Taboos

Started by pokewalker September 8th, 2015 12:13 PM
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  • 37 replies

pokewalker

If it ain't Dutch,it ain'tmuch

Age 25
Male
Netherlands
Seen September 20th, 2015
Posted September 13th, 2015
667 posts
13 Years
Taboos.
They dictate what we are supposed to do and not do.
Yet, what one culture defines as inappropriate might be radically different as opposed to another.
So what is considered not done in your country region?
For example, I'm Dutch and the Netherlands is known as a very tolerant country. This is especially true when compared to more conservative societies, like the US. Things that are considered controversial in the US are seen as completely normal here; for example, the use of the word 'jirachi' (neger) in Dutch. It's the most normal thing here, yet I'm pretty sure the word will get censored here. In fact, a prominent Dutch newspaper recently used the word, and was heavily criticised for it by the New York Times.
Let me know of your country's taboos down below!
EDIT: Yeah so it did get censored. For clarifactions, I meant the n-word.

Crystal Berry

Crystal Mistress

Female
United States
Seen January 7th, 2020
Posted December 19th, 2019
720 posts
7.7 Years
You are absolutely right. The U.S is a very progressive country, so using offensive language is very taboo. It's still very common for people to use offensive language here, but they have to make sure people aren't around to persecute them for it. You can get fired for saying certain words, like THAT word. Another thing that is really taboo here is illegal drugs, including marijuana for some reason.

Kanzler

naughty biscotti

Male
Toronto
Seen April 22nd, 2022
Posted March 11th, 2022
5,957 posts
14.8 Years
Drugs aren't taboo, they're just underground because of law enforcement. And even then, they're not so hush-hush. Taboos aren't just inappropriate, they're also considered to be forbidden. The N-word is interesting, because it became taboo over time and now there's this weird mysticism about it, such that we use refer to it as the N-word and shudder physically or mentally whenever it is mentioned. It's that shuddering sensation when something taboo is mentioned that makes it taboo.

Evening

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Posted February 5th, 2016
808 posts
9.4 Years
Well, a taboo is something I really hate. Where's the freedom?

Pinkie-Dawn

Vampire Waifu

Age 30
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Seen February 16th, 2021
Posted May 16th, 2019
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10.5 Years
It is considered taboo to have a relationship with anyone under 18, at least in California and a few other states (the rest have either 16 or 17 as the age of consent), but us U.S. citizen want to treat 18 as THE age of consent of our country, so we will feel disgusted and dehumanize any country whose age of consent is below 18, such as Japan (for its infamy of sexualizing underage characters), until we're able to convert their culture into ours.

Well, a taboo is something I really hate. Where's the freedom?
So you want the dangerously taboo subjects such as the one I've mentioned to be allowed?

Evening

Non-binary
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Seen December 1st, 2021
Posted February 5th, 2016
808 posts
9.4 Years
So you want the dangerously taboo subjects such as the one I've mentioned to be allowed?
I just really have mixed thoughts about it.

CoffeeDrink

GET WHILE THE GETTIN'S GOOD

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Posted December 4th, 2016
1,250 posts
9.7 Years
Everything. For a time, interracial relationships. Sex (all kinds, underage and incest being chief amongst these). Drugs. Music (First swing, then Rock 'n Roll, then Disco, then Hip-Hop/Rap). Nudity. Violence (violence against kids, even in films). Language. Fashion (what you wear outside and how you wear it). There are so many I'm sure we all couldn't come up with all of them. Only we get to use that word, by the way. Honky. (funny joke is funny)

pokewalker

If it ain't Dutch,it ain'tmuch

Age 25
Male
Netherlands
Seen September 20th, 2015
Posted September 13th, 2015
667 posts
13 Years
It is considered taboo to have a relationship with anyone under 18, at least in California and a few other states (the rest have either 16 or 17 as the age of consent), but us U.S. citizen want to treat 18 as THE age of consent of our country, so we will feel disgusted and dehumanize any country whose age of consent is below 18, such as Japan (for its infamy of sexualizing underage characters), until we're able to convert their culture into ours.
In the Netherlands it is allowed to have sex with a minor when there's an age difference of at most five years in between. So when you're 22, you can have sex with someone who's 17. Is there no such thing in the U.S.?

Another thing that I forgot to mention about my country is that it's absolutely not done to talk about our past (colonial) wars, particularly the one in Indonesia. This even goes to the point that it is barely discussed in history class, apart from a very brief explanation, like 'In 1949 Indonesia became independant'. I think it's pretty strange, as making mistakes inly has one purpose: to learn from them. What good is it to make mistakes if you can't even fullfill their one purpose?

