Nina's Path

Started by Nina December 27th, 2016 5:41 PM
  • 2355 views
  • 24 replies

Nina

Age 31
Female
Arkansas
Seen December 20th, 2020
Posted December 7th, 2020
2,409 posts
15.5 Years


Hi I'm Nina! If you don't know me, I'm a moderator of the art section here. In my day to day life, I work as a freelance illustrator. I went SCAD for Illustration, but so far it seems like the best client work that I can get at the moment is actually game asset creation. While it may seem like I'm a spoiled child because I'm not going to go out and go get a job at mcdonalds and insist on doing art, I'm doing it for multiple reasons.
  1. I have a ridiculous amount of school debt. Like hell I'm going to go to school for art and not do art, it seems like such a waste. Besides me loving it. I might as well die trying.
  2. I DID have a 9 - 5 like job. It was more 8 - 6 and was working in a bakery. I did work very hard, sometimes for long hours, and did learn a lot but things were getting...mentally very very very bad.
  3. I now know that I have degenerative disk disease. What this means besides chronic back pain, is that if I wrench my back doing hard labor I'm going to really irreparably hurt it. I won't give you some long details about my woes, but let's say either standing for hours on end or sitting on hours on end is very difficult for me. I either have to be moving around with time to sit down or have long weekends to recover.

Well, I do have my goals outlined in this nice thing over here!! ----> How I'm going to achieve these things, or how I will incorporate this section into it, I don't really know.
Maybe a check in system or something like that? I guess I can start with the fact that I've already made more progress towards a goal!

Money!
  • While not related to illustrative art, I got two photography jobs! The first is seasonal, and has school year times. It's taking school photo day stuff! Lifetouch will teach me everything I need to know, and has a good thing in terms of reimbursing for travel as well as decent pay. It doesn't have insurance unfortunately, but this way I still get to do freelance illustration. The second is a contract job. A real estate market research company basically hires people to take unedited photographs of builds everywhere, as long as you have a camera and some type of photo experience, which I do. You get a list of 20 - 30 building, (storage facilities atm) and go and take pictures from different angles and stuff. I have to work on my people skills for both, as you get paid extra if you get permission to take pictures from the inside, and obv dealing with school children, but I think I'll do ok.





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Aquacorde

⟡ not everything is sink or swim ⟡

Age 29
she/her/he/him
Ankh-Morpork
Seen 7 Hours Ago
Posted March 15th, 2023
12,275 posts
18.9 Years
HI NINA I AM HERE IN THIS CUTE-ASS THREAD Okay so being physically fit is the one thing I know a lot about even if I am not lmao so let me start talking abt that yeah? So what are your current limitations in terms of your current health/strength/weight and your back?
marie & casey & rosey
groc x aquacorde x juno 4ever | rp is just collaborative writing
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Nina

Age 31
Female
Arkansas
Seen December 20th, 2020
Posted December 7th, 2020
2,409 posts
15.5 Years
HI NINA I AM HERE IN THIS CUTE-ASS THREAD Okay so being physically fit is the one thing I know a lot about even if I am not lmao so let me start talking abt that yeah? So what are your current limitations in terms of your current health/strength/weight and your back?
Lifting with my back in pretty much not recommended. The things given to me to do by chiropractor is to use a resistance band on my feet to like, pull away and get flexibility in my legs and hips without causing too much problem. The issue is with the upper belly, because like the only way I see to help get rid of fat there is doing something close to crunches, and that's totally not happening yet. A few months ago when I had issues, if I laid down I actually couldn't raise my hips high enough to push a belt under even. It's a bit better now, and hip thrusts are part of what I'm supposed to do, but it still doesn't help with the upper area in terms of a lot of muffin top or muscle in the abs.




