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Pokémon Orse Academy

Started by aeternum November 16th, 2017 1:55 AM
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aeternum

Not Suitable For All Ages

Indiana
Seen 18 Hours Ago
Posted 2 Days Ago
13,230 posts
6.4 Years
In the Pokemon world, there is a single academy which year after year has consistently produced champion level trainers. Each of its graduates have moved on to become Gym Leaders, members of the Elite Four, or teachers for the academy itself. However, the school has come under criticism a number of times for its peculiar teaching methods and the way in which it treats the students who fail their exams.

Located in the Astia region, the academy known as Orse thrives within a lifeless desert. Every year, thousands of potential students flock to it from across every region in hopes of climbing its twin towers and earning the title of graduate. At entry, the students are divided into groups by the academys headmaster. These groups become the classes, and immediately go through a rigorous entry exam. For most hopefuls, this is their first and final step into the academy. For this reason, most of the inner workings of the academy are a mystery to the leaders of the Pokemon world.

----------------------

Floor 0

Wow Turs stared at the academy from atop a sand dune. Even from thousands of feet away, the building still struck him with an overwhelming sense of awe. Its twin towers rising high into the sky and then wrapping around each other as they tore through the clouds made his heart beat even faster. He fidgeted with his fingers as he tried to imagine what it was like to be inside something so extravagant.

The boy fixed his thawb and wrapped the keffiyeh around his face as he stepped down from the dune. A plane soared overhead, presumably carrying a number of other potential students. Turs' smile widened, wondering what kind of people hed end up having classes with. His mother had attended the academy for two years when she was younger, but never spoke much about it, only commenting on the experiences she gained as a cook from being around so many different people. Turs broke out into a sprint once he reached the bottom of the dune, hoping to make it to the academy before too many others had arrived.

After about ten minutes, the boy had arrived at the entrance to the academy. Hundreds of people from all regions and of all ages were already crowding around the doorway which they were supposed to enter. A handful of beefy guards stood with their arms crossed and a resigned look upon their faces. Turs tried jumping to get a better view of what was holding the line up, but with such a surprising number of adults around waiting to take their entrance exam as well it turned out to be a futile attempt.

Several more minutes passed, and with it two more planes and several buses arrived. Each vehicle was filled to the brim with even more hopefuls which spilled out into the sea of sand, unsure of their footing and mostly undressed for such a climate. The wind brushed up the fine grains into mouths, eyes and various carry-on bags and caused many of them to cough and shy away from the assault.

Well then, if thats the last of em... A cane rose quickly into the air from the center of the swarm of hopeful students which had surrounded the door to the academy. A man slowly rose along with it, splitting the sea of men and women as a platform lifted him higher into the sky. Hurry on then! The man waved his cane at the people still piling out of the planes and buses. Really now. What a waste of anyways. Welcome! Just look at all of you hopeful students! I know we dont have any sort of age restrictions here, but I can see that some of you are even older than myself! Isnt that something?

The man chuckled lightly, but received no such response from the rest of the crowd. Turs quickly looked around him, just now realizing that there were actually a handful of people who seemed to be old enough to be considered grandparents. If there really was no age limit, Turs wondered if he wouldnt eventually find a student that was even younger than himself.

Now that Ive all of your attention, let me introduce myself. I am the Headmaster here at Orse Academy, Netrel Orse II. My father built this academy and died during its construction, but had hoped that one day it would become the greatest, most prestigious Pokemon trainer school in all of the world. I believe, that if he were still here today he would find that his dreams had indeed been realized. The only proof Id need, is all of you here today just waiting to get your chance.

The Headmaster waved his cane around, motioning to all of the hopeful students in attendance. Turs smile grew as he watched the man turn, hoping that hed notice the young boy out of the sea of applicants. However, before Netrel Orses body had fully turned towards young Turs, he continued on with his speech and repositioned himself in front of the denser section of the swarm. But even if the Headmasters eyes hadnt fallen on him, Turs couldnt shake the feeling that he was being watched by someone.

Now, I know that youre all likely tired and hoping to move on with the application process so you can get out of those sandblasted clothes of yours, but if you dont mind Id like to address a few things before I grant you all entry. First off, I can see that the majority of you have brought your own Pokemon from home. I am glad to see that you all have managed to capture your first Pokemon and made your first friend, or friends in some cases, that will carry you on throughout your life. However, in Orse Academy we wont be battling with living Pokemon. When you first enter the building to my right, youll be confronted by a number of Nurse Joys who will mark your pokeballs and keep them safe for you until the time which you must leave the academy for whatever reason.

Whispers passed through the crowd as the Headmaster spoke. The announcement had completely thrown them all off guard. If they werent going to battle with the Pokemon that theyd brought with them, then what would they be doing?

Now have no fear, my friends. Your Pokemon will be kept in a secure, underground location. Its so secure in fact, that even if the towers themselves were to fall, and all of you were to die, your Pokemon would still be healthy and safe in their underground containment park until workers could come and clear the debris away from the location.

Netrel continued to smile, as if nothing hed said had been wrong or shocking in any way. Some of the people around Turs however, were slowly building up the courage to voice their opinions. One such voice, broke out over the rest.

