I really want to talk to you, but I am to shy.

Started by I'm so HM02 May 17th, 2016 11:25 PM
  • 1200 views
  • 31 replies

I'm so HM02

Banned

Age 31
Male
Your worst nightmare!!!
Seen December 6th, 2016
Posted September 6th, 2016
281 posts
8.3 Years
Does anyone have the problem talking to people you want to learn more about etc. (IRL or Online/PC)? I do I see alot of people here I'd love to talk to, but my gut says no. I just say never mind and walk off feeling defeated.

JJ Styles

The Phenomenal Darling

Male
NCR
Seen November 10th, 2019
Posted November 10th, 2019
3,924 posts
8.4 Years
I used to have this problem as well, especially in real life where I was quite the awkward and quiet person. I grew up with little friends as a kid, so it was only during 3rd year high school where I started to be more vocal with people, mainly since my source of self-confidence back in that day was playing DotA and basically being skilled in video games, especially competitive multiplayer ones. Sure its not something that is relevant to everyone since not everyone's a gamer or heavily invested in video games, and obviously not everyone is like a competitive multiplayer gamer, but I find that looking for that avenue of building self confidence to be helpful. Like just look at yourself. Think of what you are good at. What makes you strong, what empowers you, etc etc.

And when i found out that people do indeed have very different tastes and preferences, i did widen my horizons by dwelling in other matters of interest. Like, in my case, gaming is fine and all, but there were people who i wanted to talk to who were more interested in art, so i tried drawing and i was able to build some confidence with it, since i knew that i could draw well if given the time to do so. I'd show my drawings (which at that time was good enough) and they'd see that i have some skills but its nice to know that they can even point out some flaws in my art.

its like when people ask about you being good at something, you'd easily find a few things to talk about and be proud of doing. And chances are, you might even recommend them to try things you'd like doing and they may end up doing the same, thus increasing your chances of gaining a lot of people to talk to.

It doesn't hurt to try really. I mean, there's a crapload of people who i would want to talk to here in our lovely little forum, but i have to think way to make them feel comfy talking to me in a conversational form. I mean i can always talk about my love of gaming, action movies, and Blood, ultra-violence, and Supermurder (BUS) in video games and movies all day, but obviously not everyone is in with that. (and it would be absolutely weird, even to me, if everyone was in to the whole BUS)

digi-kun

Hourai NEET

Age 33
Male
Seen March 12th, 2018
Posted July 12th, 2016
4,638 posts
19.3 Years
Mmmm...It really depends on my information on the person already. If I already know we have similar tastes, it's not hard to strike up a conversation, though if I don't, then I usually try and think through how to approach them and by that time, the chance has already gone by. Especially on forums like this, I'll usually spend a good 10-30 minutes writing and rewriting the post before I actually get it into a form that conveys what I'm trying to say and sometimes in the faster moving threads, I'll end up missing my opportunity to post anything. That or I give up and scrap it because it's too embarrassing after reading it XD

First impressions are something I take fairly seriously, so if I can't nail it, then I'll give up usually.

kendypls

Currently playing: Expert Emerald (Casual)

Age 28
Male
UK
Seen February 10th, 2020
Posted July 4th, 2017
252 posts
7.1 Years
Hell no I don't have this problem! (but maybe I'm over confident :P) Get yourself out there, get yourself known, if you want friends you gotta speak up! If nobody could approach anyone, then nobody would have friends! If someone rejects your offer, move on!

Pop me a message on my profile if you want to chat! and Good Luck :)
Paired to the purrfect Semi-Chan
Signature by the lovely Sexy Pebbles
Seen September 18th, 2020
Posted February 18th, 2018
7,741 posts
16.6 Years
I might say yes but I'm not interested in these people anyway. Anyone I really want to talk to, I will, and I usually find them on this site, but it's a rare occurance all the same. Most people are not very smart, and don't genuinely have much to offer others. So, just my 2¢: hesitation may well be borne of actual disregard.

First impressions are something I take fairly seriously, so if I can't nail it, then I'll give up usually.
You're right to, I think. It's very rare for someone to be inconsistent with what their first impressions suggest. One can and should judge books by their covers; it's what they're there for.

Spiff

love child

Age 28
Male
Seen January 29th, 2023
Posted March 22nd, 2021
1,028 posts
8.4 Years
In terms of PC, a lot of members on here struggle with some form of anxiety or shyness, so anyone going through that isn't unique and shouldn't feel alone. I don't think anyone joins not be bothered. I know fear of rejection is a thing, but odds are whoever you want to reach out to wants some social interaction just as much as you do. If you feel awkward, take comfort in the fact that no one is going to notice. You might make someone's day by striking up a conversation.
fun fact: lucid first started talking to me by spamming my inbox with will smith gifs

ShinyUmbreon189

VLONE coming soon

Age 31
Male
Chicago
Seen December 17th, 2022
Posted July 7th, 2019
1,461 posts
11.2 Years
As a musician It's mandatory I talk to people and get myself know. Those type of tactics will help in getting promotions. So I have no problem in talking to someone online or irl. Who gives a psyduck what someone thinks anyways? Each to their own I guess.

apart

A bitter-sweet kiss

Behind you ^^
Seen May 18th, 2018
Posted October 30th, 2016
137 posts
7 Years
Does anyone have the problem talking to people you want to learn more about etc. (IRL or Online/PC)? I do I see alot of people here I'd love to talk to, but my gut says no. I just say never mind and walk off feeling defeated.
All the time.. :(

Jetfire

أربعة ملوك السماوية

Age 31
Male
???
Seen September 23rd, 2022
Posted March 22nd, 2021
354 posts
15.8 Years
I used to work with young individuals that would be TERRIFIED to give a small speech in front of a crowd of 15. It was tough working with them but it was also satisfying seeing them improve and work out their fears.

