When something is bothering you...

Started by xVaporeonx October 9th, 2015 10:51 PM
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Female
Seen May 13th, 2016
Posted October 18th, 2015
133 posts
7.6 Years
How do you cope? Like when you keep thinking bad thoughts about something or someone, how do you get your brain to calm down? I am having a pretty bad night, thinking bad thoughts of things that likely never will happen but I can't turn them off. I keep trying to distract myself from it. I hate when I become paranoid. It is like the worst feeling to have. Specially for someone with anxiety... Paranoia and anxiety is a horrible combination to say the least.

(I hope you guys/gals don't mind me making all these threads, I just don't have anyone to talk to this time of night when I can't sleep)
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Aether★

Age 32
Male
Monaco
Seen December 29th, 2021
Posted December 3rd, 2020
2,910 posts
12.8 Years
I was dealing with that kind of stuff in a long past, I just endured it I guess, some medicine helped. I have a job for four years now and I don't think about these things anymore.

I live with a person who has similar problems though, she always starts to read books and it helps her a lot, but then again she visited mental hospitals many times and she takes medicine for it.
Distraction usually works for me. If I immerse myself in something I enjoy, be it a book or a game or whatever else, I tend to forget what I was bothered about...or, when I do remember, it doesn't seem quite as awful as it did before. I mean, it obviously wasn't that awful if I could forget about it, was it? That's how I tend to see it, anyway.

Failing that, I tend to just let these things run their course. I'll brood, or I'll vent, or I'll just generally be in a mood for a while, but eventually I'll start to repeat myself, or I'll get bored, or I'll come to a realisation, and it'll stop bothering me. It might take a little while, but in the end these things just tend to go away. I'm the kind of person who won't drop something unless they're satisfied they've covered every possible angle. So if it's important or persistent enough for me to do that, I will. It's tiresome sometimes, but...that's life, I guess. These things are to be expected.
Female
Seen May 13th, 2016
Posted October 18th, 2015
133 posts
7.6 Years
I was dealing with that kind of stuff in a long past, I just endured it I guess, some medicine helped. I have a job for four years now and I don't think about these things anymore.

I live with a person who has similar problems though, she always starts to read books and it helps her a lot, but then again she visited mental hospitals many times and she takes medicine for it.
It is not to the point where it is driving me nuts, but it just hurts when I keep thinking on certain things and think about worse things... Like it isn't anything with self harm, it is more or less feeling like others might be betraying me. I have gotten this a few times with anyone I have gotten close to. I know it is a fear thing.

Distraction usually works for me. If I immerse myself in something I enjoy, be it a book or a game or whatever else, I tend to forget what I was bothered about...or, when I do remember, it doesn't seem quite as awful as it did before. I mean, it obviously wasn't that awful if I could forget about it, was it? That's how I tend to see it, anyway.

Failing that, I tend to just let these things run their course. I'll brood, or I'll vent, or I'll just generally be in a mood for a while, but eventually I'll start to repeat myself, or I'll get bored, or I'll come to a realisation, and it'll stop bothering me. It might take a little while, but in the end these things just tend to go away. I'm the kind of person who won't drop something unless they're satisfied they've covered every possible angle. So if it's important or persistent enough for me to do that, I will. It's tiresome sometimes, but...that's life, I guess. These things are to be expected.
I am the same way. I just keep thinking of different angles of every possible scenario. It is over the dumbest thing to and I KNOW this but like my past experiences are telling me "no, your wrong... what if this? what about that!?" I would like to be sleeping but I can't. My mind wont shut up lol
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Aether★

Age 32
Male
Monaco
Seen December 29th, 2021
Posted December 3rd, 2020
2,910 posts
12.8 Years
It is not to the point where it is driving me nuts, but it just hurts when I keep thinking on certain things and think about worse things... Like it isn't anything with self harm, it is more or less feeling like others might be betraying me. I have gotten this a few times with anyone I have gotten close to. I know it is a fear thing.
Those are intrusive (?? I use translator don't mind me) thoughts. You have to distract yourself with something. My mother has exact same problems as you mentioned. I usually start a conversation with her and we talk about various things, it usually helps too.
Female
Seen May 13th, 2016
Posted October 18th, 2015
133 posts
7.6 Years
Those are intrusive (?? I use translator don't mind me) thoughts. You have to distract yourself with something. My mother has exact same problems as you mentioned. I usually start a conversation with her and we talk about various things, it usually helps too.
Yeah I think it is actually a trait commonly seen in people with SAD, OCD, GAD, ect. I have GAD so, it would make sense. It is part of the reason panic attacks happen, I can't get my mind to slow down. It sucks a lot. Normally when something like this happens, I have my fiance to talk to and he calms me down but because of the time zone difference, he is sleeping.

