Many people here are confusing being alone with feeling lonely. They are not the same thing, and don't always come hand in hand. And as someone who has had to find ways, and still is finding ways of not feeling lonely, by myself, I've a few tips for you, which prove to be extremely good at relieving the feeling and letting your mind sink into something.
But to first find ways to counteract the feeling of loneliness, you need to know what causes you to feel lonely in the first place. This differs from person to person, which is why I said you need to know, and why I can't just tell you why you feel lonely. Some general causes of loneliness which can be commonly experienced are;
- Social isolation
- A death of a person close to you
- Moving to a new home, area etc.
- People close to you moving away
- You lack a mental/physical stimulation
Bear in mind, that there a many more reasons people can feel lonely, and that I have only listed ones that I have experienced, and that are quite common. I'll go down the list with some things you can do to help, but of course, these are just what helped me, and wont necessarily be any good to you. You need to find what relieves the feeling best for you. My advice isn't just aimed at Rika either, but anyone who might be feeling lonely and is looking for some advice.
1. Social Isolation.
If you are feeling isolated socially, you need to again identify why. Are you not getting out enough? Maybe you feel your friends are going out without you. Or maybe you've been invited, but feel you wouldn't be wanted, or that they could have a better time without you. Whatever it is, you need to fight that train of thought. It's not beneficial to you, and it certainly isn't helping you feel any less lonely. This is easier said than done, especially when you suffer from depression, anxiety, or any such disorder. I know, I've been there. But the best thing you can do is find a friend you brings you out, and to actually go with them. If you are feeling isolated like this, my advice is to at first avoid very large groups, as they can be intimidating, and often make you feel worse. Instead, find a couple of friends to go to a bar with, to go to the park with, or just spend time with playing video games. Spending time around one or two other people is enough, and try and do this around once a week. Don't push yourself, because if you're not comfortable doing it, then you wont benefit from it. Once you feel better, try bigger things, like a party, or a cinema trip with more people. Small steps are key. Don't bite off more than you can chew.
2. A Death in the Family or of Someone Close to You.
It's very hard when you lose someone close to you, but you can be sure that it is hard for other people too. Sharing the pain amongst each other helps relieve the weight of the death from everyone's shoulders, and helps you to remember them better to. Alone, you will often times end up brooding over the death, however when you're with someone else who was also close to them, you will start sharing stories of the happier times. This is important, and is prevents you from associating the person who died with their death, but rather with the better memories you have of them. But also make sure to meet up with friends every so often to take you out or to spend time with you doing something you enjoy. Make sure that you don't spend every waking hour contemplating it, but find ways to grieve whilst keeping yourself busy. That said, do give yourself time to sit and grieve. That is also important, as it is a natural reaction, and locked up with be more harmful to you in the future.
3. Moving to a New Home, Area, etc.
Those who know me know that I am quite an extreme example in this case, and I learnt how to deal with this the hard way. Whenever you move away, the first thing you will be thinking is how unfamiliar everything is. This is made ten times worse if you don't have any way to meet with a familiar face, or travel back to a familiar area. It can make you feel very small and cause you to hide away, staying home more, not going out as often. The best thing to do, is find someone in the same situation, as in schools, college, university and the like. Then you just stick together and try your best to familiarise yourselves with your new environment, making a new friend and feeling more at ease at the same time. But that's not always easy, or even possible, and so finding a friendly face and letting them know that you are new and unfamiliar is important. Hopefully, if they are friendly, they will help you by spending time with you and taking you to places to help you get to know the area. The important thing is to find someone who will do this for you, get them to introduce you to new faces too, make yourself known, and find a group of people who share your interests. This may mean going out on your own to find clubs or groups that suit your interests, and it is a lot of effort. But trust me, it's much better than sitting home all the time doing nothing. It also will boost your confidence if you find somewhere you like to spend time, so is definitely something I would push everyone in this situation to do, if they are unsure.
4. People Close to You Moving Away.
This is harder, as you have no control over this, and the lack of control can make you feel very small and insignificant. But that isn't the case, and what is important to do, is to make the effort to remain in contact with the person moving away. Meet up once in a while, talk to them on Facebook/PC/Whatever medium you want, just make sure you do. I am guilty of not doing this, and I sorely regret it and must make the effort to get in touch with my friends. Keeping in touch and not letting them disappear is important. Whilst it is a two way thing, if you don't make the effort neither will they, putting the effort in to keep in touch is key.
5. Lacking a Mental/Physical Stimulation.
This can be associated with boredom, really. Being bored causes you to brood over things you could be doing, and often makes you feel very unsatisfied and lonely. The main times this occurs is when you live alone, or with someone who doesn't really share your interests. Filling your time at home up with a project, or multiple, is a good way of keeping your mind active and focused on the next achievement, and helps you feel like you are progressing and accomplishing something with your time. Easy ways to fill your time up are to read a book, set a goal that you need to work for in a video game and tidy your home/room/whatever. That last one sounds dull, and silly, but it really is a good way to spend your time, and makes you feel good when you're done. Having a clean living space boosts your sense of accomplishment and makes you feel better about yourself, raising your confidence and so on. Just tidy up! Bigger projects I would very strongly recommend are learning an instrument, learning a language, or just learning something new in general. There is so much knowledge in the world, so find something that interests you and dig into it. Teaching yourself something new is one of, if not the most rewarding thing you can fill your time with, so don't ever be satisfied with what you currently know; there is more out there you can learn. Sport is also a very good way to fill up your time, as with sport comes a heap of social interaction, and so I highly recommend trying out a sport. However, not everyone enjoys it, which is why I suggest it last.
That's all the advice I can give you all right now, in such a general sense. Loneliness differs from person to person, and it's up to you to find out why you feel lonely, and to find things that stop you feeling lonely. That doesn't mean you can't ever be alone; on the contrary, you can be alone the majority of the time and not feel lonely. It's all down to you to find ways to prevent it. In this world, as harsh as it sounds, people wont make the effort for you. You have to make it for yourself. That's not to say no one is a nice person, but everyone has their own life, problems and struggles to deal with, and the better you can solve yours yourself, the more you can help others too. Don't wait to be picked up off the floor, push yourself up and strive to be the best you can be. That's my way of avoiding loneliness. And I hope it helps some of you :)