Hey, thats not right what do you mean if the towers collapsed? Thats not thats not something that could happen, is it?

Oh, but of course my children. At any point in time, both of these towers could fall into each other, destroying hundreds of floors which are home to thousands of students, staff, and Pokemon alike. These buildings are not connected to anything on the ground, nor are they technically structurally sound. These pillars which breach the sky, and measure in as the tallest and second tallest buildings in the world, are held together by a team of Psychic Pokemon who work around the clock to ensure your safety as students.

But thats thats so cruel how could you force Pokemon to do something like that endlessly?

Oh? Hear you me. What we offer here at Orse Academy is certainly not for all trainers. If you do not wish to attend, then you are more than welcome to wait on the bus or plane in which you arrived. In roughly two hours, our entrance exam will have concluded and all of those who have been denied access to our full curriculum shall join you on your travels back to whichever city, town or region from which you came.

But that has nothing to do with what I-

We here at Orse Academy believe that all Pokemon and people are created exactly the same. While we do have a large amount of Psychic Pokemon under our employ, we also have an even larger number of human staff here to look after both our students and those Pokemons health and wellbeing. We have a large and ever-growing R&D department which since our founding has been searching for a way to make our Academy and soon, the rest of the world that much less dependent on Pokemon labor. Now, do you have any other questions or can I continue on with my announcements?

The whispers slowly subsided, but were replaced with muffled curses directed at the Headmaster, who couldnt have looked like he cared any less about them.

Now, moving on to the second announcement. Once you enter the building and give your Pokemon to Nurse Joy, you will be broken down into eight groups by a range of ages. To the farthest left, ages one through twelve will line up. Then, there will be twelve to fourteen. Followed by fifteen to seventeen, eighteen, nineteen to twenty-five, twenty-six to thirty, thirty-one to forty-five, and finally everyone forty-six and over will make up the group on the farthest right. Each group will then enter the rooms in front of which theyve been arranged, and then split two more times. First, theyll be split by gender, and then again by whether or not theyre native to the Astia region. This is all to ensure that we have a proper mixture within our students and prove that we show no bias based on region, age, or gender.

The Headmaster tapped his cane on the edge of the platform which he was standing, causing it to slowly retreat back into the sand-covered ground from which it had come.

Now then, one - technically two - final things. After youve been broken down into these groups, youll be given a number starting with zero. The entrance exam in which youll be participating will be a practical exam, so these numbers as you may have guessed will be to determine where you will go in a matchup. And with that, the doors to the academy are now open! Please, move single file into the reception area and then follow the instructions of the Joys as they direct you to the proper line.

Turs watched as the Headmaster disappeared once more into the crowd of hopeful students. Something about what the man had said made the boy scratch his head. The boy looked around him at the shifting sea of people and tugged on the hand of the first adult that he saw. Um, excuse me, sir but he said that we couldnt take our Pokemon into the Academy with us, right? And that we wouldnt be using live Pokemon at all?

The man looked down, confused. Uh, yuh. Whydya ask?

Well, if the entry exam is supposed to be a practical exam then what does that exactly mean?

Well, a practical exam is sposedt be a measure of yer actual skills. But for a practical Pokemon exam without the Pokemon heck, I dunno. Thats a real head scratcher, aint it? Guess well just haveta wait n see.

Turs nodded his head, letting go of the mans hand. The boy pulled the keffiyeh from his head and ran his hand through his braided hair, twirling one of the braids around his finger as he thought. Guess we will just have to see then, huh? Turs took a few steps forward, falling into the line as he awaited his turn.

aeternum

Not Suitable For All Ages

Indiana
Seen 18 Hours Ago
Posted 2 Days Ago
13,230 posts
6.4 Years
Floor 0 - cont

The line moved quickly, with someone going through the entrance almost every second. It took nearly half an hour, but finally Turs had reached the doors to the academy. The boy looked up into the sky, watching as the twin towers slowly and subtly inched towards the ground only to float back up. It was only now that he realized the towers werent actually connected in any way to the building they were entering, which made him wonder what the purpose of the reception area actually was. As Turs walked through the front door, he was assaulted by an overpowering peppermint scent which was accompanied by three Nurse Joys.

The first of the Joys, who wore a blue ribbon around her waist, smiled at the boy and held out an open case. The case was rather elegant, with a cushioned, red velvet lining on the interior which had six distinct indentations in it just the right size for pokeballs.

Turs smiled and shook his head. Sorry, I dont have any Pokemon.

The Joy looked at him, confused. But werent you one of the travelers who arrived by foot? Surely your mother wouldnt have let you leave the house without protection.

No, she did. She told me that if I wanted to get into this school, then Id need to learn to rely on myself first rather than Pokemon.

My, what a smart woman. The Joy smiled. She sounds like she has a good head on her shoulders.

Yeah she does. She actually came to study at the academy before I was born! She used to be a really strong trainer at least I guess she did, if she came here to learn about Pokemon. She never really talks about it much though.

Oh? So shes an alumnus? I didnt know we had anyone coming today who had inherited such talent. If you dont mind my asking, what was her name?