Pinkie-Dawn

Vampire Waifu

Age 30
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Seen February 16th, 2021
Posted May 16th, 2019
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10.5 Years
In the Netherlands it is allowed to have sex with a minor when there's an age difference of at most five years in between. So when you're 22, you can have sex with someone who's 17. Is there no such thing in the U.S.?
There is, but it's a three-year age difference, and it only works for relationships that started early (either one not being close to 18).

Melody

Banned

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Posted March 2nd, 2018
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Personally I feel like the silliest societal taboo I've run across is the one on sex. It's taboo to talk about in 'polite company', taboo to express a desire for it, and taboo to actually tell someone you went through with it! Doing so usually gets you labeled a pervert or something similar; which is ridiculous.

There are also taboos on things surrounding gender roles and what men shouldn't do, or what women shouldn't do that are pretty silly as well.

moon

they/them
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Men can't wear dresses in public here. Or high heels for that matter. It's completely taboo. Not to mention make-up, at least visibly like mascara or lipstick. It's apparently unthinkable.

I pity the males who cannot feel the soft summer breeze make the dress sway around their legs, it's such a nice sensation.
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twocows

The not-so-black cat of ill omen

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Posted April 30th, 2021
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Personally I feel like the silliest societal taboo I've run across is the one on sex. It's taboo to talk about in 'polite company', taboo to express a desire for it, and taboo to actually tell someone you went through with it! Doing so usually gets you labeled a pervert or something similar; which is ridiculous.
It's not really "taboo," it's just frowned upon in the same way that talking about your bowel movements in public is frowned upon. And really, it's not all that unreasonable; most people aren't going to care if you mention that you've had sex, they're just going to have a problem if you start going into detail about it. This really isn't all that complicated. You don't talk about certain topics in polite company because they're disgusting or distasteful; there's a time and a place for it and a casual or polite discussion with people that you don't know very well is usually not that time nor that place. If you want to talk about such things to people who would be comfortable with those discussions or if you have some really important point to make that you think people really need to know, then fine. Otherwise, read the atmosphere and keep it to yourself if it's not appropriate.

And I should note that while I am generally of the opinion that no one has a right not to be offended, I do think that offending people for no particular reason is a rather pointless thing to do. Of course, I think you should still be free to do so, and I also think people should be free to think of you as a tactless, impolite person for it.

This is all coming from someone who has no problems discussing that particular topic whatsoever; it doesn't bother me in the slightest. I just understand the reasoning behind that unspoken rule and agree with it. I wouldn't want people talking about their bowel movements around me unless (or probably even if) I was good friends with them.
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zakisrage

In the trunk on Highway 10

Age 27
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Newcastle, NSW, Australia
Seen November 16th, 2016
Posted November 16th, 2016
500 posts
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My family is Lebanese, and Lebanon is actually pretty liberal as far as Muslim countries go. You can drink alcohol and eat pork, you don't have to wear a headscarf if you're a woman, you don't have to serve in the military if you're a man, and Christians are tolerated. Syria was that way too before ISIS took over much of the country. However, some people there are quite religious, and some people there frown upon men kissing women outside their family.

I was happy to find out that Lebanon recently legalised homosexuality, which puts it more forward than most Muslim countries. A lot of younger Muslims actually don't have a problem with people being gay, though most older Muslims view homosexuality as taboo. Still, there probably won't be any gay pride parades in Beirut anytime soon, since a backlash from the more conservative population would be bound to happen.

What might surprise Americans is that Arab men can get away with wearing kohl, which is a type of eyeliner. A lot of men still wear it even after decades of Western influence. I actually like wearing kohl myself. In the Western world, eyeliner (and makeup in general) is pretty much a girl thing. Men can also kiss each other on the cheek or hold hands in an Arab country and not be suspected of being gay. I feel like back in Lebanon and other Middle Eastern countries, men can get away with openly showing their friendship a lot more than men here in Australia.

America always struck me as a very reserved country in regards to men. I mean, in lots of countries men can go to beaches or pools in speedos, and in America you can't do that. Other countries also think it's okay for men to show interest in fashion or the arts, but America doesn't really have that.

That being said, Arab society isn't exactly politically correct. Racism against black people is pretty widespread in Lebanon and elsewhere - definitely more so than in the United States and Europe. A lot of our political figures get away with making anti-Semitic remarks. Censorship is also a problem, and anything remotely pro-Israel is banned, and many of the governments equate Jews with Israel even though many Jews don't like Israel (heck, even some of the ones living in Israel don't!). The most ridiculous was probably when they banned The Diary of Anne Frank in Lebanon. Music censorship isn't too bad in Lebanon, although one of Lady Gaga's albums is banned there. I am a Shia Muslim, and among the Lebanese Shia community, a lot of people actually support Hezbollah. I hate Hezbollah and am disgusted that some of my relatives support them.