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Aquacorde

⟡ not everything is sink or swim ⟡

Age 29
she/her/he/him
Ankh-Morpork
Seen 7 Hours Ago
Posted March 15th, 2023
12,275 posts
18.9 Years
Well really having a good diet helps a LOT with losing weight, and when you do build up muscle anywhere it will start burning fat as you just. Live. So maybe let's think about making an exercise routine based on the exercises you're supposed to be doing anyway? Increase sets and reps, include some more low-impact cardio and core workouts, that kind of thing? And make a plan about WHEN you're going to do them.
marie & casey & rosey
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Aquacorde

⟡ not everything is sink or swim ⟡

Age 29
she/her/he/him
Ankh-Morpork
Seen 7 Hours Ago
Posted March 15th, 2023
12,275 posts
18.9 Years
HEY NINA how's it been going with trying to eat a consistent three meals a day?
marie & casey & rosey
groc x aquacorde x juno 4ever | rp is just collaborative writing
join rp: ultra sinnoh

Nina

Age 31
Female
Arkansas
Seen December 20th, 2020
Posted December 7th, 2020
2,409 posts
15.5 Years
HEY NINA how's it been going with trying to eat a consistent three meals a day?
Not so well. 1 real meal the first two days, only 2 the last 2. I haven't been getting up early enough for breakfast.




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Aquacorde

⟡ not everything is sink or swim ⟡

Age 29
she/her/he/him
Ankh-Morpork
Seen 7 Hours Ago
Posted March 15th, 2023
12,275 posts
18.9 Years
Well, two is better than one! How late have you been getting up?
marie & casey & rosey
groc x aquacorde x juno 4ever | rp is just collaborative writing
join rp: ultra sinnoh

Nina

Age 31
Female
Arkansas
Seen December 20th, 2020
Posted December 7th, 2020
2,409 posts
15.5 Years
Well, two is better than one! How late have you been getting up?
Anywhere around 11am - 2pm. I have an alarm set as I always do for 7:30, but I just keep ignoring it recently. I get up, get it from across the room, turn it off and lay down for a little longer.




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Aquacorde

⟡ not everything is sink or swim ⟡

Age 29
she/her/he/him
Ankh-Morpork
Seen 7 Hours Ago
Posted March 15th, 2023
12,275 posts
18.9 Years
story of my life, sis. I've been setting my alarms for later and working my way back, because for a while I was on that kind of schedule and it wasn't doing me any favors. Originally I had alarms at ~7:30 but that was absolutely useless bc I just... ignored lmao. So I started with setting alarms for 10:30-ish and only laying around in bed until noon. Once I was better about that schedule, I pulled back the alarms to go off at around 9:30, and make myself get out of bed before 11 etc etc. It's just a matter of incremental progress- doing it all at once just straight up doesn't work for me haha.

Maybe try something like that? Or only allowing yourself to snooze for an hour? I tend to use the voice commands/timer to my advantage, just setting the timer for a half hour... twenty minutes... ten minutes... and then getting my ass up after that.

tbh the reason I started getting up earlier has to do with trying to get breakfast in as well! I still only do a light breakfast, but at least it's getting my metabolism going.
marie & casey & rosey
groc x aquacorde x juno 4ever | rp is just collaborative writing
join rp: ultra sinnoh

Nina

Age 31
Female
Arkansas
Seen December 20th, 2020
Posted December 7th, 2020
2,409 posts
15.5 Years
Well, I've gotten up a bit earlier the last 2 days, and eaten more meals!

But also snacked a bunch. Ehhh... I broke my drawing everyday yesterday, but I have gotten a lot of exercising done.

In sorta bad news, I no longer have the second contract photography job. It was amicable, but it turns out my anxiety was too strong to take photos of private property. (I have my rights, but I can't deal with confrontation...which is what happened and it's caused me a lot of emotional pain) It's probably a short term goal to go see a therapist and did a little research, but even with insurance I don't think we have enough money right now.

I did get a some done of that photojob and will be getting a little bit of payment, just not until the 15th.




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SirBoglor

It's over, isn't it?

Age 24
Male
National Park, Johto Region
Seen December 22nd, 2018
Posted January 3rd, 2018
528 posts
7.6 Years
Well, I've gotten up a bit earlier the last 2 days, and eaten more meals!

But also snacked a bunch. Ehhh... I broke my drawing everyday yesterday, but I have gotten a lot of exercising done.

In sorta bad news, I no longer have the second contract photography job. It was amicable, but it turns out my anxiety was too strong to take photos of private property. (I have my rights, but I can't deal with confrontation...which is what happened and it's caused me a lot of emotional pain) It's probably a short term goal to go see a therapist and did a little research, but even with insurance I don't think we have enough money right now.

