Depression...

Started by Missingno Baby July 21st, 2005 2:19 PM
  • 1392 views
  • 52 replies
Age 31
A house on planet Earth.
Seen September 10th, 2009
Posted May 28th, 2009
591 posts
19.6 Years
Once again, depression strikes me...

I feel like I've been robbed of my personality, or that I don't mean anything. I have had depression since last September. Being here...in this world, is only making me feel worse. All I want to do is be with the person that means the most to me...but I can't.

Everything seems to only be getting worse for me. Even if I do something that I like for a little while, like paint a picture or write a story, everything goes wrong and I feel sick, like I'm going to die really soon.

Yes, I'm on medication, and depression like this only strikes me a few times within a few weeks...I used to have a councilor for school, but now, I don't.

I think I am not just depressed, but mentally ill, too.

Are you guys like me?
Beautiful gorgeous.
Age 36
Sitting upon the hills waiting for the one...
Seen June 14th, 2006
Posted June 14th, 2006
5,154 posts
18 Years
I don't suffer from depression per se. When someone around me, like you, feels this bad, I begin to exibite the same feelings. I feel what you feel. So, if you ever wish to talk about something, I am willing to listen and try to make you cheer up...or if you just want to talk in general. I want to help out the best I can. So, I'm just a PM away. It is all your choice, though.


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Age 30
Female
Ontario, Canada
Seen October 21st, 2011
Posted December 22nd, 2010
4,904 posts
18.3 Years
Awwwz...your poor thing. ;3; *huggles* I've experienced depression a few times, so I know how bad it feels. >__>;; I'm really, really, really bad emotionally wise, so I get easily upset when I'm alone, people arent talking to me, someone yells at me, etc. I basically get upset when someone else is upset, and start crying. o__o; I also get worried easily, too. Call it anxiety, I guess, but it eventually leads to depression in my case. Mine only happens for about two days, though. I'm sorry you have to go through this. n___n;; *huggles*
c a t a s t r o p h i c
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Kylie-chan

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Age 29
Non-binary
New South Wales, Australia
Seen December 3rd, 2022
Posted October 5th, 2016
14,976 posts
18.7 Years
I've had it chronically since March 2004, you're not alone, it got really bad for me until April this year, I had to keep myself away from pills and knives and stuff... *hugs* I know how it feels to be so lost, I can't say much as I'm not good at consoling but I'm going to pray for you, praying has helped my friends and myself many times. =/
PON PON WAY WAY WAY

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ArticunoIce

I wub my wiitle Yugi. <3

Age 28
I live here. -points at house-
Seen May 16th, 2006
Posted January 26th, 2006
68 posts
18.3 Years
Aww, poor you.. -huggles- It somewhat happens to me, at LEAST once a week... I just feel I'm un-wanted, and just plain darn upset...And, when I read things like this, my depression kicks in for a bit...
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Chase Leader

Music Is My Miracle Drug!

Age 36
Anywhere, U.S.A.
Seen December 12th, 2006
Posted August 9th, 2006
851 posts
18.8 Years
It's all in the head, you say your depressed and mentaly ill, but I think you just need someone to talk to. Not a councilor per say but someone you can trust and someone that is close to you. Don't go through this alone, that will only make things worse. Try doing aerobic activities or find a new hobby. Depression sucks, I don't have it but I have been deeply depressed. Hope you find a cure for your depression.

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the best bits of the past,
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Kylie-chan

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Age 29
Non-binary
New South Wales, Australia
Seen December 3rd, 2022
Posted October 5th, 2016
14,976 posts
18.7 Years
It's all in the head, you say your depressed and mentaly ill, but I think you just need someone to talk to. Not a councilor per say but someone you can trust and someone that is close to you. Don't go through this alone, that will only make things worse. Try doing aerobic activities or find a new hobby. Depression sucks, I don't have it but I have been deeply depressed. Hope you find a cure for your depression.
Of course it's in the head, it's a non-psychotic mental illness.
PON PON WAY WAY WAY

あの交差点で皆がもしスキップをして もしあの町の真中でてを繋いで空を見上げたら
Age 34
Seen October 15th, 2012
Posted March 11th, 2010
2,774 posts
19.1 Years
is there any reason that you're depressed?? i was pretty down at the beginning of freshman year... but i'm not normally depressed. then my girlfriend dumped me for one of my best friends, my granddad died, a friend commited suicide, all of my middle school friends went to a different school, and i wasn't adjusting well to the new school environment. so, yes, i've experienced depression too. but i've never known what it's like to feel depression that is apparantly unprovoked... that's probably worse huh? because there's no issue that you need to try to get over; just over yourself. you've gotta know that life will get better, maybe not immediatly, but i'd be willing to bet that by the end of highschool things are better. if you compare your problems with other much more significant ones around the world, things might seem better. kinda dillute your sorrow? i dunno if that works, i'm not a psychologist...