Most countries in the Middle East still criminalise homosexuality and in Iran and Saudi Arabia it carries the death penalty. (Still, in a lot of countries, the punishments aren't enforced.) In some Middle Eastern countries it's illegal to be an atheist. The sad thing is that liberal Muslims like myself get ignored in favour of conservative Muslims, both in the West and in the Middle East, although it's also true that in many Middle Eastern countries you can't criticise the government.

Keep in mind that these conservative beliefs aren't confined to Muslims. Many Arab Christians and Druzes hold the same conservative beliefs as the Muslims.

Candy

Age 26
Female
In OJ Land
Seen 5 Days Ago
Posted August 22nd, 2020
3,813 posts
14.2 Years
Another thing that I forgot to mention about my country is that it's absolutely not done to talk about our past (colonial) wars, particularly the one in Indonesia. This even goes to the point that it is barely discussed in history class, apart from a very brief explanation, like 'In 1949 Indonesia became independant'. I think it's pretty strange, as making mistakes inly has one purpose: to learn from them. What good is it to make mistakes if you can't even fullfill their one purpose?
Well that's stupid. Over here we have no problems with putting in our history of being colonized by both Dutch and Japan. Granted it serves as a way to remind us on the many lives sacrificed in order to reach the point we are right now. I don't see any reason why the Dutch has to be ashamed on once colonizing Indonesia. It's in the past. You can't change the fact that it has already happened. All you can do right now is learn from it, as we from Indonesia learn from the years of colonization.

One thing I know is considered taboo in Indonesia is LGBT. They are still not legalized by law, and everyone who are LGBT are mostly frowned upon, thinking it's a mental disease. Granted, LGBT awareness has increased since Jokowi became president, but the muslim teachings are sooo well engraved into most of the Indonesians' minds that I doubt it'll clear pretty soon.
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Zhuang Zi
Crash Fever

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Age 23
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the States
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Posted October 16th, 2019
3,547 posts
9.5 Years
There is, but it's a three-year age difference, and it only works for relationships that started early (either one not being close to 18).
I can't help but point out the lack of truth to this.

Spoiler:
This is a map of age of consent across the USA


Only 9 states have 18 as age of consent. 8 more are at 17, and the rest (33 states) are at 16.

Not only that, many states also have separate laws allowing people near the age of consent to have sexual relations. For example, in the state of Florida the age of consent is 18, but if a person is less than 24 years old, they may enter into sexual contact with a person who is at least 16 years old. However, I do see you live in California, so the rules may be different there! But perhaps next time, specify which state you're talking about instead of representing the entire country :P

Pinkie-Dawn

Vampire Waifu

Age 30
Male
California
Seen February 16th, 2021
Posted May 16th, 2019
9,528 posts
10.5 Years
I can't help but point out the lack of truth to this.

Spoiler:
This is a map of age of consent across the USA


Only 9 states have 18 as age of consent. 8 more are at 17, and the rest (33 states) are at 16.

Not only that, many states also have separate laws allowing people near the age of consent to have sexual relations. For example, in the state of Florida the age of consent is 18, but if a person is less than 24 years old, they may enter into sexual contact with a person who is at least 16 years old. However, I do see you live in California, so the rules may be different there! But perhaps next time, specify which state you're talking about instead of representing the entire country :P
I think you missed out what I've said on my first post:

It is considered taboo to have a relationship with anyone under 18, at least in California and a few other states (the rest have either 16 or 17 as the age of consent), but us U.S. citizen want to treat 18 as THE age of consent of our country, so we will feel disgusted and dehumanize any country whose age of consent is below 18, such as Japan (for its infamy of sexualizing underage characters), until we're able to convert their culture into ours.
In the Netherlands it is allowed to have sex with a minor when there's an age difference of at most five years in between. So when you're 22, you can have sex with someone who's 17. Is there no such thing in the U.S.?
It varies from state-to-state.

In Arkansas, it's 16 for any major 19 years or older but if the minor is less than 16, but 14-15, then the major can't be older than 18.

California, however, is 18 with absolutely no close-in-age exceptions.

zakisrage

In the trunk on Highway 10

Age 27
Male
Newcastle, NSW, Australia
Seen November 16th, 2016
Posted November 16th, 2016
500 posts
9.8 Years
So what is considered not done in your country region?
for example, the use of the word '******' (neger) in Dutch. It's the most normal thing here, yet I'm pretty sure the word will get censored here.
I find that rather strange, since the word neger is considered offensive in German and in all Scandinavian languages. (A lot of Eastern European languages still use the word, though.) The French cognate nègre is also considered offensive, as is the feminine négresse.

