How would you get away with murder?

Started by Nick June 27th, 2015 1:12 PM
  • 1723 views
  • 34 replies

Cherrim

Age 34
she / her
Toronto
Seen 21 Hours Ago
Posted 21 Hours Ago
33,052 posts
20.4 Years
God, I wouldn't even try. I think even if I accidentally killed someone, I'd just turn myself in right away. I can't lie for muk.


paired with professor plum.
Seen January 1st, 2023
Posted March 23rd, 2022
3,316 posts
9.2 Years
My mom's obsession with real life crime shows has taught me never clean the blood spill with bleach, you're best off murdering with gloves and probably a hair net... I'd even go as far as shaving all your body hair right before the crime, burn everything you were wearing during the crime, NEVER TELL A FRIEND OR TRUSTED FAMILY MEMBER, parking lots and some intersections have cameras, if you're going to throw the body in water you gotta make sure it's weighed down good, destroy the murder weapon, guns are too easy to trace back, don't buy your murdering supplies so close to the time of the murder and don't buy everything at once, if you murder on a rainy night dogs will be less likely to be able to follow the scent/but you risk leaving tracks so don't wear shoes that are your regular size, don't bite the victim because they can look up dental records, don't drive your car to where you're committing the murder because tire tracks, don't put the body in your car, murdering someone you know is more risky than murdering a stranger

somehow i would follow these guidelines
Male
The Great U.S. of A.
Seen September 22nd, 2016
Posted September 29th, 2015
206 posts
7.9 Years
My mom's obsession with real life crime shows has taught me never clean the blood spill with bleach, you're best off murdering with gloves and probably a hair net... I'd even go as far as shaving all your body hair right before the crime, burn everything you were wearing during the crime, NEVER TELL A FRIEND OR TRUSTED FAMILY MEMBER, parking lots and some intersections have cameras, if you're going to throw the body in water you gotta make sure it's weighed down good, destroy the murder weapon, guns are too easy to trace back, don't buy your murdering supplies so close to the time of the murder and don't buy everything at once, if you murder on a rainy night dogs will be less likely to be able to follow the scent/but you risk leaving tracks so don't wear shoes that are your regular size, don't bite the victim because they can look up dental records, don't drive your car to where you're committing the murder because tire tracks, don't put the body in your car, murdering someone you know is more risky than murdering a stranger

somehow i would follow these guidelines
Just gonna quote this whole thing. I appreciate the honesty in this. I thought about ranking the list by how important I thought each item was, but got halfway through before I realized how dumb it was. So, this bit is just here to appreciate your post.

Moving on.

I would poison the person. It's not hard to get a hold of substances that are lethal to humans, and just about everybody has "something" that they love - be it coffee, tea, cookies, pizza, et cetera. If I were seriously considering murder, I wouldn't be concerned with anyone who got hurt in the process (for example, more people than just the intended eating/drinking/otherwise consuming the poison). I haven't ever seriously considered murder, but poison seems like the easiest, risk-free way to off a person. You don't have to be in contact with the person, or even remotely close. You just have to have solid planning and patience.

Bobbylicious

Banned

Age 27
Male
Australia
Seen December 16th, 2022
Posted July 20th, 2018
921 posts
11.2 Years
i planned this out like 3 years ago so feel free to use coz no copyright!!

basically what u do is u start a youtube cooking channel and u make cooking videos for like 2 years and then one day u make a cake and start filming and then when u begin filming ur like 'fml forgot eggs' or w/e so then u go to grocery store to get w/e u need but secretly ur also breaking into ur own house at the same time to poison the cake which has been half made and then u get back and u make the rest of the cake and give it to whoever u wanna kill and then they eat it and die, and then u also take a few bites so u get sick but not enough to kill u so it doenst look suspicious!! and then when they die u start to edit ur video where u show the footage of some1 breaking in poisoning the cake to the popo and then they will look for someone and not suspect u coz ur alibi is that u were at the grocery store/in traffic

maccrash

foggy notion

Age 24
Male
Massachusetts
Seen October 7th, 2021
Posted April 17th, 2017
3,583 posts
9.2 Years
okay this is weird, last night I had a dream that I killed two people and then was immediately wracked with guilt and thought that I was gonna get caught so I got in my car and drove away but the cops were chasing me. but in the dream I kept thinking about the families who I just ruined because of the victims' deaths. it was some real Macbeth type muk. I don't know what made me dream of this. I am not a troubled person. so I guess my answer to the question is I wouldn't get away with murder.
you're the poet in my heart

Sonata

Don't let me disappear

Age 27
Male
Indiana
Seen 9 Hours Ago
Posted March 25th, 2023
13,619 posts
10.2 Years
Do what any good politician does and go out on a hunting trip. People are always "accidentally" getting shot on hunting trips. They'll never suspect a thing.

gimmepie

Age 27
Male
Australia
Seen 12 Hours Ago
Posted 15 Hours Ago
24,970 posts
11.1 Years
Stab them with a sharpened icicle. The ice dissolves in the wound taking all the evidence with it.
RPWLA&MVGGaming Journal

Her

Age 29
Seen 6 Hours Ago
Posted 4 Days Ago
Assuming this is a premeditated murder and not a killing that just happened to happen, here are my thoughts.