Natalia. Natalia Prest. The Headmaster walked up from behind Turs and put his hand on the boys shoulder. Youve got your mothers eyes, my boy.

The Nurse whod been attending to Turs quickly stiffened up, correcting her posture in the process. Headmaster, sir. I didnt see you there. Im very sorry about holding up the line and your exams.

No worries, Carrie. Go ahead and look up his mother. You wont find her in the list of graduates though no matter how much she should have been there.

The Nurse raised her eyebrow at Netrel, then proceeded to pull a tablet out of her apron. After a few taps of the screen, shed brought up the student database. Search for Natalie Prest.

After a few seconds, the tablet responded to Carries request. Searching for student Natalie Prest. File on student Natalie Prest is available.

The Nurse Joy took a few minutes and scrolled through the file, taking every detail of the file. With each flick of her finger, her eyes grew wider at what she read within it. But this is she should have-

She should have graduated, that much is for certain. If she had, then she could have been at the top of her class and even gone on to become one of the academys greatest achievements. However, she dropped out at the fiftieth floor not even a quarter of the way through the program the headmaster clenched the head of his cane as he bit his lip. But, she fell in love with another student from the Kalos region and left the academy after finishing the foreign cuisine classes which we had to offer. I never did find out what happened to her after she left the academy, but seeing you here today the headmasters eyes pierced Turs, causing the boy to take a step back as he felt his head grow dizzy. I see that she turned out just fine. Did you perhaps come here to finish what she chose not to?

I Turs rubbed at his forehead and took deep breaths as he tried to calm himself. My mom never really talked about the academy that much. She told me stories about all the different kinds of students and about the various foods that she learned how to make, but never anything about the actual Pokemon aspect of the academy. When I finally told her I wanted to become a Pokemon trainer, though, she insisted that I come here. So. I guess it must not have been too bad for her, huh? Turs smiled wide at the headmaster.

Hmph. Well. Netrel turned his back on Turs. Make it through the entrance exam, and perhaps well talk more. For now, go ahead and join your line. You should be what, fifteen by now?

No, Im actually thirteen. I just turned a few weeks ago.

My, my. She really didnt waste any time with that foreigner, did she? Not that it matters now. The headmaster sighed as he took a step forward. Very well then. Take your place in the second line and let us move on with the examination.

Turs nodded, still completely unsure of what kind of relationship Netrel had had with his mother. Turs looked at the Nurse whod been initially taking care of him and bowed slightly. Thank you, Carrie.

The woman look flustered, but quickly put away the tablet and then bowed her head in response. I look forward to seeing you again, Mr. Prest.

Turs walked forward and took his place at the very end of the second line. To the line left of him was a hodgepodge of people all running around aimlessly with the few hopeful students who were eleven or twelve sat on the ground with their faces in their palms, wishing that they could be anywhere else but for the line filled with toddlers and what were undeniably the rest of the loudest people in the room. To Turs surprise there were actually, a lot of really young kids in the line next to him. A few of the hopefuls beside him were even still struggling to walk properly. The boy could hardly comprehend what kind of parent would send such a young child to someone as big as this. Any one of these strangers could easily grab the kids and walk off without notice.

The boy shook his head, and waited patiently. Several more minutes passed before the guards which had been waiting outside when he arrived, eventually made their ways into the waiting room and pulled the doors close. As soon as they did so, and had re-crossed their arms to look more menacing, the Headmaster reared his head once more.

With all of the hopefuls now accounted for, the man called the guards over and began to push everyone through the hallways down to their respective testing rooms. The line which Turs was in seemed to turn ever so slightly, but unless you were looking at the overhead lights you wouldnt have been able to tell at all. Eventually, after nearly five minutes of walking, the line dispersed and spread out through a rather spacious area. Turs settled in by leaning against the wall directly beside where hed entered the room, and awaited the person who was going to conduct the second set of splits.

He didnt have to wait for long though, since only seconds after he found a comfortable position against the wall, a doorway appeared across the room. A woman appeared from the shadowy hall across from Turs. She was most definitely a staff member, and likely the one that was supposed to conduct their test, but her overall appearance could have lead to her being mistaken for just another student if she hadnt entered the room separate from everyone else.

The woman had pasty white skin and cherry red hair which was drawn up in twin tails on the side of her head. She had freckles spread across her face, but they were mostly covered by the glasses which continued to slip down to the tip of her nose - causing her to promptly and continuously press them back up with her index finger. She wore tight, black jeans and a loose-fitting tank top which was covered with an unbuttoned suit jacket. Her outfit was certainly showy enough to attract attention to herself, but that was most likely done intentionally due to the fact that when she finally made her way to the center of the room, she was shorter than most of the other people in the room.

With a mighty cough, and a clap of her hands, the woman gathered the entire rooms attention to herself. Well! Im glad to see we have so many hopeful students in the room today! Certainly a much better turnout than last year.

A few of the older kids in the room started to whisper between themselves. They whispered mean, evil things about the woman. Things that should never, ever be repeated - especially not to the girl herself whose ears perked up as she caught the tail ends of the various conversations. Her face turned bright red as she tapped her foot against the floor, causing a small platform to lift her up into the air much like the Headmaster had done earlier in the day.

