~Ozy~

PC's Unofficial Poetry Critic

Age 34
White Sword Tower
Seen June 12th, 2012
Posted December 1st, 2006
5,246 posts
19 Years
In keeping with tradition, this has no title aside from the number. It's my first attempt at a sonnet, I'm not quite pleased with it, I think it could use some refinement, but tell me what you think. Criticism appreciated here, as long as you give me a why as well.

She walks in beauty, like the stars above, she
Haunts my dreams and wraps my heart around
Her finger with ease. Her breath, angelic sound
Wings that will lift me away to where we
Can lie together. Eternity with her
Not so unpleasent a thing for me to
Find. The two of us, each other we woo.
My heart is hers, hers mine. My life is hers.
Her smile lifts my heart, her tears rip me up.
Her embrace, the sun, her kiss is the moon.
Love, food of life, with her I will now sup.
Her soul, and now mine, together we croon
Our song to the world. My sails now, no luff
Do they find, now we sing soft wordless tune.
Eternally devoted and wed to my darling pet, Nagoyaka Aikouka.


"Your Grace, all that you say is true. On the Trident, Rhaegar fought valiantly, Rhaegar fought honorably, Rhaegar fought nobly, and Rhaegar died.