Natsuki

.bluefang.

Age 33
Female
Minnesota
Seen July 16th, 2015
Posted March 22nd, 2012
5,046 posts
18.2 Years
I do get hit with periods of depression every so often. Though usually it does get pretty bad, it only lasts for a max of two or three days. In fact I just got out of one of my worst episodes yet. I just wanted to die, I felt like there was nothing left for me. I felt as though the sky was falling and everyone was pointing fingers at me. Not to mention just overall stress that piles up can only make matters worse. ><;

I guess I've always kind of had periods of depression, since I was little even, but when I was young it might only be for a few minutes...but as I grew older the periods of depression came more frequently and for longer periods of time. Only recently, about early June 2005 or so, have they been getting really bad and happening every other week or so.

I have to say I would never be able to have survived this long without one special person in my life. That person knows who they are and I thank them for all they've done for me, for that person was the only one who I felt I could turn to without being rejected...and in turn that person gave me the comfort I needed. It always helps to have a friend when your emotions go all topsy-turvy on ya. XD

~Kelsey

Kylie-chan

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Age 29
Non-binary
New South Wales, Australia
Seen December 3rd, 2022
Posted October 5th, 2016
14,976 posts
18.7 Years
I do get hit with periods of depression every so often. Though usually it does get pretty bad, it only lasts for a max of two or three days. In fact I just got out of one of my worst episodes yet. I just wanted to die, I felt like there was nothing left for me. I felt as though the sky was falling and everyone was pointing fingers at me. Not to mention just overall stress that piles up can only make matters worse. ><;

I guess I've always kind of had periods of depression, since I was little even, but when I was young it might only be for a few minutes...but as I grew older the periods of depression came more frequently and for longer periods of time. Only recently, about early June 2005 or so, have they been getting really bad and happening every other week or so.

I have to say I would never be able to have survived this long without one special person in my life. That person knows who they are and I thank them for all they've done for me, for that person was the only one who I felt I could turn to without being rejected...and in turn that person gave me the comfort I needed. It always helps to have a friend when your emotions go all topsy-turvy on ya. XD

~Kelsey
*hugs* I never knew you had the same feelings, Kelseymuffin-chan. ;-; But yeah, you feel like you're just losing grip on everything, like there's only darkness and no light to reach out to, like there's nothing left any more to live for. Recently, to the contrary, I've been pulling out of the cycle, as I fell back into it after... incidents. I resumed my constant fantasies of death and destruction. Just forever wishing I would die, like it would end all the pain. I wondered if it would help, what it would be like to die... just lying awake, driven frantic, and scared like hell of myself and these thoughts. There have been times where I have seriously considered taking my own life by knife, or overdosing on pills. I've had to keep myself away from them. The last spark of reality in me, the last bit of rationality, was saying "What the hell are you thinking?" and these long, lonely nights were something I dreaded, when the sun set I would just ache even worse; there was this feeling of an ongoing, terrible, dull, not acute but it hurt so badly, pain; and it got worse at night, I would just dread night and going to bed.
PON PON WAY WAY WAY

あの交差点で皆がもしスキップをして もしあの町の真中でてを繋いで空を見上げたら

Natsuki

.bluefang.

Age 33
Female
Minnesota
Seen July 16th, 2015
Posted March 22nd, 2012
5,046 posts
18.2 Years
*hugs* I never knew you had the same feelings, Kelseymuffin-chan. ;-; But yeah, you feel like you're just losing grip on everything, like there's only darkness and no light to reach out to, like there's nothing left any more to live for. Recently, to the contrary, I've been pulling out of the cycle, as I fell back into it after... incidents. I resumed my constant fantasies of death and destruction. Just forever wishing I would die, like it would end all the pain. I wondered if it would help, what it would be like to die... just lying awake, driven frantic, and scared like hell of myself and these thoughts. There have been times where I have seriously considered taking my own life by knife, or overdosing on pills. I've had to keep myself away from them. The last spark of reality in me, the last bit of rationality, was saying "What the hell are you thinking?" and these long, lonely nights were something I dreaded, when the sun set I would just ache even worse; there was this feeling of an ongoing, terrible, dull, not acute but it hurt so badly, pain; and it got worse at night, I would just dread night and going to bed.
You probably never noticed it before in me...because I tend to hide behind a fake smile. Do you know how simple it is to just slap a happy looking smilie down in a post? Even if you're trying to be depressing as Hell? No one notices...no one cares, because what do they really know about you? Nothing at all.