I will not tolerate such language out of my students. I would kindly ask that you leave on your own, otherwise Ill be forced to have you escorted out.

A few of the male students scoffed. Really? Youll force us to leave? Or, you know, we could always just lift you up into the air, yknow? Youre not any bigger than my little sister, and I would lift her into the air every day while we played.

The womans eyes set themselves on the boys whod gathered together and were moving quickly towards the platform.

Let me tell you something. Here at the academy, we have many, many different curriculum. Sure, every student whos accepted will undergo Pokemon trainer preparedness classes, but theres also a curriculum specially devised for every single student so that they can learn at the optimal pace for themselves and forego any unnecessary classes. If theres a student which is a master chef, theyll test out of any culinary classes. And now, while you can test out of certain classes, you can also test in to others. For instance, a powerful psychic-type trainer once attended this school. Shed spent so much time training with Psychic-types and living with Psychic-types, that she actually developed ESP herself. When she finally came to join our school, we hired an ESP specialist and allowed her to grow into those powers at her own pace until she had completely mastered them and devised ways to utilize them in other aspects of her life.

The boys had surrounded her podium and were laughing as they began to shake it. And? Whats that got to do with anything?

The woman smiled and then pointed at one of the boys. With a snap of her fingers, a small, concentrated stream of water erupted from her index finger and soaked the boy. The boy looked at her, dumbfounded as he slowly backed away, shielding his face from any more water.

Psychic-types arent the only ones who can influence their trainers. When you eventually manage to become one with your Pokemon and can thrive in the same environment as them, you too might be able to evolve yourself in a similar fashion as that one student. Every type of Pokemon has the potential to create specialists with powers based on those Pokemon types, and all of them have various practical and entertainment based uses. However, not every trainer has the capacity to evolve. This type of human evolution is seen by many as sacrilege or blasphemous to our Creator. A lot of people have argued over the past twenty years that specialists should be seen as less than human, and sometimes even less than Pokemon since we cant even use abilities we have in common with them to the same scale. But, all thats for another time. Perhaps a type of ethics class down the road.

The boys whod been teasing the woman before quickly gathered their things and rushed towards the door with fear struck across their faces. I aint dealin with none of this! I just wanted to become a better Trainer! This is just witchcraft and nonsense! Ill be telling my parents all about this academy!

Oh, I hope you do, children. Its not as if were not already under scrutiny from a number of parties or anything. The woman sighed, rubbing at her temples. Im definitely gonna get ate out for this but anyways, now that those distractions are out of the way, what do you all say we move on to the next step? Go ahead and divide yourselves in half by whether youre a boy or girl.

One of the girls in the back of the room slowly began to raise her hand, but the woman quickly waved it down.

Whatever you were born as is what Im talking about, obviously. Lets not make this any more complicated than need be. Its just a simple division, nothing too important so dont make a big deal out of it.

The girl lowered her hand and started pouting as she made her way over to the girls side of the room. Turs didnt understand what was going on, but he knew he was born a boy so he quickly walked over to his side of the room and leaned up against the wall again, finding that sweet spot of maximum comfort.

Good, now that were all divided, divide again based on whether or not you actually live in the Astia region. We should have a total of four groups by the end of it, so just shove yourselves into the corners of the room and try to make it work.

Turs looked around the room for people who were clearly not dressed for Astian weather and then moved to the opposite corner from them. After several, confusion filled minutes had passed, the room had been divided once more and all four corners were filled. By the end, the boy found himself to be the only one in his corner of the room. All but one of the girls had herded together in what was clearly the non-native group, and the boys had all followed suit with Turs being the only outcast.

Well, well. Only two natives in the whole room? Thats entirely unexpected, but I suppose you should call that a lucky break. Now that were all split up, I suppose we should get on with the exam before the Headmaster comes in for the finale. Everyone, make a line and step forward. The native boy and girl will both be number 0, and will be matched up in the finale - lucky break, right? Everyone else will take a number and a tablet, starting from 0. On the back of your number card, youll find a Trainer ID. These are how we conduct battle exams here at the academy. When your number is called, youll press your Trainer ID against the tablet and register both Pokemon and items.

Items? Turs looked down at the card in his hand. The Trainer ID had six boxes under the number zero which were filled with a question mark, and five strange symbols. Are those what these symbols are?

The woman nodded. Here at the academy, we dont use living Pokemon. Instead, we make virtual Pokemon and bring them into our reality. The items which are shown on your card are programs which your Pokemon can run and use to transform, heal or strengthen themselves among many other things. The question mark represents the Pokemon that youll be using. The Pokemon youll be using today are drawn from a randomized pool the second that you scan your card, and immediately de-activate after fifteen minutes. This is just a safety measure to ensure that our technology isnt stolen. When you actually get into the academy, the Trainer ID will function slightly different.

I see Turs stared at the question mark and then ran his thumb across the boxed symbols, wondering what they might be.

