 Years
Hoping from branch to branch,
While I sit below the tree
Is that supposed to be 'Hopping'? xD;;;

Anyways, really nice images, I really, really liked the feminine image you gave to Spring. =3

The poem has a wistful tone 'bout it, very nice. =D The last sentence was wonderful. n__n


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Bittertown
Seen September 2nd, 2009
Posted December 28th, 2008
7,901 posts
19.7 Years
not here in minnesota! The
snow hasn't even stopped
falling.
This is all metaphorical... you don't have to take it seriously

I live in California and it doesn't snow... I just wrote it to celebrate spring... you don't have to take it seriously...

Anyways, thank you the comments! ^__^

Pocket Monsters Special!

Natsuki

.bluefang.

Age 33
Female
Minnesota
Seen July 16th, 2015
Posted March 22nd, 2012
5,046 posts
18.2 Years
Spring begins today... so I wrote a poem! =D
Enjoy! ^__^

Spring Has Come Quite Quickly

Spring has come quite quickly
The birds chirp cheerfully,
Hoping (hopping) from branch to branch,
While I sit below the tree

Spring has come quite quickly
I watch the snow melt from the branches.
Then I saw pink blossoms take their place,
Whereas they fall down softly and slowly

I sit here while I watch Mother Earth
Wear her green gown filled with blossoms.
Her fragrant perfume wafts around me;
I feel her arms cradling me to sleep.

Under the blooming cherry tree,
Ive yet to see her innocent smile.
I continue to wait for that girl;
Ever patient, for spring has come.
Awwwwwwwwwwws, this is such a cute poem! I love springtime and this poem really makes me feel all happy and fuzzy inside. <3~~~

This poem gives the reader a great vision of spring. You can imagine an ongoing meadow filled with trees and flowers and fluffy little animals that seem to all coexist with each other. <3

I liked how you used personification to give Mother Earth the qualities of a human, very neat indeed. ^_______^

The only error was the word "hopping" which has two "p"'s, not one. ^^ Sweet job on this one Niko! ^^ *stamps "Kelsey Seal of Approval" on Niko's poem* =3

~Kelsey