2017 Turnaround!

Started by kyuubi93 February 1st, 2017 11:02 PM
  • 1009 views
  • 1 replies
Age 30
Male
Seen December 24th, 2018
Posted December 24th, 2018
217 posts
8.7 Years
We all have the power to turn ourselves around! Here is my story.

While last year shared it's fair share of good moments, it's safe to say that 2016 is a year we'd all like to forget for the most part. The year began on a down note for me, as my girlfriend at the time dumped me and admitted to cheating on me and lying about it. It sent me into a spiraling depression as another pin on the cork board of failed relationships. Fast forward a few months- I have a new vehicle (which I'm still paying off) and working a steady job. However, I ended up leaving the position to seek a new employer who paid better. Following this, there was a stream of months where it was difficult for me to hold a position anywhere without getting fired due to basically not being good enough (I was shooting for jobs outside of my experience field).

Needless to say between still attempting to get over the emotional trauma I experienced from a manipulative ex girlfriend and being unable to keep a job, my feelings of inadequacy kept piling up and my depression kept getting worse.

Eventually I managed to land a position working in a restaurant at a golf course. It was a nice job, but in the long run it worsened my depression. Due to working 12-13 days a row on a regular basis, I fell horribly short on "me-time" and wasn't able to take care of myself at all. My mental health took a horrible turn, my physical health became bad too. I asked them if they could change the schedule, but they refused to do so. I understand they had a business to run, but I know when I'm being taken advantage of. I left the job and never felt more right in my life, and I still don't regret the choice I made in leaving the job the way I did.

However, that being said, now I was unemployed, horribly depressed and didn't know what to do with myself. Even getting out of bed to get something to eat was a mission in its own. I felt worthless, like I was nothing, like I didn't deserve to be living and breathing.

Here's where I took my first step into the light: I forgot to mention that I am a rap artist as well, so of course my music took a hit too. It wasn't until I really wrote a good and powerful 2 verse / 2 hook song called Perception that I took my first step out of the darkness. Shortly after that, I began to make a number of positive changes in my life, such as:

Quitting cigarettes (after having been a smoker for 8 years)
Began exercising
Staying away from social media
Began eating better
Began meditating again
Slowing marijuana consumption down to only when I need it
Began reading again

Also, this past week, after TWO MONTHS of unemployment, I am proud to say that I am working man again, as I have found not one, but two jobs with complete and total control over my schedule. I'll be working close to 60 hours a week, but I have every Tuesday and Wednesday off as my weekend to recuperate. Now I'm making more money than I was at my last job, I have more control, integrity, and dignity.

In this entire process, my self esteem has boosted, as well as my confidence - two areas of my life where I've had issues. But I'm glad to say that I'm turning around and have been, one step and one day at a time by staying on my grind!

I guess the message that I wanna get through here is - if you're depressed like I was, unable to get out of bed, unable to eat, lacking any interest, motivation, or self esteem, I want you to know that not only are you not alone, but you can get out of it - even if you think you cant. One day and one step at a time, even if you're taking baby steps at first, you have the power within yourself to turn your life around and make the changes necessary to bring you closer to the life that you deserve to live.

You serious, bruh?
"Began reading again?" Like, books? Cuz, just quitting reading cold-turkey is not recommendable. XD

Anyway, your attempts at musical stardom are not good for me, to be honest, because anyone can tell you to keep at it, but the work is incredibly tough and sometimes you'll have to play a puppet. Unless you know someone in the business and can get a label, or start your own indie label. Bieber started with YouTube; try something like that. But still...

Anyway, while your words are encouraging, some of us aren't as equipped to overcome our situations. I won't get into my personal life, because you're just leaving depression and I can't forgive myself if my story sends you back in. XD But you still have quite a ways to go as well.

As much as you need the money, your best option is to keep the job you have instead of reaching out for a non-sure thing, since it's all in the risks. If you can find something better, then go for it. But only if you know you'll get it, then you can leave your current job if you want.

I've been through a break-up too, as bad as yours but I had nobody's hand to hold. Kinda had to get over it alone. XD;;;;; But you seem to be managing well enough. So, just try to be steady for now, nothing big, nothing new. And once you've saved up enough money, enough to drop on other things besides bills, try getting some recording equipment and starting small. Though it won't be a recording studio like all musicians want, just try a Guitar World, or even a bedroom with no outside sounds. This is the time you pay your dues. Try not to force the clock to go faster.