I did get a some done of that photojob and will be getting a little bit of payment, just not until the 15th.
Hi Nina. I was just scrolling through on here and I really want to help you out in any way that I can. I'm no physical health expert (I haven't awoken any earlier than noon in the past month), but I have plenty of experience with mental health. Plus, I feel the need to support you in any way possible. I don't like how only one other person has asked about how you are doing. So, here I am.

I'm sorry about that photojob. I'm hoping that things aren't too financially tough on you right now. Plus anxiety can be a real demon to deal with. I hope that you're holding up okay.

Nina

Age 31
Female
Arkansas
Seen December 20th, 2020
Posted December 7th, 2020
2,409 posts
15.5 Years
Hi Nina. I was just scrolling through on here and I really want to help you out in any way that I can. I'm no physical health expert (I haven't awoken any earlier than noon in the past month), but I have plenty of experience with mental health. Plus, I feel the need to support you in any way possible. I don't like how only one other person has asked about how you are doing. So, here I am.

I'm sorry about that photojob. I'm hoping that things aren't too financially tough on you right now. Plus anxiety can be a real demon to deal with. I hope that you're holding up okay.
Things are a bit financially tough, actually. I do have a more constant job lined up at the end of January, but at the moment I'm not sure where the money for my next bill is going to come from. To make matters worse I put the payment for the first bill of the month in the wrong account, it got overdrafted, then a $25 fee on top of it, so that's a little upsetting this morning.

I guess I need to crunch down and find more commission work, as I feel bad if I'm not drawing in the first place, getting some stuff done might help.




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SirBoglor

It's over, isn't it?

Age 24
Male
National Park, Johto Region
Seen December 22nd, 2018
Posted January 3rd, 2018
528 posts
7.6 Years
Things are a bit financially tough, actually. I do have a more constant job lined up at the end of January, but at the moment I'm not sure where the money for my next bill is going to come from. To make matters worse I put the payment for the first bill of the month in the wrong account, it got overdrafted, then a $25 fee on top of it, so that's a little upsetting this morning.

I guess I need to crunch down and find more commission work, as I feel bad if I'm not drawing in the first place, getting some stuff done might help.
I've found that buckling down and grinding hard can really help with things. Even if it doesn't help as much financially as you'd like, you'll still find yourself feeling much better about the effort that you're putting in! :)

Nina

Age 31
Female
Arkansas
Seen December 20th, 2020
Posted December 7th, 2020
2,409 posts
15.5 Years
I've found that buckling down and grinding hard can really help with things. Even if it doesn't help as much financially as you'd like, you'll still find yourself feeling much better about the effort that you're putting in! :)
Yeah, thanks for that. : )




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Nina

Age 31
Female
Arkansas
Seen December 20th, 2020
Posted December 7th, 2020
2,409 posts
15.5 Years
May I ask why you want to learn Unity especifically?
Unity seems to be one of the game dev programs that is more popular I guess? It seems easy to access, it's open to both 3D and 2D and many independent dev who have prior backgrounds as artists seem to use it and feel comfortable with it. It also is able to export to both mac and windows, as well as in browser.
It free and also doesn't require you to buy any pro or license things unless you make over $100k.

Right now, it's the only thing I've used (besides like rpgmaker) to make something, and it was done under a week so I think it's easy enough for me to grasp.




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Nina

Age 31
Female
Arkansas
Seen December 20th, 2020
Posted December 7th, 2020
2,409 posts
15.5 Years
I like LUA, from what I've seen in how it's used in Starbound!

Anyways, A small update I really haven't been able to keep up with a lot of things, and my emotions are really not going well...But I do start my job training next week. Hopefully have an income can help me breath a little better and structure my life a little more in the future.




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SirBoglor

It's over, isn't it?

Age 24
Male
National Park, Johto Region
Seen December 22nd, 2018
Posted January 3rd, 2018
528 posts
7.6 Years
Anyways, A small update I really haven't been able to keep up with a lot of things, and my emotions are really not going well...But I do start my job training next week. Hopefully have an income can help me breath a little better and structure my life a little more in the future.
Hang in there! Once your training begins, I bet that you'll feel much better. Plus, a little lift of financial burden may be just what you need to get back into the mix of things.