I used to have some people on skype i talked to when things like this happened because it was a distraction and a way to laugh. It does help to talk with people even if it is a pointless conversation about nothing, sometimes small talk makes a big difference.
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Aether★

Age 32
Male
Monaco
Seen December 29th, 2021
Posted December 3rd, 2020
2,910 posts
12.8 Years
Yeah I think it is actually a trait commonly seen in people with SAD, OCD, GAD, ect. I have GAD so, it would make sense. It is part of the reason panic attacks happen, I can't get my mind to slow down. It sucks a lot. Normally when something like this happens, I have my fiance to talk to and he calms me down but because of the time zone difference, he is sleeping.

I used to have some people on skype i talked to when things like this happened because it was a distraction and a way to laugh. It does help to talk with people even if it is a pointless conversation about nothing, sometimes small talk makes a big difference.
See? You have something to help yourself then, at least a bit. But in all honesty, I don't want to sound rude. It is a mental ilness and this kind of things should be treated properly, I'm afraid.

Going offtopic here: Hey, at least you have fiance, even though he's in different timezone. I don't have a girlfriend who would comfort me in my bad times, I mostly have to deal with my emotions myself.
Female
Seen May 13th, 2016
Posted October 18th, 2015
133 posts
7.6 Years
See? You have something to help yourself then, at least a bit. But in all honesty, I don't want to sound rude. It is a mental ilness and this kind of things should be treated properly, I'm afraid.

Going offtopic here: Hey, at least you have fiance, even though he's in different timezone. I don't have a girlfriend who would comfort me in my bad times, I mostly have to deal with my emotions myself.
I have been to doctors and I don't want to take meds for this, I am against medication in general, I don't even take cold medicine. I get what you are saying, it is considered a mental illness but it is more a less getting stuck in a loop of fear and worry, it is intense stress and uncontrollable shifts of adrenaline. It is a natural thing everyone faces, I just have a harder time coping. My mother has anxiety and panic attacks as well but she takes valium for it.

And yeah I am thankful I have him but I sometimes feel horrible that he has to deal with this part of me and I sometimes don't tell him when something is bothering me, which makes me feel bad too. It is like a double-edge sword... Damned if I do, damned if I don't. He always tells me it is okay and he wants to be there for me but I still feel bad for it. He had to watch his mom struggle with anxiety growing up, and he was there for her, which is why I think he is patient with me.
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Aether★

Age 32
Male
Monaco
Seen December 29th, 2021
Posted December 3rd, 2020
2,910 posts
12.8 Years
I have been to doctors and I don't want to take meds for this, I am against medication in general, I don't even take cold medicine. I get what you are saying, it is considered a mental illness but it is more a less getting stuck in a loop of fear and worry, it is intense stress and uncontrollable shifts of adrenaline. It is a natural thing everyone faces, I just have a harder time coping. My mother has anxiety and panic attacks as well but she takes valium for it.

And yeah I am thankful I have him but I sometimes feel horrible that he has to deal with this part of me and I sometimes don't tell him when something is bothering me, which makes me feel bad too. It is like a double-edge sword... Damned if I do, damned if I don't. He always tells me it is okay and he wants to be there for me but I still feel bad for it. He had to watch his mom struggle with anxiety growing up, and he was there for her, which is why I think he is patient with me.
You should tell him everything, that's what real couples do, right? Tell each other everything, that is bothering them. Your behavior reminds me so much of my mothers, she's doing the same mistakes. This situation is really familiar for me.

But... You're really won't make it better. This kind of things tend to get worse, you have to help yourself as well.

This is your life though, As you sow, so shall you reap. No one will help you if you won't start fighting with yourself and helping yourself.
Female
Seen May 13th, 2016
Posted October 18th, 2015
133 posts
7.6 Years
You should tell him everything, you make the same mistake my mother does to me a lot of times, she doesn't tell me everything. Jesus Christ how much I know this situation.

But... You're really won't make it better ever if you will reject medicine for the rest of your life.

This is your life though, As you sow, so shall you reap. No one will help you if you won't start fighting with yourself and helping yourself.
There are reasons I don't go the medical route but that is way too much to get into. I do need to talk with someone though. If it doesn't start to improve after my fiance moves here, we already discussed it, and I will go talk to a doctor who specializes in this. One who is more for a natural route of healing. I do take maca root which helps the panic attacks and it does help the anxiety most of the time but sometimes my mind still likes to keep playing hopscotch.

I know the easiest and quickest way to get over my fears is to face them. I just have to really face them once and for all. It isn't fair to my fiance to live in a bubble or worry like this. If it was just me, then whatever but I have someone who cares deeply for me, and I owe this to him.
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Aether★

Age 32
Male
Monaco
Seen December 29th, 2021
Posted December 3rd, 2020
2,910 posts
12.8 Years
There are reasons I don't go the medical route but that is way too much to get into. I do need to talk with someone though. If it doesn't start to improve after my fiance moves here, we already discussed it, and I will go talk to a doctor who specializes in this. One who is more for a natural route of healing. I do take maca root which helps the panic attacks and it does help the anxiety most of the time but sometimes my mind still likes to keep playing hopscotch.

