Alright, I need some advice guys.
So, I'm dating a girl. Everytime me and my workmates go out (she's also a workmate), I always inform her just in case she wants to. Most of the time she doesn't, really, but can you blame me for trying?
Well, yesterday. I was feeling pissed off about a lot of things. Like it's all piling on top of one another and she knows that. When it was time to leave work, I went home alone because she was supposed to go out with her high school friends. Little did I know that she went out with our workmates, because they apparently had a celebration. Now, I could let it slide if it happened really out of the whim. But, they all went in one car, drove off, and celebrated. This was around 5 pm to 8 pm. I only knew about it on 3 am when she posted pictures. And I'm fuming because I expected her to afford the same thing I do to her. Do I have the right to do so?
I see no reason for you not to express your disappointment that you weren't invited...calmly. Maybe others will disagree, but I personally do not think you have a "right" to expect anything like that, regardless of what your relationship status is. Especially if you did not say beforehand that you'd want to be invited to events like that. You invited her along because you wanted to; she never asked you to do that, and as you said, she often declined. It's an invitation, not an obligation to accept, or to return the favour in similar events.
It may be common sense to you that you'd want to be invited in such circumstances, and a lot of other people reading it might think the same, but people are not mind readers. Maybe there is a reason you weren't invited. If it's upsetting you, by all means talk to her about it and try to reconcile it, but there's no need to be hostile about it. Just say you would have liked to have gone along, and that you wouldn't mind being asked in the future. Maybe it was nothing to do with her; maybe one of your colleagues didn't want to invite you. I'm speaking through ignorance, because I don't know what your relationship with all your workmates is like, but it's just to illustrate my point: there could be many reasons she didn't invite you.
I guess there is a case for getting angry and being forceful, if you're THAT upset about it, because she won't know unless you tell her. Whether you think you can expect that consideration or not, I don't think you can expect her to know how you'd feel for being excluded, because as I say, people are not mind-readers, and what may seem obvious to you will not be obvious to everyone. But I don't think people owe others anything like that when they're in a relationship. If you want to be able to expect anything more than fidelity, if you want your actions to be repaid in kind, I think you need to set it out beforehand, not apply these conditions after the fact, when you're angry that they weren't met. It's not always as obvious as you think, and I would say if anything,
you owe
her a chance to explain before you fly off the handle, if that's how you want to deal with it.
Everyone expresses themselves differently, though. Just because she didn't invite you the same way you've been inviting her - if she really just didn't think of it, and that's all it is - doesn't mean she doesn't want to spend time with you. I mean, when you think about it, spending time with your workmates isn't all that romantic, is it? Maybe she'd rather spend time with you alone, and doesn't think it very important you spend time together with your workmates too - maybe that's why she didn't invite you. I'm just speculating. But if that was the case, she wouldn't have thought it'd upset you if you weren't invited at that time, if you see my point. Hell, if she knows you're pissed off and upset, maybe she even wants to give you space, or wouldn't have wanted you to feel more stressed and upset by forcing yourself to have fun at a celebration when you probably weren't in the mood. Maybe she was just thinking of you.
Lots of possible reasons. You're not so unreasonable as to be mad at her because she didn't act in the way you would expect her to, are you? You're probably just a little sensitive from the things going on and a little upset that she didn't anticipate what you would have wanted, right? Remember why you're with her in the first place. It's just a small thing really, and easily corrected for the future if you talk to her. Are you really fuming at her, or just in general?
Yeah. I'm probably typing too much. Just tell her, calmly, that you were upset by it, or would have liked to go too. Feel free to ignore me, but I thought I'd chip in.