In regards to your emotions, did something happen? Or does anxiety seem to be picking on you a bit more than usual?

Nina

Age 31
Female
Arkansas
Seen December 20th, 2020
Posted December 7th, 2020
2,409 posts
15.5 Years
Hang in there! Once your training begins, I bet that you'll feel much better. Plus, a little lift of financial burden may be just what you need to get back into the mix of things.

In regards to your emotions, did something happen? Or does anxiety seem to be picking on you a bit more than usual?
It's just the stress of watching over my grandmother, starting this job, and now have to to reorganize all my dr appointments, as well as the fact I need to make more for other things (but now I will have to schedule around a job.) At the very least, the job ends before summer, so I can pick things back up there, but I still need to have regular chiropractic appointments and I didn't mention it to my employer as I should have.




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SirBoglor

It's over, isn't it?

Age 24
Male
National Park, Johto Region
Seen December 22nd, 2018
Posted January 3rd, 2018
528 posts
7.6 Years
It's just the stress of watching over my grandmother, starting this job, and now have to to reorganize all my dr appointments, as well as the fact I need to make more for other things (but now I will have to schedule around a job.) At the very least, the job ends before summer, so I can pick things back up there, but I still need to have regular chiropractic appointments and I didn't mention it to my employer as I should have.
I see. So it seems like you have an awful lot going on right now. One thing that helps me when I'm feeling overwhelmed by life in general is a simple breathing meditation. I just sit in a comfortable position, close my eyes, and breath in through the nose. While I'm doing so, I have my mind focus on my breathing and nothing else. Even as my thoughts are running all over the place, I try to bring focus to the breath. After 15 minutes or so, I usually feel much less stress, and I'm ready to tackle my issues with a lot of focus.

Perhaps this may help you too?

Nina

Age 31
Female
Arkansas
Seen December 20th, 2020
Posted December 7th, 2020
2,409 posts
15.5 Years
Well...

Thing have not been the greatest. I've dropped off on daily anything, and just been kinda low energy in everything. My training for my new job went well, but I immediately got sick afterwards and I'm just feeling very terrible in general. I guess I can always try to start anew for February! I do have a week or so until work starts again, but I have commission work I really need work on and appointments I need to make, just having a hard time getting motivation.




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Aquacorde

⟡ not everything is sink or swim ⟡

Age 29
she/her/he/him
Ankh-Morpork
Seen 7 Hours Ago
Posted March 15th, 2023
12,275 posts
18.9 Years
Aw that's alright tho! Circumstances like to get in the way of progress >:0 Maybe you could try focusing on smaller goals, or less often goals, and climb your way up to the bigger goals that way? Even your prerequisites are kind of big things tbh! Pick one or two tasks from each list to start with, and once those become a habit add more? I would recommend like to start-

- Take vitamins every day.
- Have 30 min dedicaded art time per day.
- exercise 15min 3x/week.
- cut [one junk food/drink] out of diet

And don't beat yourself up about not doing everything, or write off an entire week as a wash just bc you missed a day! Most of my goals are only met 5/7 days really, but that's okay because I still did them 5 days instead of zero days, you know?
marie & casey & rosey
groc x aquacorde x juno 4ever | rp is just collaborative writing
join rp: ultra sinnoh

SirBoglor

It's over, isn't it?

Age 24
Male
National Park, Johto Region
Seen December 22nd, 2018
Posted January 3rd, 2018
528 posts
7.6 Years
I think that what Anna said is a wonderful point. I really hope that you will consider it, it could be very helpful!

In the meantime, I hope that you know that we're here to support you through all of this. We definitely care about you, and are more than happy to help in any way that we can. If you ever feel the need to confide your feelings to anyone, no matter how unimportant or silly they may seem to you, don't be afraid to talk to someone about it. It can be me, Anna, Johnny, whoever you feel comfortable talking to. But it's important to release what's going on inside every once in a while, you know?