As I said, since theres only two native Astians, theyll receive byes until the semi-finals. At that point, the headmaster will join our group and grade each of your performances personally. If any of you fail to make it to the semi-finals, you will be automatically rejected from our program and sent back to your plane or bus. Only once you reach the semi-finals do you have any hope of joining the academy - hence why I said that those natives are lucky. Now, what do you say we get down to the practical exams for the rest of you?

Cavespider_17

Charlie

Female
U.K or D.K depending on where you politically stand.
Seen August 9th, 2018
Posted August 9th, 2018
60 posts
2.1 Years
Floor 0 Review.

Corrections/suggestions
Spoiler:

Grammar
"thrives within a lifeless desert."
It doesn't quite fit. I cannot put my finger on why, but it makes me think of plants and cacti due to the desert. Maybe "thrives in creating a perfect academic environment within a lifeless desert." would sound better.

"At entry, the students are divided".
This doesn't sound right. Do you mean at the entrance? Or upon entering the exam? "At the entrance" or "Upon entering" would sound much better.

"For most hopefuls, this is their first and final step into the academy."
Grammatically you can ditch the comma. It isn't required.

"Turs smiled wide"
"Turs' smile widened" is grammatically correct.

"Orse Academy; Netrel Orse II"
Incorrect use of ;

"Trainer"
It should be trainer.

"the more dense"
This should be denser.

"But even " Conjunctives do not belong at the start of sentences. Only use this technique seldomly.


"While we do have a large amount of Psychic Pokemon under our employ"
Sounds grammatically awkward "While we employ large amount of Psychic Pokemon " makes much more sense.


Spelling
"of the see of applicants."
It should be sea.

"or plain in"
It should be plane.

"man had sad made the"
It should be said.

Suggestions
"In the Pokemon world, there is a single academy which year after year has consistently produced champion level trainers"

Sorry if this is a little picky but this comes across way to strong in my opinion and it is too easy to falsify. All it would take is for the academy to fail to produce a champion level trainer, or for another academy to consistently produce champion level trainers. You may want to reword it slightly, or provide evidence or comparison. However, without knowing the laws of this world I may be too quick to jump on this.

"Each of its graduates have moved on to become Gym Leaders, members of the Elite Four, or teachers for the academy itself."
This doesn't read as well as it could. It would be better to say: The students who graduated nearly always became Gym leaders, members of the Elite Four or teachers for the academy itself.

"into groups by the academys headmaster. These groups become the classes, and immediately go through a rigorous entry exam. "
You can cut a whole sentence there, you are repeating yourself a little. If you wanted to cut down on words and improve the flow you could say "into classes by the academys headmaster , and immediately go through a rigorous entry exam."

"For this reason, most of the inner workings of the academy are a mystery to the leaders of the Pokemon world. "
This sentence is very out of context. Why does this cause the workings to be a secret? Explain further to assist your lore.

"Hundreds of people from all regions and of all ages crowded around the doorway which they were supposed to enter. "
Contradiction to your earlier statement. "Hundreds of people from all regions and of all ages were already crowding around the doorway through which they were supposed to enter. " This is a simple fix.




Great stuff
Spoiler:

"climbing its twin towers",
nice use of alliteration, creates a wonderful scene in the desert. :)
"Its twin towers rising high into the sky and then wrapping around each other as they tore through the clouds made his heart beat even faster. "
Fantastic description. This really paints the scene. :)
A handful of beefy guards stood with their arms crossed and a resigned look upon their faces. Great really adds to the Atmosphere

But even if the Headmasters eyes hadnt fallen on him, Turs couldnt shake the feeling that he was being watched by someone.
I like this. It gives a creepy vibe.

"Hey, thats not right what do you mean if the towers collapsed? Thats not thats not something that could happen, is it?

Oh, but of course my children. ""

I love this guy. He gives off a creepy sinister vibe.

The whispers slowly subsided, but were replaced with muffled curses directed at the Headmaster, who couldnt have looked like he cared any less about them.
I am already starting to get attached to this character. His small actions create a large picture of who he is, what he is like and what he might be plotting.



Summary
Spoiler:
  • Overall great job building up a scene.
  • I love the Headmaster's character already. You have said a lot, without saying very much.
  • There is a lack of character description in places which makes it hard to place the character in the scenario.
  • Double check spelling and grammar. Sometimes reading something out helps detect when something doesn't quite sound right.


:)
"Even the sturdiest ship can sink if it is built with ignorance" - Aaron Piscar (Fictional Character)
Coltar:
Read the Fiction, Play the Game

aeternum

Not Suitable For All Ages

Indiana
Seen 18 Hours Ago
Posted 2 Days Ago
13,230 posts
6.4 Years
.
"thrives within a lifeless desert."
It doesn't quite fit. I cannot put my finger on why, but it makes me think of plants and cacti due to the desert. Maybe "thrives in creating a perfect academic environment within a lifeless desert." would sound better.
I think I like the idea of referring to the academy as a living entity thriving within the harshness of the desert, at least, for now. That may change eventually, but the mystery it provides in my own mind for what might be to come intrigues me.

"At entry, the students are divided".
This doesn't sound right. Do you mean at the entrance? Or upon entering the exam? "At the entrance" or "Upon entering" would sound much better.

"Turs smiled wide"
"Turs' smile widened" is grammatically correct.