I know the easiest and quickest way to get over my fears is to face them. I just have to really face them once and for all. It isn't fair to my fiance to live in a bubble or worry like this. If it was just me, then whatever but I have someone who cares deeply for me, and I owe this to him.
I edited my previous post slightly. Sorry.

Exactly, you have someone who cares deeply for you. Use that as your motor, use that to make those bad feelings go away. There's nothing more to it.
Female
Seen May 13th, 2016
Posted October 18th, 2015
133 posts
7.6 Years
I edited my previous post slightly. Sorry.

Exactly, you have someone who cares deeply for you. Use that as your motor, use that to make those bad feelings go away. There's nothing more to it.
Thank you for talking with me, it actually has helped. I think the only way he would give up on me is if he seen me completely give up on myself, in which case, I couldn't blame him.

I think I should try to sleep before the sun comes up. lol
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Aether★

Age 32
Male
Monaco
Seen December 29th, 2021
Posted December 3rd, 2020
2,910 posts
12.8 Years
Thank you for talking with me, it actually has helped. I think the only way he would give up on me is if he seen me completely give up on myself, in which case, I couldn't blame him.

I think I should try to sleep before the sun comes up. lol
Don't give up on yourself.

STAY DETERMINED

Good night.

Sothis

Will this hand destroy you?

She/her
Firene
Seen 10 Hours Ago
Posted 14 Hours Ago
17,837 posts
9.9 Years
I distract myself mostly by listening to music or browsing funny and cute videos. If that doesn't help I try and tell myself that these thoughts aren't real and it's all just my mind playing tricks with me. Most of my thoughts are from past events so I remind myself that I can't change the past.

you cannot hope to win
so bound in flesh


starseed galaxy auticorn

PC's Resident Auticorn

Age 34
she/he/they
the land of magical unicorns
Seen 1 Week Ago
Posted 1 Week Ago
6,648 posts
18.9 Years
I get this all the time at night. I just watch TV for a while as I lay in bed. I end up falling asleep almost instantly when I do. It's probably the only way I can distract myself from thinking odd/bad things before bedtime. I also have very severe bouts of insomnia that only make this worse. :c
Female
Seen May 13th, 2016
Posted October 18th, 2015
133 posts
7.6 Years
I get this all the time at night. I just watch TV for a while as I lay in bed. I end up falling asleep almost instantly when I do. It's probably the only way I can distract myself from thinking odd/bad things before bedtime. I also have very severe bouts of insomnia that only make this worse. :c
I sometimes do the same but when my thoughts are really at it, I don't even remember what I just seen or was watching. I space out in my mind while looking at the tv.
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Crystal Berry

Crystal Mistress

Female
United States
Seen January 7th, 2020
Posted December 19th, 2019
720 posts
7.7 Years
Vaporeon.. if you need someone to talk to about these things I'm here. It's always good to let out your emotions. :)

I have bad thoughts all the time. I'm a very sensitive person in some ways. As for having unrealistic or pessimistic thoughts I have struggled with this throughout my whole life. There are two coping mechanisms that have helped me. One is meditation, because it really does work and it makes you feel a sense of peace and euphoria too. The only problem with meditation is that it usually takes a long time to master.

Another thing I do is learn how to boost my own self esteem. You need to learn how to forget about the past, and focus on improving your life NOW. If that seems hard, don't worry about it. People with low self esteems tend to be the most vulnerable. If you can learn how to boost your self esteem then some of your negative thoughts will naturally disappear. Whatever skills you want to learn - learn it. Whatever it is that you want to do really badly but feel lazy, unmotivated, or you feel that it's too hard, you can do it if you put your mind to it. Whatever you want to improve about yourself, do it. (I sound like Shia Labeouf xD) But seriously, if you can manage to boost your self esteem you will be able to win battles that you wouldn't be able to otherwise win.

Just my thoughts based on my own experiences. I still struggle with mental chatter and pessimistic thoughts, but I'm overall a very happy person as long as I'm not suffering from boredom.

Norou

Drifting away into an illusion

Age 27
Male
Canada
Seen January 23rd, 2023
Posted April 20th, 2022
56 posts
12.3 Years
Things tend to bother me more than they should, I have an anxiety disorder which then turns into depression if it gets bad. Normally I can adapt and fix the issue by coping with it and not letting things get to me, but sometimes I can't cope with things so I have to get back on my medicine. I haven't been on it for years, but lately my anxiety and depression have been getting worse, so I'll have to get back on it or go to counseling. Medication can be a good thing, but you can't rely on it to fix everything. You do have to learn to cope with your disorder and the medicine is there to help you. Which is why I take it when I really need, but I don't just switch on and off with medication. That can be dangerous, so I always talk to my doctor about it.

