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Old June 17th, 2019 (8:09 AM).
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I like bagpipes! Looks like nobody is sleeping, so have at it.
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Old June 17th, 2019 (4:32 PM).
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They're not actually bagpipes. A stuffed sheep fell off my shelf of death and got impaled on a bit of pipe I was going to repair the kitchen sink with...

Oh btw, who is Mr. McKenzie? I''ve had to sign for 20 packages this week alone with his name on them.
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Old June 17th, 2019 (6:33 PM).
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The last owner who died under mysterious circumstances.

Anyone wanna talk about the sludge flooding the basement?
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Old June 17th, 2019 (7:05 PM).
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Once again, I swear I didn't have anything to do with any basement related mishaps.

I don't know what's going on with the sludge and I most certainly have no idea about the large rat-man that's been nesting under the stairs.
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Old June 18th, 2019 (7:46 AM).
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You're not helping with the case because you keep bringing it up :)

either way, I guess some stranger covered the bill for the plumber. thanks random stranger!
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Old June 19th, 2019 (5:52 AM).
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Maybe a neighbor covered the bill?

Anyhow, why is there mermaids in the pool?
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“In great deeds, something abides. On great fields, something stays. Forms change and pass; bodies disappear; but spirits linger, to consecrate ground for the vision-place of souls… generations that know us not and that we know not of, heart-drawn to see where and by whom great things were suffered and done for them, shall come to this deathless field, to ponder and dream; and lo! the shadow of a mighty presence shall wrap them in its bosom, and the power of the vision pass into their souls.”

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Old June 19th, 2019 (6:05 AM).
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I invited them over for coffee a few nights ago but they really like our pool water and I can't seem to get them to leave.

Has anybody seen my shoes? They've all gone missing again.
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Old June 19th, 2019 (3:20 PM).
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I can’t do money puns. It just doesn’t make any cents.
 
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Help! I still lost my memory! Can you guys help?
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Old June 19th, 2019 (7:06 PM). Edited June 19th, 2019 by ElBurrito.
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Ash, I think I saw someone selling them on the street again. Here Page, eat this rock. Wikipedia says this is high in memory fibers... or something... I dunno just eat it.
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Old June 19th, 2019 (7:37 PM).
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I am the Paladin and I have been defending the mansion from the angry Karens that have been ramming the door asking for the manager.
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“In great deeds, something abides. On great fields, something stays. Forms change and pass; bodies disappear; but spirits linger, to consecrate ground for the vision-place of souls… generations that know us not and that we know not of, heart-drawn to see where and by whom great things were suffered and done for them, shall come to this deathless field, to ponder and dream; and lo! the shadow of a mighty presence shall wrap them in its bosom, and the power of the vision pass into their souls.”

Joshua Chamberlain


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Adopt one yourself! @Pokémon Orphanage
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Old June 21st, 2019 (7:45 AM).
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Hopefully you’ve kept them from gathering all six infinity scarves. No manager will be safe, and I doubt our door would be able to hold them back with that level of power.

Ms Paladin... I don’t feel so good...
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Old June 21st, 2019 (11:12 AM).
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Oh crud. I might have to summon the powers of Lord Helix and Cthulhu to keep these Karens at bay.
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“In great deeds, something abides. On great fields, something stays. Forms change and pass; bodies disappear; but spirits linger, to consecrate ground for the vision-place of souls… generations that know us not and that we know not of, heart-drawn to see where and by whom great things were suffered and done for them, shall come to this deathless field, to ponder and dream; and lo! the shadow of a mighty presence shall wrap them in its bosom, and the power of the vision pass into their souls.”

Joshua Chamberlain


Name: Tombstone
Adopt one yourself! @Pokémon Orphanage
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Old June 25th, 2019 (1:32 PM).
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Why are you singling out Karen, though? It could have been Beatrice as well..
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Old June 25th, 2019 (1:47 PM).
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No man, there are an entire army of Karens out there that robbed our PS4 for their kids.
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“In great deeds, something abides. On great fields, something stays. Forms change and pass; bodies disappear; but spirits linger, to consecrate ground for the vision-place of souls… generations that know us not and that we know not of, heart-drawn to see where and by whom great things were suffered and done for them, shall come to this deathless field, to ponder and dream; and lo! the shadow of a mighty presence shall wrap them in its bosom, and the power of the vision pass into their souls.”

Joshua Chamberlain


Name: Tombstone
Adopt one yourself! @Pokémon Orphanage
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Old June 25th, 2019 (1:54 PM). Edited June 25th, 2019 by Sorvete.
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I better hide my collection of socks in that case

Spoiler:
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Old June 25th, 2019 (3:21 PM).
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As long as they didn't touch the Nintendo stuff, I'm fine.

Since when does the doorbell play Achy Breaky Heart by Billy Ray Cyrus?
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Old June 25th, 2019 (5:18 PM).
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Around the same time my computer got hacked to play Old Town Road on startup.
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“In great deeds, something abides. On great fields, something stays. Forms change and pass; bodies disappear; but spirits linger, to consecrate ground for the vision-place of souls… generations that know us not and that we know not of, heart-drawn to see where and by whom great things were suffered and done for them, shall come to this deathless field, to ponder and dream; and lo! the shadow of a mighty presence shall wrap them in its bosom, and the power of the vision pass into their souls.”

Joshua Chamberlain


Name: Tombstone
Adopt one yourself! @Pokémon Orphanage
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Old June 30th, 2019 (11:55 AM).
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That's okay. I changed the doorbell tone to just the standard ding dong.

Who changed the doorbell anyways?
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Old June 30th, 2019 (1:32 PM).
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I thought I changed it to Megalovania, my bad.
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Old June 30th, 2019 (1:48 PM). Edited June 30th, 2019 by Sorvete.
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That's alright, just don't do it again.

I hope it wasn't you who put all those toenails in yesterday's apple pie, though.
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Old July 2nd, 2019 (6:57 AM).
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I didn't even know there was apple pie being served, so don't look at me.

Jerry's peach cobbler though surely looked like it got messed around with...
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Old July 3rd, 2019 (4:49 PM).
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I can’t do money puns. It just doesn’t make any cents.
 
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Help! I still lost my memory, someone help me!
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Old July 4th, 2019 (4:23 AM).
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I remember seeing the cat playing with it. Maybe it's under your bed?
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Old July 4th, 2019 (7:54 AM).
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I don't know, a werewolf was raiding the fridge last week.
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“In great deeds, something abides. On great fields, something stays. Forms change and pass; bodies disappear; but spirits linger, to consecrate ground for the vision-place of souls… generations that know us not and that we know not of, heart-drawn to see where and by whom great things were suffered and done for them, shall come to this deathless field, to ponder and dream; and lo! the shadow of a mighty presence shall wrap them in its bosom, and the power of the vision pass into their souls.”

Joshua Chamberlain


Name: Tombstone
Adopt one yourself! @Pokémon Orphanage
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Old July 4th, 2019 (11:03 AM). Edited July 4th, 2019 by Sorvete.
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lol No, that was just me coming from Nina's costume party. I was hungry like a lion.

Speaking of lions, who decorated my suite's restroom with Gryffindor banners? You should already know at this point that I'm a Slytherin.
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