I have nobodyy, I'm all on my oown

Started by moon March 31st, 2016 10:58 AM
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  • 29 replies

moon

they/them
Seen 10 Hours Ago
Posted 6 Days Ago
37,443 posts
15.5 Years
I'm kind of... Wondering what you guys do when you feel lonely. I constantly talk to people, really. Offline or online. Not sure I'm as good at being properly on my own as I usually say I am because it makes me feel, well, oddly lonely. Is it best to simply try to be alone less often, or instead learn to embrace loneliness and enjoy it somehow?

Pls no "i jerk off lol", I'm being kind of sincere. Unless you actually would like to suggest jerking off as a way to feel less lonely in which case well okay thanks for the advice!
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Mana

Age 31
Male
UK
Seen March 25th, 2023
Posted August 18th, 2021
10,075 posts
14.4 Years
I don't feel lonely very often. When I do I tend to zone out, watch TV and ignore the world even more than normal ><.

Arylett Charnoa

No one in particular.

Age 31
Female
Seen January 5th, 2023
Posted October 18th, 2017
1,130 posts
9.3 Years
Well, even though I live with my best friend in the whole world, he's off at work a lot. So I get pretty lonely too... especially on those days with long hours. I don't really think loneliness can be embraced, to be honest. It isn't something you can enjoy if you're the type who needs social interaction.

Trying to seek people out all the time isn't healthy either though. My therapist has told me that such behavior can become co-dependant. I think there needs to be a balance between having your me time and hanging around other people. Because I don't know about you, but I tend to... degrade if I don't have some time to myself.

But what do I do when I get lonely? I suppose I come here, I post. Even if people scare me and I don't respond as often to visitor messages, I like just posting and getting a like every now and then. Sometimes I'll stalk the chat rooms of this place, like the Discord, and watch others. Other times, I'll watch Youtube videos where people talk about their opinions so that I always have someone talking in my ear. It feels less lonely that way and I can also simultaneously have my alone time and get things done. Also, I have cats. Like some kind of silly cat lady, but taking care of them does help too. They really love me and it makes me happy to see them to enjoy my company so much. Still, that doesn't get rid of it. I'm still lonely, and I'd like more friends. But it helps. It's just about tolerating it, really, and trying to find the right level of spending time with others and having your alone time. I haven't quite been able to find it yet in my whole life time.

starseed galaxy auticorn

PC's Resident Auticorn

Age 34
she/he/they
the land of magical unicorns
Seen 1 Day Ago
Posted 1 Week Ago
6,648 posts
18.9 Years
That's what my invisible friends are for. :P I usually just write or listen to music at times. I try to channel a lot of that into writing alone, or I'll just try to find some other way to get the lonely feeling out of my mind. Then of course, I will browse PC for a place to post because being around others does help me feel less alone. :3 In all honesty though, I prefer the loneliness over being around a bunch of people though. I get nervous around others. Because of my awkward social skills, it's hard for me to enjoy social outings or other social situations. I often enjoy keeping to myself and not worrying about if someone will start talking to me.

I also suffer from social burnouts. If I socialize too much, then it's almost as if my brain fries. I can't socialize during one of these moments either. So, I usually like to be alone for a while until my brain can cool off and maybe start socializing again when I'm ready.

noa

sleeping cutie

Age 30
Female
Seattle
Seen November 29th, 2020
Posted July 20th, 2020
5,474 posts
7.6 Years
Hmm, well, I'm a naturally lonely person so that's a hard question to answer! I guess I'd say that chatting with a group of my friends, having fun together, cracking jokes and just laughing in general makes me feel less lonely. Actively doing something together really takes my mind off of a lot of things.

Also, stuffed animals. Lots of them!

pastelspectre

Memento Mori

Age 25
he/him
The Pacific Northwest
Seen 2 Weeks Ago
Posted 2 Weeks Ago
2,156 posts
13.1 Years
i typically feel lonely when im sad. so whenever im sad i just play video games or chat with my friends or boyfriend. uwu;; i dont have many friends irl tho,,

Her

Age 29
Seen 4 Hours Ago
Posted 4 Days Ago
you act as if there cannot be a balance

embracing loneliness is a part of growing and is not a sign of defeat or anything like that. just as we derive our understanding of sadness as being the opposite to happiness, our understanding of loneliness comes from whatever the opposite of loneliness is. fulfillment? i can't think of the word. there are going to be times of loneliness and nothing will change that. that's simply how things are. being a healthy, multifaceted human being means accepting the opposite side of positive emotions but not allowing their apparent negativity to be damaging.
secondly, being alone shouldn't mean feeling lonely. if you cannot be by yourself without feeling negative or unfulfilled, that's the more immediate issue to work on. you are going to be alone at times, you're going to have to live with it. find things to do that aren't explicitly social in nature, or things that keep you occupied. i don't think anyone can really help you on specifics there. the bigger issue is that you can't be on your own without feeling alone, so to speak. you can't expect to be occupied or whatever constantly and so you must find a way to enjoy the downtime. take up something that reinforces your self worth, if that's what you're into. or just do something fun to piss away the downtime until things return to your usual schedule. so long as you learn to not associate periods of inactivity with negative feelings, it's fine.

you can always try to be occupied/busy/etc more often and minimise the time spent by yourself, and that's perfectly fine, but the key is to accept that there is a balance needed and you cannot be around others all the time. just try your best to take life as it is without trying to force it to meet your needs.