Bounsweet

Fruit Pokémon

Seen September 17th, 2018
Posted October 11th, 2017
2,102 posts
15.6 Years
I usually start journaling my emotions, what's going on, why I'm feeling the way I feel, etc. I didn't start doing this until I started therapy, because it gives me something to talk to my therapist about, but I've found the actual journaling process itself can help me a lot. It helps to ground me from the situation, and organize my thoughts. Later on when I'm feeling better, I can go back through what I wrote and try to assess what made me get so upset. Stuff like that.
Female
Seen May 13th, 2016
Posted October 18th, 2015
133 posts
7.6 Years
Vaporeon.. if you need someone to talk to about these things I'm here. It's always good to let out your emotions. :)

I have bad thoughts all the time. I'm a very sensitive person in some ways. As for having unrealistic or pessimistic thoughts I have struggled with this throughout my whole life. There are two coping mechanisms that have helped me. One is meditation, because it really does work and it makes you feel a sense of peace and euphoria too. The only problem with meditation is that it usually takes a long time to master.

Another thing I do is learn how to boost my own self esteem. You need to learn how to forget about the past, and focus on improving your life NOW. If that seems hard, don't worry about it. People with low self esteems tend to be the most vulnerable. If you can learn how to boost your self esteem then some of your negative thoughts will naturally disappear. Whatever skills you want to learn - learn it. Whatever it is that you want to do really badly but feel lazy, unmotivated, or you feel that it's too hard, you can do it if you put your mind to it. Whatever you want to improve about yourself, do it. (I sound like Shia Labeouf xD) But seriously, if you can manage to boost your self esteem you will be able to win battles that you wouldn't be able to otherwise win.

Just my thoughts based on my own experiences. I still struggle with mental chatter and pessimistic thoughts, but I'm overall a very happy person as long as I'm not suffering from boredom.

Thank you very much, and I am glad to hear so many of you are so understanding and get what I feel. I have a hard time letting go of things people did to me, and instead of forgetting it, I assume everyone in my present will do what people from my past did. I am a very blessed and lucky person to have what I have, I just really have to let go of the fears from my past.

Things tend to bother me more than they should, I have an anxiety disorder which then turns into depression if it gets bad. Normally I can adapt and fix the issue by coping with it and not letting things get to me, but sometimes I can't cope with things so I have to get back on my medicine. I haven't been on it for years, but lately my anxiety and depression have been getting worse, so I'll have to get back on it or go to counseling. Medication can be a good thing, but you can't rely on it to fix everything. You do have to learn to cope with your disorder and the medicine is there to help you. Which is why I take it when I really need, but I don't just switch on and off with medication. That can be dangerous, so I always talk to my doctor about it.
Have you ever tried maca root? It is just a radish but it is amazing for mood drops. It really does make me feel better. It may help you. Google on it. I am sorry you struggle with anxiety too, I really am. It is an awful thing to have to go through.
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Nolafus

Aspiring something

Age 27
Male
Lost in thought... again
Seen March 3rd, 2018
Posted March 11th, 2017
5,722 posts
10.9 Years
I have to talk about those bad feelings, and then distract my mind by either writing or playing video games. Other options are available, but when am I not doing one of those two? It usually works, unless it's a pressing issue that won't go away for a while. If it's that, then I use video games as a temporary distraction if it's out of my control, or just go ahead and do it if I can do something about it.
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Palamon

Silence is Purple.

Age 26
he/him
Snezhnaya, Teyvat.
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Posted 1 Day Ago
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14.3 Years
I usually can't because my mood disorder makes it impossible to cope with it alone, so I have to talk to someone who is close enough to understand me, or I'll just scream and cry and freak out...
Seen January 1st, 2023
Posted March 23rd, 2022
3,316 posts
9.2 Years
you have to remember that you are the sole controller of your mind. anything you think you are letting yourself think. i understand it is easy to just go off on a thinking tangent, especially if you enjoy thinking (because i know i do) and i know how easy it is to drift off into negative thinking. the way i see it you can spend endless time analyzing something, trying to find where you're being fooled, but really you're just creating something that was never there to begin with. minds are powerful, you can rationalize anything if you think about it long enough. your gut is almost always right, if your gut is telling you your thoughts are wrong they probably are. if you're doubting your negative thoughts then that is your logic telling you you're wrong.

think about when you actually know something is wrong compared to when you're just over thinking something to the point where you're putting thoughts in your head. when you know something is actually wrong you might think it here and there but overall you know, your gut tells you. when something isn't wrong initially, but you just keep thinking about it you create reactions, tones, scenes, that never happened that way, you convince yourself of a lie