"Orse Academy; Netrel Orse II"
Incorrect use of ;

"the more dense"
This should be denser.

"of the see of applicants."
It should be sea.

"or plain in"
It should be plane.

"man had sad made the"
It should be said.

"Hundreds of people from all regions and of all ages crowded around the doorway which they were supposed to enter. "
Contradiction to your earlier statement. "Hundreds of people from all regions and of all ages were already crowding around the doorway through which they were supposed to enter. " This is a simple fix.
Change is incoming.

"Trainer"
It should be trainer.
I could be wrong but if it's a title shouldn't it be capitalized? Like Pokemon Trainer, Pokemon Ranger, Gym Leader, etc. are all capitalized since they're job titles. Or maybe I just imagined it. It actually happens to me more often than I'd like to admit haha.

"While we do have a large amount of Psychic Pokemon under our employ"
Sounds grammatically awkward "While we employ large amount of Psychic Pokemon " makes much more sense.
Just mark it up to the way that he likes to talk :P

"In the Pokemon world, there is a single academy which year after year has consistently produced champion level trainers"

"Each of its graduates have moved on to become Gym Leaders, members of the Elite Four, or teachers for the academy itself."


Sorry if this is a little picky but this comes across way to strong in my opinion and it is too easy to falsify. All it would take is for the academy to fail to produce a champion level trainer, or for another academy to consistently produce champion level trainers. You may want to reword it slightly, or provide evidence or comparison. However, without knowing the laws of this world I may be too quick to jump on this.
In what's left of Floor 0 and then also Floor 1, more will be explained on why exactly this academy in particular is so consistent in producing such high caliber trainers. The fact of the matter is, no matter what happens - each graduating class will 100% always contain a trainer who checks at least one of those boxes, but more often than not will be more than qualified for them all and it's just a matter of what they actually want to do with their lives.

"For this reason, most of the inner workings of the academy are a mystery to the leaders of the Pokemon world. "
This sentence is very out of context. Why does this cause the workings to be a secret? Explain further to assist your lore.
I'd like to now, but need to save it lest I spoil things later on.

The whispers slowly subsided, but were replaced with muffled curses directed at the Headmaster, who couldnt have looked like he cared any less about them.
I am already starting to get attached to this character. His small actions create a large picture of who he is, what he is like and what he might be plotting.


As much as I don't care for it, I'm inclined to say that some amount of his character is based off of Ozpin from RWBY.

[*] There is a lack of character description in places which makes it hard to place the character in the scenario.
I understand what you're getting at, but I didn't feel like it was necessary to describe a character only for them to be tossed away in the next two posts and never used again. I will admit that I should have probably added some sort of detail to them so as to give a face to a voice, but I think it works in the context since it literally is just a voice coming up from a clustered crowd of thousands.

Thanks for your input :)

aeternum

Not Suitable For All Ages

Indiana
Seen 18 Hours Ago
Posted 2 Days Ago
13,230 posts
6.4 Years
Floor 0 - End

It seemed as if the tests had taken days to end. Dozens of battles had taken place, and an even greater number of explanations about the card-based system occurred over, and over again. To Turs, it felt as if he would never be allowed to step foot in the school at this point. The native Astian next to him had fallen asleep as a way to pass the time. The boy had tried to speak to her a couple of times throughout the matches, but was quickly brushed off. She seemed a bit stuck up, if he were to be honest.

“Finally, the time has come to commence the Semi-Final match-ups. The bracket will be as follows; the two boys shall fight, followed by the two girls. All shall be wound up by a battle of the sexes to see who shall become one of this year’s select few. In just a moment, the headmaster will enter this room. At which point, you will be expected to commence your battles promptly and waste no time in completing them. The headmaster has a great many other tasks to see to, so try your best not to waste his time today.”

Turs nodded, recalling earlier in the day when the red-headed lady shot water from his hands. If that was just a harmless demonstration to set straight some kids, he’d hate to see what she’d do if he made the headmaster upset. The boy walked to the center of the room and shook hands with the boy standing across from him. Turs had watched the boy battle through various matches, and had more or less been able to figure out how he was going to fight him. The only problem was, Turs had no idea what his Pokemon was going to be. His opponent had been using the same one all day, so they both knew all of its strengths and weaknesses. For Turs however, with this being his first time in the arena he was at a clear disadvantage, despite the various things in his favor.

The headmaster walked quietly into the room and took up a position opposite of the instructor. His eyes met with hers, and then slowly drifted to Turs, where they would stay for the entirety of the match. The instructor snapped her fingers, and as she did, both student hopefuls pressed their identification cards against their tablets.

“Keeper, activated. Identification, confirmed. Welcome, Turs Prest.” The robotic voice spit out its pre-programmed lines at him, filling in the blanks with what personal information they’d gathered. “Activity gauged. Courses, indeterminate. Abilities, calculated. Initiate battle protocol. Searching for opponent. Opponent found. Rendering battlefield. Battlefield rendered. Calculating probabilities. Probabilities calculated. Searching. Searching. Pokemon found. Items, generated. You may begin the battle when ready.”