One layer of cash-bought clothing from a second-hand store at least a month or two before the murder. An alternative option is stolen clothing from anywhere, but the key is that it has been worn relatively recently and is hard to trace. This first layer's main purpose will be to a) catch any DNA, shedding or stray hairs and b) be a 'getaway' outfit during the time period between the murder, my abandonment of my outer layer and my change of clothes.
This should include, but is not limited to, a transparent hair net (or shower cap, depending on type of murder); any kind of long pants excluding jeans; an indistinct long-sleeved shirt; gloves and long socks. Shoes will be flat and have no ridges or anywhere for dirt or other substances to lodge in and leave traces on floor. I will also include one random item of clothing that can serve as an identifier for pedestrians or whatever if I am noticed - something to draw attention to me without drawing attention to me. If they can focus on that and retain as little of my physical appearance as possible, then job well done.
My second layer of clothing will cover almost as much of my body as possible, mainly my head and any exposed areas where my first layer does not cover. Ideally this would be something baggy, something which doesn't look like it's covering up a whole set of clothes underneath. Easy to move around in. Something which provides a plausible excuse to cover my face/head and wear a full body outfit, like a plumber, an electrician or pest control. It's not that hard to replicate a corporate outfit instead of obtaining one - people rarely pay attention to what the labourer is wearing. Just obtain relevant, generic clothing and then customise it just enough so that it doesn't look generic but it's not a stand out outfit.
After the murder, outer layer of clothing is disposed of by driver and I burn or otherwise abandon or destroy the inner layer. If my house has a fireplace, get rid of the socks, hairnet and possibly gloves in there. This is assuming we're in winter. Everything else is shredded and either abandoned the day after or slowly but surely burned in the fire. Once I am done burning the clothes, continue to burn the fire.

Transport to and from the murder would not be my own vehicle or a vehicle I have any previous connection with - that would stay firmly put either in my house or somewhere else where it can be accounted for. Too many variables to consider with that. Ideally, a stolen, indistinct vehicle that is driven by somebody else or provided by that person. Obviously fake licenses all round. Unlike the clothing, this vehicle shouldn't be related to the company you're pretending to be. Make it look like a personal call for a low social class labourer, not an identifiable vehicle.
Person drops me off, once I am out of the car I make a comment to the partner that goes something like 'Hey, go get some (work related item), we might be a bit short. I'll get started on (work related activity).' That gives a plausible reason for the driver to not just be hanging around and looking suspicious for anyone that's hanging around. Go in, do whatever needs to happen for the driver to plausibly kill time. Driver comes back, I go get item from driver. Kill person and then leave. Vehicle is then driven to a) a crime-ridden area where car is likely to be 'taken out of my hands' once abandoned or b) far out area where it can be abandoned. Doors and windows left open so nature can work as quickly as possible and mess up anything we didn't clean up. Second vehicle in either scenario is in place and we move to that one, this vehicle adhering to the same criteria as the first one. Driver drops me off either at place that I have a plausible reason to be at or I am dropped off at area close to my residence. Driver then goes off and disposes the vehicle as he wishes or keeps it and cleans any trace I was there, along with taking my second layer of clothing with it and destroying it. I take care of one layer of clothing, he takes care of the rest. Dispersing all items used in the murder is key here so that the evidence is split up between us.

The murder weapon itself would most likely be a bendable wire of some kind, as strangulation is the modus operandi here. It silences the victim, is silent itself and is basically the perfect weapon as it causes death from the inside of the body rather than being messy. Generic, easily abandoned and only a minuscule amount of variables to work out. Guns have too many variables and are far too hard to work with. You're basically shooting yourself in the foot if you use a gun for a premeditated, up close and personal murder. Guns are only efficient for long-range murders if you plan to actually get away with the killing. Poison automatically stereotypes me as a female so I will avoid that. Plus, the wire works with the theme of leaving as little DNA as possible. Once I have murdered the victim, I leave the body as is except cleaning the area around the strangulation. If I have time, vacuum area. If not/it's too risky, leave area and begin getaway. It's too risky to move the body so I will have to leave it there, as moving it in a car is a big no-no. Impossible to fully clean the car of traces of the body plus there may be a scent to work with if police get involved quicker than thought.

After the murder, hot shower and full body cleanse/scrub. Wash hair, possibly get haircut. Change into new clothes. Change movie on laptop. I'll have had a laptop watching Netflix during the time I was gone, in order to make it look like via internet records that I was at my house. This is on top of all the other alibi planning I'll have done before the murder, but can't really go into here because it's too varied to detail for a specific murder. Just assume that I have thought out what I hope to be a clean alibi. Not airtight as it's suspicious, but clean and secure enough to leave me out of any true suspicion. Cease all contact with driver for at least a week after the murder, only meeting in person if we need to later on. Calling them, emailing them or otherwise connecting with them in any non-physical way is too easy to trace.

By the way, yes, I am the Zodiac killer.
Male
America
Seen August 5th, 2019
Posted August 5th, 2019
928 posts
8.7 Years
That's Argentina for you. It's really psyducked up here, I been assaulted for my cellphone a lot of times. We actually live with crime here. If the power is crook, everything below it is crook. We been dealing with it for pretty long time, like from 6 years ago. It's a really long story. The news here are pretty much about politics and killed people...
That sounds like a swell place to live. Do you ever bring like a gun or a taser with you outside, so you aren't killed?


"Memories warm you up from
the inside."

Her

Age 29
Seen 6 Hours Ago
Posted 4 Days Ago
so far only mallory and I are the only ones not entering sing sing maximum security prison for life