It's all a process. Some are natural at it while others have to work at it. I'm one of those who had to work for it.

Sothis

Guns and ammo lie in front of you

She/her
Firene
Seen 1 Day Ago
Posted 1 Day Ago
17,844 posts
9.9 Years
All the time, I never talk to people, even on here I rarely do unless I'm replying to a thread. I feel like I'll annoy them.

The clips are all loaded,
now what shall you do?


Mawa

The typo Queen

Age 30
Female
Canada
Seen August 13th, 2020
Posted March 1st, 2020
I kinda have this problem in real life, but not at all on PC. If I want to say something here to a member, I'll say it! :)
In real life tho I am awkward.
I miiiiight be back?
And why am I not a supporter anymore >.<
Age 36
Seen 52 Minutes Ago
Posted 53 Minutes Ago
10,149 posts
17.1 Years
Since I have social anxiety, I do find it a problem to talk to people when I don't know much about them. (Of course, I also don't talk much to people that I've known for years, because I'm always afraid of saying something they'll judge as stupid, and they'll hate me forever.)

I have improved over the years to where I will talk periodically to someone more when I first meet them. Working retail has made me a little less fearful dealing with the public. But the old fear still remains.

It's a little better for me online, especially here. On PC I have more confidence than I do anywhere else online or in real life.

Reunilu

of the Eastern Skies

Female
Paramushir Docks
Seen February 27th, 2018
Posted February 5th, 2018
226 posts
7.4 Years
All the freaking time, especially with adults. It's really been like that for as long as I can remember. I mean I'm less shy about myself if I'm in a group or if it's a place on the Internet, but not overly so. For example, I'd love to get to know the people of the A&D subforum a little more, but I don't have any drawing/painting skills nor can I find a place to jump into the conversation. I'm just picky like that. Ehehehe...
THEME | GALLERY | QUOTE | DEVIANTART | IMAGE CREDITS

Lycanthropy

Owl + Bear =
Owlbear

Age 26
any
Clan of Fools, Waterdeep
Seen December 14th, 2022
Posted December 14th, 2022
11,033 posts
9.3 Years
IRL definitely. Besides my brother I only have a few friends who I can talk to openly. In other cases I'm super shy, I can't even start a conversation without a "should I/shouldn't I" debate in my head that often takes so long that it has become super awkward to start a conversation later. It's getting better lately, but still not much. Online, I find things a lot easier.
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starseed galaxy auticorn

PC's Resident Auticorn

Age 34
she/he/they
the land of magical unicorns
Seen 1 Day Ago
Posted 1 Week Ago
6,648 posts
18.9 Years
All of the time. It comes with having special needs. I'm always worried the person won't like me or find me annoying. :c

Her

Age 29
Seen 4 Hours Ago
Posted 4 Days Ago
not really, especially online where it doesn't matter at all. offline sure i have anxiety but it's not something i can't sidestep when i need to, i hate letting things fester or continually bother me so i try my best to get whatever is making me anxious out of the way as soon as possible.

granted, i'd rather just keep to myself and choose to do so most of the time, preferring only to interact with a small group of people. i don't like feeling like i am bound to interact with different people constantly, it's just tiring. honestly, i don't get anxiety from new people but rather maintaining relationships with people i already know and all that entails. the stress of keeping friendships is probably a whole other issue though. but if i want to talk to someone new then i mean, i'm not gonna let things get in my way. i suppose i'm lucky in the sense that i'm as forceful and direct as i am, i'd probably be genuinely troubled by anxiety if i was less so.
Sort of, I guess? In real life it's more a case of "I'm not shy, I just don't want to talk to you, so go away." really. Social interaction exhausts me and I derive no benefit from it; it's always banal and depressing.

Online, I kinda vary depending on my mood. I wouldn't say I was shy, more than I'm aware I am best sampled in extremely small doses and that most people wouldn't welcome an extended conversation with me because I have a tendency to textwall the hell out of them. Most of the time that stops me from contacting people, but there are very rare instances where I'll throw caution to the wind and take the initiative. Like, the planets aligning happens more often than that does. I don't think I'm a nuisance, I know I'm a nuisance. I don't much care, but I don't like trying to force conversation upon others. So I don't. Usually.

Palamon

Silence is Purple.

Age 26
he/him
Snezhnaya, Teyvat.
Seen 8 Hours Ago
Posted 20 Hours Ago
7,789 posts
14.3 Years
Nope.

I don't find people very interesting to talk to all that often, after all.

ShinyUmbreon189

VLONE coming soon

Age 31
Male
Chicago
Seen December 17th, 2022
Posted July 7th, 2019
1,461 posts
11.2 Years
Naw man, you can't let anxiety get to you. Everyone is anxious at some point but you have to draw that line and take initiative sometimes.
Most people on here will either reply back or ignore you. Been there done that, but in the end, it doesn't really matter. Why care so much about what someone thinks? If they ignore you move on, you have to break out of your shell eventually.

Bobbylicious

Banned

Age 27
Male
Australia
Seen December 16th, 2022
Posted July 20th, 2018
921 posts
11.2 Years
Story of my life. I love talking to and meeting new people but I'm like so shy and reserved it's impossible for me to hold a conversation with anyone and I actually hate it.

Online I don't care though. It's so easy to mash letters on a keyboard then come out with words

Hikamaru

Age 30
Female
Australia
Seen January 24th, 2019
Posted September 4th, 2018
50,214 posts
12.2 Years
I'm in the same case as Kimi, someone who has autism and it kinda hampers my social skills. It's no surprise that I'm shy and hard to speak to on a real-life basis.
Gone forever for personal reasons.
Visit my Tumblr page if you wish to contact me.

http://daikenkki.tumblr.com/