I'm saying this because I've been in the same boat as you lately. I just...dropped the ball, I guess. It really sucked, and I felt horrible about it. But when I spoke out my feelings to a close friend of mine, it simply made things better. That kind of emotional release really helped me out. Maybe it can help you out, too. I certainly hope so.

Anyways, hang in there! You got this.

Nina

Age 31
Female
Arkansas
Seen December 20th, 2020
Posted December 7th, 2020
2,409 posts
15.5 Years
Aw that's alright tho! Circumstances like to get in the way of progress >:0 Maybe you could try focusing on smaller goals, or less often goals, and climb your way up to the bigger goals that way? Even your prerequisites are kind of big things tbh! Pick one or two tasks from each list to start with, and once those become a habit add more? I would recommend like to start-

- Take vitamins every day.
- Have 30 min dedicaded art time per day.
- exercise 15min 3x/week.
- cut [one junk food/drink] out of diet

And don't beat yourself up about not doing everything, or write off an entire week as a wash just bc you missed a day! Most of my goals are only met 5/7 days really, but that's okay because I still did them 5 days instead of zero days, you know?
Johnny mentioned it as well, that I should start trying to allot a time for work specifically. I'm afraid I won't do it, but I guess I should attempt that at least, as well as exercising on off days. Thankfully (somehow) me being sick and snotty has knocked me off of having dr. pepper because I just need to drink tons of water to not be parched and dry in my throat, so I'm currently on drinking water only and road it out easily because my body feels terrible already! Pft, but that is something.

I think that what Anna said is a wonderful point. I really hope that you will consider it, it could be very helpful!

In the meantime, I hope that you know that we're here to support you through all of this. We definitely care about you, and are more than happy to help in any way that we can. If you ever feel the need to confide your feelings to anyone, no matter how unimportant or silly they may seem to you, don't be afraid to talk to someone about it. It can be me, Anna, Johnny, whoever you feel comfortable talking to. But it's important to release what's going on inside every once in a while, you know?

I'm saying this because I've been in the same boat as you lately. I just...dropped the ball, I guess. It really sucked, and I felt horrible about it. But when I spoke out my feelings to a close friend of mine, it simply made things better. That kind of emotional release really helped me out. Maybe it can help you out, too. I certainly hope so.

Anyways, hang in there! You got this.
Asking for help is something I struggle with, so I can't really take you up on your offer, but thank you for offering. I do feel a bit better after just being actually sick for awhile, weird way of release, but you know.

It's just coincidental, but since it's a new month I can feel good about starting a fresh month in my journal and reorganize my goals.




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Nina

Age 31
Female
Arkansas
Seen December 20th, 2020
Posted December 7th, 2020
2,409 posts
15.5 Years
Monday I went to my first real day of work, even if it was short.
Tuesday I went to psychical therapy (chiropractic)
Wednesday I went to a psychiatrist because I have issues and had a panic attack.
Thursday I will be going to my general care doctor to fulfill a prescription for anti-depressants.

I need to...rework my goals. To say the least.
She said every day she wanted me to write down "what did I do for myself today?". It's a pretty open ended question, so I'll roll with it I guess.




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Aquacorde

⟡ not everything is sink or swim ⟡

Age 29
she/her/he/him
Ankh-Morpork
Seen 7 Hours Ago
Posted March 15th, 2023
12,275 posts
18.9 Years
Ahh I did something like that, the "what did I do for myself" thing. I found it best to build off of my goals rather than just say "I did something that makes me feel good" because when I did that the list was full of like "i bingewatched a show" and "i ate ice cream" which. Yeah they make me feel good but are they actually good for me? haha nah.

So I made myself another list. "What things are good for me to do?" Eat a serving of vegetables. Exercise for 10min. Go for a walk/walk instead of drive. Spend some time outside. Read a book. Eat fruit instead of a processed dessert. Clean a room in the house. Organize something. Drink 32oz of water. Do some art- even just doodling. That kind of thing.

And once I've made that list, I pick something from there to put on my "what did I do for myself today?" list. Or do y'know, the popsicle stick method? Write a bunch of them on sticks and if you can't decide, or are bored, pull one out and do that.
marie & casey & rosey
groc x aquacorde x juno 4ever | rp is just collaborative writing
join rp: ultra sinnoh