relationship query #695

Started by Her August 20th, 2016 7:15 AM
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  • 7 replies

Her

Age 29
Seen 3 Hours Ago
Posted 1 Week Ago
what are some clear signs that a relationship is not going to work? do you find it easy to recognise these signs, whether in yourself in others? did you learn this information the hard way?

gimmepie

Age 27
Male
Australia
Seen 1 Day Ago
Posted 1 Day Ago
I find being told the relationship is over is a pretty noticeable sign.
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Her

Age 29
Seen 3 Hours Ago
Posted 1 Week Ago
I find being told the relationship is over is a pretty noticeable sign.

Megan

She/Her, It/Its
Seen 20 Minutes Ago
Posted 20 Minutes Ago
17,751 posts
10.3 Years
The relationship with my old laptop was over when it refused to work. But it was alright and I managed to get over it pretty quickly.
Moderator of Previous Generations, Forum Games and VPP
You got a thing!
Seen January 1st, 2023
Posted March 23rd, 2022
3,316 posts
9.2 Years
Well to start there's two distinct differences. There's when you know yourself it isn't working for you and then there's when you know it isn't working for the other person

When I know it's not working for me I start to get annoyed. I start to just find them annoying and wish to be left alone. That's a sign to me whatever I felt initially is leaving me.

When I know the other person isn't feeling me anymore it's a bit different. It's hard to explain unless you've experienced it, but it's just this unspoken feeling you can feel. They're acting a little different than usual... they just seem off. It's a pretty uncomfortable feeling

Sothis

Will this hand destroy you?

She/her
Firene
Seen 11 Hours Ago
Posted 14 Hours Ago
17,837 posts
9.9 Years
When they start to ignore you, I find.

you cannot hope to win
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moon

they/them
Seen 13 Hours Ago
Posted 2 Days Ago
37,443 posts
15.5 Years
When they don't respect your interest and don't share your goals. What kind of future would you have then?
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BubbleBeams

Defeating Champions Since 1999

Age 33
Female
Iowa
Seen October 26th, 2021
Posted September 23rd, 2016
221 posts
9.8 Years
For me I can always tell when someone isn't going to work for me if I start to feel regularly annoyed and start to hold feelings of animosity toward the other. Granted, I've had a couple of extremely unhealthy relationships, so that's probably a part of that. I am also aromantic which can cause some issues because I don't really desire intimacy.

But I think there are a lot of signs in general that a relationship isn't working out. If one or both of them don't want to spend as much time together (as in, they really just don't want to be around that person as opposed to having a healthy amount of time apart so as not to suffocate each other), one or both people in the relationship starting to show interest in other people or maybe even developing feelings for other people. A general lack of interest or desire for their partner. And as someone stated above, people who's goals don't line up very well. It's hard to maintain a relationship when two people want different things. Eventually that will create problems no matter how enamored you were with a person at the beginning.

I also think one of the biggest signs that a relationship isn't going to work is if there is constant fighting. Like, not typical arguments that happen because of simple disagreements, but legitimate fighting with yelling, name calling, finger pointing, blaming, etc... I think those things are a pretty clear sign that you no longer have respect for the other person and probably don't love them anymore (if you ever did at all).
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