lost in the dark

Started by digi-kun March 21st, 2005 1:03 PM
  • 603 views
  • 5 replies

digi-kun

Hourai NEET

Age 33
Male
Seen March 12th, 2018
Posted July 12th, 2016
4,638 posts
19.3 Years
I told Onigiri that I'd write a poem, so here it is...

Lost in the Dark

The creeping darkness
of silent night
bringing the horrors of endless frights

Sitting alone
longing for a sign of hope
from the light of a door

For through that door
lies hopes and dreams
a perfect world
of things unseen

free your mind
and see the light
and embrace the joy
of an endless flight

then fade away
from the endless dream
no matter how real
the illusion may seem

the truth is out there
you just have to find
the answer of answers
in the abyss of your mind

Natsuki

.bluefang.

Age 33
Female
Minnesota
Seen July 16th, 2015
Posted March 22nd, 2012
5,046 posts
18.2 Years
Ooooh, this is a really neat poem, digi. ^_______^ This poem shows the concept of being lost and alone. Sometimes you may be surrounded by loved ones, yet feel as though you're in a darkened room by yourself. Sometimes, people can be consumed by darkness and fall into a realm of peril and sadness...

I have a few suggestions for you to have to improve this poem. ^^ You should really capitalize the first letter of the first word in each line, that's just proper poetry ettequite. ^^

Also, you need (Yeah I know, I'm picky. XD) to have a comma or period or something after every line of poetry. This not only makes your poem look nicer, but the flow is much easier to follow too. ^______^

Great work though, digi. ^^ I hope you write some more poems soon. =D

~Kelsey
Age 32
Illinois..pfft. Boring.
Seen August 9th, 2006
Posted August 8th, 2006
66 posts
18.2 Years
Wow....that's REALLY good, digi. It's so sad and haunting and...well, my type of poem! ^-^ Keep up the awesome work!
Eheheh..yeah. Some of you might know me as Dark Absol on SPP. ^-^;;

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Miyu-chan

.::f l o w e r g i r l::.

Age 34
Seen April 23rd, 2014
Posted January 17th, 2010
5,956 posts
19.7 Years
I <3 the rhythem in this poem, 'cept for the second paragraph... <<; It sounds out-of place.

I like the theme of this whole poem also, don't we all have an illusion?

The poem reminds me of myself also... o.o;

I <3 your poem, I hope that I'll see more from you, Digi. n____n


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