Sonata

Don't let me disappear

Age 27
Male
Indiana
Seen 7 Hours Ago
Posted March 25th, 2023
13,619 posts
10.2 Years
When I start to feel overly depressed or lonely I play games or watch anime. There's really not much else I can do that won't hurt me more than help me. To a certain point I just deal with those feelings and try to push them aside, but of course it doesn't work 100% of the time.

Margot

some things are that simple

they/he
Seen April 16th, 2022
Posted February 25th, 2019
3,662 posts
17.3 Years
I went from having a fairly large social circle that I talked to every day to watching that slowly dwindle down over the years. I tend to get lonely when I'm really upset or sad and want someone to talk to. I've isolated myself so much over the past couple of years that it feels like I'm burdening people with my loneliness. It's stupid >_>

Nowadays I try to send little texts or snaps to people, or I go on tumblr. Other times I'll go on walks and listen to music, or try to do something creative so I don't dewll on it.

Sothis

Guns and ammo lie in front of you

She/her
Firene
Seen 1 Day Ago
Posted 1 Day Ago
17,844 posts
9.9 Years
I'm sort of used to it, I don't have any friends irl and online I have maybe 2 if I'm lucky lol. When I get to feeling especially bad though I just talk to my family about it or watch distracting videos on youtube.

The clips are all loaded,
now what shall you do?


Fannie

Don't let my milk go lumpy

Age 31
Female
UK
Seen December 31st, 2016
Posted May 14th, 2016
552 posts
7.5 Years
Like a few people here I get burnt out if I socialise too much. Particularly around people I know well, which doesn't make sense. Usually I don't feel bad being alone for a while. When loneliness does kick in and I still feel burnt out from spending time with people I know I either go online and get to know someone new or I go on Xbox and mess around in game chat.

Do you have any pets? I always wanted pet rats and never got around to it until last year when I felt particularly down. They take my mind off a lot crap. Animals can read emotions and cheer you up :)
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Bay

She/They
Dani California
Seen 18 Hours Ago
Posted 4 Days Ago
6,347 posts
17 Years
To those that mentioned pets, I agree they can be good to take your mind off if loneliness bothers you. I have a few cats and usually petting them or them getting me after being away always comfort me.
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El Héroe Oscuro

IG: elheroeoscuro

Male
Chicago
Seen April 10th, 2022
Posted August 21st, 2021
7,237 posts
14.3 Years
I'm an individual who suffers mild depression. It's something that I've been battling for a few years now, and ultimately was one of the leading causes why I resigned my first time around on staff. For the most part I'm in a much, much better place now, but there are still times when I do feel lonely and that sinking feeling starts to sink in.

The reason why I bring this is up is because I consider depression a side effect of feeling lonely. The most recent times that I've felt a depression coming on is because I feel that I'm all on my own and there's nothing I can do about it. In the past I used to try to just embrace it and accept the fact that I'm in a funk, but ultimately that doesn't help at all. Rather, it makes me sink further into a depression.

What I've found to help my loneliness/depression is to talk with individuals. Which at the times of these bouts is an incredibly hard thing to do. Sometime's I just feel like I need to carry this burden all on my own, that I do not want to throw it onto anyone else. But one should never feel like that. You'll be surprised how uplifting it makes you feel to just...open up about certain things that you ultimately might not do. So that's what I do my best to do now, even if it is difficult at times.

On a side note, this is a special shout out to Morkula. If you see this, thank you very much for letting me vent out my feelings to you. It truly did make a difference and it really makes me value my friendship with you (even if I don't always reciprocate it, which I do apologize sincerely.) Thank you very much for everything, friend.
The Mad Blogger

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Gamerscore: 629,694
Seen January 1st, 2023
Posted March 23rd, 2022
3,316 posts
9.2 Years
well for starters i think some people just enjoy being alone more than others in the same way that some people enjoy company more than others. it's not necessarily a bad thing either way based on your personality and what works for you. but i suppose too much alone time is not healthy for the brain and too much time with other people is not healthy for the individual self.

when we are absolutely alone without communication through devices also, we connect with our inner selves. there's no outward stimulation to distract us and so we turn inward. usually you're thinking, reading, doing an activity, etc. when we are with others or talking to others we are socially connecting and making bonds, we are communicating and stimulating the social aspect in ourselves.

if you feel like you're spending too much time with others i think you should first think to yourself why is it you spend so much time talking to other people. what does it do for you? how does it make you feel? compare this to how you feel when you're alone. when you understand why then i think you can tackle the issue the best way for you or maybe you'll decide there isn't an issue at all

Flowerchild

> smile!