In case you're wondering, the usual Arabic term for black person is aswad (black) for a man and sawda for a woman. The terms zanji (masculine) and zanjiyya (feminine) are also frequently used. (Arabs refer to the east coast of Africa as Zanj, which is where the name of the island of Zanzibar comes from.) Zanji is often translated as "negro", particularly in older works such as the Arabian Nights. Both aswad and zanji are considered neutral terms. The term abd, which means "slave", is considered offensive when used as a term for a black person, and open-minded Arabs avoid using it.

Esper

California
Seen June 30th, 2018
Posted June 30th, 2018
Nudity is generally considered taboo except in certain select places and among certain groups. Even then you can't have children around. It's because most people equate nudity with sex so being naked (or for a woman just being topless) is "indecent" and when children are around it's sometimes viewed as some kind of child abuse. (Which is why many people are against breast feeding in public.) It's kind of immature, but not unexpected from a country that has trouble talking accurately and respectfully about sex and the human body. (Thank you, abstinence-only education!)

zakisrage

In the trunk on Highway 10

Age 27
Male
Newcastle, NSW, Australia
Seen November 16th, 2016
Posted November 16th, 2016
500 posts
9.8 Years
I noticed that marriage between first cousins seems to be extremely taboo in America. Many Americans actually think that the Bible forbids marriage between first cousins, which isn't true because several Biblical characters marry their cousins. Cousin marriage was even censored from the international release of Fire Emblem: Awakening.

On the other hand, cousin marriage is very traditional for Arab countries. One of my aunts is married to her first cousin. I never saw it as unnatural since, being from an Arab family, I was used to it.

Esper

California
Seen June 30th, 2018
Posted June 30th, 2018
There's a scientific reason as to why marriage between first cousins is taboo. Constant in-breeding results in birth defects for their children.
I think the growing acceptance of same-sex couples and couples who don't want to or can't have children will make this taboo less of a problem for people as time goes on. Besides, it's a little worrisome to say people shouldn't marry because of their genetics. Not the least for privacy reasons, and for other troubling implications i.e. eugenics.

Kanzler

naughty biscotti

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Toronto
Seen April 22nd, 2022
Posted March 11th, 2022
5,957 posts
14.8 Years
I think the growing acceptance of same-sex couples and couples who don't want to or can't have children will make this taboo less of a problem for people as time goes on. Besides, it's a little worrisome to say people shouldn't marry because of their genetics. Not the least for privacy reasons, and for other troubling implications i.e. eugenics.
I don't think that's worrisome at all. Discouraging close relatives from having children for the sake of reducing the incidence of recessive diseases and the suffering that comes with that doesn't lead to eugenics. Eugenics is about manipulating human reproduction to "improve" the genetic features of a population and suggests that certain groups are superior and inferior to one another, but I don't see how preventing disease would slide to oppression.

Melody

Banned

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Seen March 4th, 2018
Posted March 2nd, 2018
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I don't think that's worrisome at all. Discouraging close relatives from having children for the sake of reducing the incidence of recessive diseases and the suffering that comes with that doesn't lead to eugenics. Eugenics is about manipulating human reproduction to "improve" the genetic features of a population and suggests that certain groups are superior and inferior to one another, but I don't see how preventing disease would slide to oppression.
I do think that the taboo could be adjusted to result in the same end. Rather than considering it taboo for first cousins to marry; just consider it taboo for them to procreate a child, but not for them to adopt children. With a little bit of proactive education we can clarify and refine such a taboo to achieve its proper intended goal.

Nagi

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For example, I'm Dutch and the Netherlands is known as a very tolerant country. This is especially true when compared to more conservative societies, like the US. Things that are considered controversial in the US are seen as completely normal here; for example, the use of the word '******' (neger) in Dutch. It's the most normal thing here, yet I'm pretty sure the word will get censored here. In fact, a prominent Dutch newspaper recently used the word, and was heavily criticised for it by the New York Times.
Let me know of your country's taboos down below!
EDIT: Yeah so it did get censored. For clarifactions, I meant the n-word.
I find that rather strange, since the word neger is considered offensive in German and in all Scandinavian languages. (A lot of Eastern European languages still use the word, though.) The French cognate nègre is also considered offensive, as is the feminine négresse.
just to rectify, 'neger' is indeed the Dutch version of this word, but it is in no way considered okay, and certainly not normal to use. i have not heard of the instance in which the word was mentioned by a prominent newspaper either, but i can understand the criticism. conversely, a chocolate-y snack that used to be called 'negerzoen' ('negro's kiss') was in fact renamed because of racism complaints. admittedly the word may not have as strongly a negative connotation here as it does in the US, but it's not something you should go around saying in public. and yes, i am Dutch as well.