Newbie Mistakes Alert:1. The script you posted is complied. Posting uncompiled scripts is easier to read, to edit and to help with.
I have uncompiled your script for you, please save all your scripts before putting them in your game and post the correct ones.
2. You should explain what type of script you're using, what's working and what's not.
Let's assume you're using an S Tile script, the green one in a-map.
If NOTHING works, including the text, that's most likely because your S Tile does not have a var.
To put it simply, when the player walks on the tile, the game checks if the var is equal to it's value. If it does, the script works, if it doesn't, it ignores them.
Search for a list of free variables for the ROM you're hacking, don't forget to set it in a different script to the correct value and then the script will work.
Other than that, the other possibility is that you've forgotten a waitmovement 0x0 line after the movement command.
3. Your movement commands don't make sense.
#raw 0x23
#raw 0xFE
Make the player only to stay on his spot and look left. It doesn't deny entry in any way as the player can just keep walking after the text is finished. Change them too, but you'll realize this after testing.
4. In the case you messed up, and your script is for some reason incorrect and you'd like to edit it:
DO NOT DIRECTLY EDIT THE SCRIPT FROM THE GAME
Take your uncompiled script, edit it and recompile it.
You're taking in more space, but it's worth it so you don't overwrite something and mess up your game.
If you're hacking Emerald, in the beginning of each script write "#freespace 0xFF" so you don't overwrite anything [in XSE].
If you're hacking Fire Red, stop and hack Emerald.
Sorry for the lack of pictures, I'm pretty lazy;
[as long as you're not too annoying] Come to PokeCommunity's Discord for further help, my current nickname is "Bliz But Better".Happy hacking.