The boy’s opponent wasted no time in pressing his finger against his tablet. From the camera, a small light appeared and slowly created the outline of his randomly selected Pokemon. From the ground, ceiling and walls all around the two, microscopic particles swarmed to the outlined Pokemon and began to materialize it as they fed on the light. After only a few seconds, the outlined skeleton had been transformed into a Croagunk.

Turs quickly followed suit, and after a few seconds was now standing behind a Croagunk as well. What were the odds that two battlers would face off against each other with the same Pokemon? There had to be some sort of catch, Turs was sure of it.

“You must be thinking that something fishy is going on. I assure you, whatever Pokemon is chosen for you is for your own benefit as a trainer.” The headmaster smiled as he spoke. His voice was smooth, almost calming. If not for the interaction that they’d had earlier in the day, Turs may have even been put at ease by the headmaster’s words. “We survey hopeful candidates for up to three years prior to their journey to our facility so that we can properly gauge their abilities before they ever arrive. Many are turned down by our admissions office before ever even coming to the academy itself. When these Pokemon are randomly generated, the keepers - your tablets - take into consideration everything around you as well as everything within your file. I will assure you at least, that as far as your Pokemon go they are perfect copies of each other. Their DNA is exact, their moves, EVs, IVs, thoughts, feelings, everything that makes them who they are at this moment is the exact same. It is your job to figure out at this moment exactly what it is that sets you apart from your opponent, Wex, before you lose this battle. And don’t forget, you must win in order to advance further into the academy. So you’d best be quick on the uptake.”

Turs’ eyes flashed over to the headmaster who pulled his own keeper closer to his chest. Whatever it was that was going on now, the boy sure wouldn’t get any answers in the moment. If he wanted to learn anything about himself, the headmaster or his mother, he’d have to gain entry to the academy and pursue the knowledge from within. And for that, he’d have to win. Turs stared at Wex, and then lowered his eyes to his keeper. The six boxes had filled themselves now, but only one contained a Pokemon - which had already been materialized into battle. The other five boxes held items, some of which he knew, but others seem obscure and random. S.P. Dropler, an Oran Berry, a Figi Berry, a Wiscon Berry, and the strangest of all was the last item - MK-1-6-343-2.1.

“Sir, if you don’t mind my asking-”

“The battle has commenced.” Turs’ keeper chimed in, cutting the boy off. “Outside help is not permitted at this time.”

“Quit stallin’ kid. I been battlin’ all day already. I just really want to take a bath and relax, y’know? But I can’t do that, if you don’t fight me. So… like, let’s move it along, alright?” Wex’s mouth was moving, but his body was speaking in opposites. The boy was making use of the diversion to take off his sweatshirt, revealing a stained white tank top which was drenched in sweat.

Turs shook his head and winced, happy that he wasn’t any closer to his opponent. The mere act of him taking off his sweatshirt allowed some of the stench to waft in Turs’ direction, but not enough so that it would linger. If it did, the boy would have been sure to have been disqualified as he’d have to have been rushed to the bathroom lest he dirty the entire room with his vomit.

“Fine. We’ll fight.” Turs checked Croagunk’s card, just to be sure that it was an exact replica of his opponents. From the information he’d gathered throughout the day… everything seemed to be in order. “Croagunk, use Poison Jab!”

The Pokemon lunged forward, its digits covered in and secreting a purple liquid. Wex’s Croagunk dodged consecutive jabs, leaning in the direction opposite of each attack. The Pokemon were completely in sync, making the exchange seem more like a well choreographed dance than anything else. Droplets of the poison fell to the ground and splattered upwards, causing both Pokemon to spin on their heels as they avoided the spray.

The liquid disappeared from the Pokemon’s hand, only to have it appear upon it’s opponent’s. The exchange replicated itself, only with Turs’ version of the Pokemon dancing around the strikes with duplicated moves, causing it appear as if the battle were now being played in reverse. As the liquid poison dropped to the ground near the end of the dance - just as it had before - the Pokemon put distance between themselves, falling back to their initial positions.

“Tch.” Wex lifted his keeper to cover his face, knowing full well that if the battle continued in this way, both participants would likely be thrown out. The boy searched his screen, his eyes flicking over it to stare down his opponent, Turs, every so often. “It’s unfair for us to be battling this way. You know my hand, and even hold one of my cards… yet, I know nothing of you. My items, my Pokemon, my style of fighting… you’ve had the time to prepare and to gauge my strengths. I have nothing that will change the outcome of this battle.”

The boy pressed his finger against his keeper and raised his hands. The particles around his Croagunk began to shift as its form dissolved. Its body returned to the walls, floor and ceiling from which it had come, and its outline was returned to the keeper’s camera.

“I withdraw. No matter how good of a battler I may be, there is nothing I could do to defeat you. I hope your next battle will be more fulfilling to both watch and participate in.” Wex handed his keeper to the red-haired woman and then stepped down from the stage. The boy bowed his head to the headmaster, and then exited the room in silence.

Netrel was visibly irritated. The headmaster tapped his foot against the floor and then motioned with his hand for Turs to exit the stage as well. “Move along with the matches.”