Age 24
She/Her
Hyperspace
Seen 1 Week Ago
Posted July 7th, 2022
8,699 posts
13 Years
I don't really feel loneliness much. I find online communication pretty much as real and entertaining as hanging out with people IRL, and thanks to Discord and Facebook I'm pretty much always talking to people :D

TV shows have never really been able to entertain me, and even if it's a show I adore I usually have to watch it in increments of 1 episode every day (or often even less frequently) or I'll get super bored.

When I am bored or lonely, I often just start digging through files on my PC at random - often I'll find a game I never finished, or a story I started writing, or a program that I'd like to work more on.
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gimmepie

Age 27
Male
Australia
Seen 10 Hours Ago
Posted 13 Hours Ago
24,970 posts
11.1 Years
Sometimes it's nice to be alone, but that's not the same as being lonely.

These days I rarely feel lonely, when I'm not talking to people IRL I am interacting through the internet which fills the void that would normally create loneliness.
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Ullion

Simic Synthesis

Male
Canada
Seen 2 Days Ago
Posted 2 Weeks Ago
4,703 posts
16.9 Years
I feel like I feel alone/ get lonely frequently simply because of the poor situation I'm in. I'm unable to travel anymore, I have to stay in my room for 8 straight hours every single night. My physical condition is poor enough that I am unable to go to work or do any kind of physical activities - which cuts down on me ability to interact with other people. On some weekends, I do hangout with a coworker for a few hours in a single day, but that's about it.

Since I'm forced to spend the vast majority of my time in my house/room - I've been communicating with PC people on skype/discord , as well as just gaming or watching game-related streams more frequently. I've started to push myself to complete a lot of unfinished games I own. Having all those games sitting there, mocking me, is quite irksome :(

gimmepie

Age 27
Male
Australia
Seen 10 Hours Ago
Posted 13 Hours Ago
24,970 posts
11.1 Years
I feel like I feel alone/ get lonely frequently simply because of the poor situation I'm in. I'm unable to travel anymore, I have to stay in my room for 8 straight hours every single night. My physical condition is poor enough that I am unable to go to work or do any kind of physical activities - which cuts down on me ability to interact with other people.
This sounds quite similar to my own situation. All the best for the future!
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Nagi

she/her
home
Seen 2 Weeks Ago
Posted 2 Weeks Ago
1,003 posts
8.7 Years
Spoiler:
at the end of the summer last year, when it was time to get back to uni, and in the first few months following that, i felt really alone. i'd been put back a year because of some difficulties, meaning i'd not be seeing my old classmates on a regular basis anymore, and the new group i'd enter had already been together for years, so cliques had formed already. of course i should've just made an effort to make new and keep old friends, but this has always been something i struggle with.

which... is also something i'm very grateful to PC for. especially after being introduced to skype chats, i've met so many wonderful people and i suppose that in a way had become how i dealt with loneliness - logging onto skype and finding there's always one of the group chats that's active. you've been my saviours on more than one sleepless night.

now though... i'm starting to feel like maybe i should be alone a bit more. it may have to do with the fact that i haven't really been single for a really long time, but i'm starting to feel like i'm dependent on others, to where i'm avoiding being alone... which doesn't strike me as healthy. hence i've been trying to retract myself from PC a bit, and just focus on being by myself for periods of time. i've been thinking of taking a full hiatus until the summer as well... but we'll see how i do for now.


sorry, i guess i had to get that off my chest lol. tl;dr: i loved/relied on others to relieve my loneliness a lot, but i'm trying to stop that and be more okay by myself now. i think it's as Harley said, too; balance is very important.

killer-curry

Oro.........?

Age 24
Male
Malaysia
Seen February 26th, 2021
Posted November 1st, 2020
2,521 posts
7.8 Years
After my school days, all of my friends are split up and rarely meet together again. It is sad to become lonely guy for like 3 months. Thanks for this PC as my sweet home, somehow.

But I still love to talk with my mom while having meals or bring 2 can of beers and talk to my dad.

Purist of Black Water

The way we were...

Age 35
Male
Australia/Oceania
Seen June 19th, 2020
Posted May 27th, 2020
811 posts
7.1 Years
I wouldn't say I get lonely personally.just sick of people, so I'd rather be alone.
I can talk to people just fine, I just
hate it when people force their 'agenda' on you, and force you to talk.