The boy tapped the Croagunk’s card on his keeper and stepped down from the stage. As Turs began to walk back to his corner of the room, he noticed that headmaster Orse was staring directly at him with his finger pointed at the ground by his side. The man didn’t say a word, but his expression told Turs that he was meant to come. The boy obeyed, and quickly took his standing position next to the headmaster.

“You may begin when ready,” the man said lazily to no one in particular. The two girls who were left in the room tapped their keepers, causing the startup sequence to initiate. The headmaster, however, completely ignored them, keeping the whole of his attention on Turs. “Tell me, boy: what would you have done in that battle should it have gone on?”

Turs watched as the outlines of two Pokemon began to appear on the stage and then looked down at his own keeper, grabbing onto it with both hands as he stared at his cards. “I’m not sure. I’d likely have made use of the items I was provided.”

“How?”

“Well… I’m not sure. There’s one item in particular, which I’ve no knowledge of. Looking at the others, I can at least guess at what they could be, but... “

“And what item is it?”

“I… it says it’s called ‘MK-1-6-343-2.1, sir.”

The headmaster lifted his head and parted his lips slightly as his eyebrows raised. He was making no attempt to at least appear as if he were paying attention to the girls’ match. “Ah. I see. And… you’ve no idea whatsoever what that item could be?”

Turs shook his head. “No, sir. That was my first battle today, so I’ve had no chance to utilize it as of yet.”

“I see.” The headmaster pulled his right leg up into his lap and laid it across his knee. Netrel ran his thumb and forefinger across his lip, picking at a bit of loose skin as he pondered something. “So, you’ve not looked at the back of the cards then?”

“The back of the cards, sir? I don’t know what you mean.”

“I see. Your current instructor is not the best at explanations it would seem. Using your non-dominant hand and only two fingers of it, pinch the corners of the card on your keeper which you’re unsure of. This will flip the card over, giving you a short list of information as well as a description of the item itself.”

Turs looked down at the keeper in his hand and followed Orse’s commands. The card enlarged itself so that it took up the majority of the screen before flipping itself over, revealing as the headmaster had said, a list of information. Card number, card type, trade value, rank, ability and description.

“Go ahead, read it out loud for me.”

Turs looked nervously around the room as he quietly cleared his throat. The semi-final battle between the girls was still going on, and it seemed to quite a bit more involved than the one between he and Wex. Both Pokemon looked to be drained of energy, but the girls commanding them continued to enter commands into their keepers, forcing the programs to struggle even harder.

“Turs, read.”

The boy swallowed hard, and then took a quiet, shaky breath. “The Card Number is S-0002 and is a tool type. Trade value is not available, rank is S, and its ability is… combination? What does that mean?”

“Read the description.”

“Tool Card S-0002, otherwise known as MK-1-6-343-2.1 is a tool which when activated, attaches itself to the user’s keeper as a semi-permanent, physical extension for a period of up to seven days. Tool Card S-0002 is a highly intelligent tool which allows its user to combine two or more items together with varying outcomes based on the input of the user’s intentions. The utility of Tool Card S-0002 is limitless, and as such is registered as an S class card, and the only one of its kind. Due to the rarity of this card, it is registered as un-tradable to students and should be kept in the possession of faculty members alone.”

“So tell me, how would you have utilized that card had the battle gone on?”

Turs stared at his keeper, unsure of what to say. If the card was so rare and powerful, why had it been given to him at an entrance exam like this? “I… I don’t know. How did I even get this card in the first place?”

“That wasn’t my question, mister Prest.”

“I… I guess I would have fused together an item or two and hoped for the best.”

The headmaster began tapping his foot again and then peeled the bit of skin from his lip before tossing it onto the ground. Netrel remained quiet for the remainder of the girls’ match, but stood the second that its outcome had been decided.

“Congratulations. Now pass them both.”

“P-pass them both?” The red-haired instructor looked to be visibly shaken by the headmaster’s decision. “What do you mean pass them both? That’s not… how will that even work?”

“Hand off the girl to another faculty member. Is it so complicated?”

Netrel stormed out, having quickly blurted out his answer to the test’s administrator. The girl looked completely frazzled, and shook her head.

“Turs Prest, native of the Astia region, you have passed the entrance exam and are now a certified student of Orse Academy. Natalie Wana, native of the Astia region, you have… also passed the entrance exam and are now a certified student of Orse Academy. Both of you may proceed through the doors behind me and begin your ascent through our curriculum. I will… follow behind you shortly, so that I can lead you to your dormitories.”

Turs watched as the headmaster stormed out of the room and then focused his attention on the girl who he’d attempted to speak to earlier in the day. It seemed that they would both be moving on to the Academy now, despite being in the same age group and not having had a single mutual interaction. It was something to have a single student accepted into the academy, but to have two from the same age...

Natalie wasted no time in passing through the door behind their instructor. The boy still didn’t know what her problem was, but he was sure to find out eventually now that they were both going to attend the same academy. Turs looked down at his keeper, reading over the description of his one of a kind tool once more. The boy shook his head, still completely unsure of for what reason he’d been given something so important. Turs walked to the doors behind the instructor, and with a final glance around the room, he passed through onto the first floor of the academy.
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