I too have wondered what it would be like to die...to end it all. Though I've only contemplated taking my own life one or two times...it scared the living Hell out of me. How could I be thinking like that? Am I going insane? These thoughts swarm through my mind like and unwanted group of locusts. xX; Though I know, deep down, that I would never do something so heinous as taking my own life...it frightens me that I even considered it in the first place.

There's so much to life, even if you can't see it now, I believe everyone has a purpose. Funny how contradicting that statement is...when just a few days ago I was crying my eyes out, just wanting to know why I was even placed on this earth. I've tried talking to my mom about it...but she only worsens the situation, so I've stopped turning to her. I'm sure many people know what it feels like to have no one to turn to...there's no one who really understands what the person is going through. They might say they do, but words are only second best to actual real-life perceptions. --;

And I too dread the time when I'm sent off to bed. The reasoning for that is...that's the time when all of my worries and stresses and thoughts come crashing into me all at once. Whereas during the day I have other things distracting me from my worries, so they get surpressed until the day's end.

Annnd...this is probably really depressing for anyone who's reading the posts in this thread...XD But suddenly, I don't care about what other people think. XP *huggles Ky-Ky* I guess it's just nice to know that I'm not the only one who's felt this way before...^^;

~Kelsey
Age 35
To the Stars...
Seen December 25th, 2005
Posted December 1st, 2005
5,553 posts
18.2 Years
Lol, I know depressions quite well. Tch, I've had one an' it lasted for 2 years. I felt like I wanted nothin' outta life, no happiness, I couldn'teven cry an' even got suicidal at one point. O_O
After it passed away the on an' off depression yar describin' got ta me an' although I wasn't sad anymore I wasn't happy either. Lol, I'd given up hope that I'd ever feel happiness until I found this place, yup, as strange as it may seem this place cured me.
I haven't known any friends that liked pkmn in years an' I gusee this place just overjoyed me with happiness. ^^;;
Tch, in the end tha cure proved ta be the exact thing that ppl've been tellin' me for years -- find somethin' that ya really like an' makes ya happy. Tch, once it occupies yar life tha depression an' all its residual numb-ness'll go away. ^_~
Age 33
USA
Seen October 29th, 2006
Posted July 16th, 2006
1,152 posts
17.9 Years
I'm really depressed inside, but it's probably just teen angst kicking in. Koi_Rebekka, your going to be alright. You know why? I have faith that this depression or mental illness your experiencing is going to get up and get out of your life, you are the one that has to make it better though. Happiness will just not sit around and wait to be embraced, you've got to go after it. You probably don't know what the heck i'm talking about but yeah, you'll be fine.


If you are a fan:
Age 35
To the Stars...
Seen December 25th, 2005
Posted December 1st, 2005
5,553 posts
18.2 Years
Yeh, ya said it right. Tch, so many told t ta me an' I refused ta listen an' never sought anythin' ta make me happy, I don't think I could've thought of anything of such in that state of mind either, depression can really cloud yar mind when it comes ta things that can make ya happy, I found this place by pure accident. XD
Seen March 17th, 2011
Posted January 15th, 2007
3,052 posts
18.9 Years
I've suffered from depression constant for about 4 - 5 years now, im currently on medication for it, also for my Panic Attacks and OCD, you're not alone, and I know how bad everything can get, trust me it will be okay, you have to think positive, its almost impossible, but its people "like us" that are stronger, and >>when<< you get over it, you'll be a much stronger person, you'll learn from how you've felt, depression comes upon us and hits us worse if we're very intact with are emotions, people may see that as a bad thing, but its not. It means your sensative, and will always be aware of others feelings from experience of your own.


My life is difficult, and im not one of those people who thinks its oh so cool that most things in my life are even impossible to actually get over, i've gone through months of my life not leaving the house, i've stopped eating for weeks, I have really bad sleeping patterns, I only get about 3 hours sleep anight, and that doesn't help with depression.


My life is restricted, I find it hard to go out in cars, I can't even think about going on public transport, I can just about get an hour away from where I live, and because of all my problems, i've been taken out of school, That must have been at 2 years ago now, and it looks like i'll never go back to school. People get the wrong idea about me, i've always been a non-conformist, i've always been a freak, but i've also got this **** to lug around with me.

People don't understand what I have to go through, they don't get it, that I find it hard just to put one step out of my house.. at one point I felt I was a bad person, and i'd brung this all on myself, I used to cut myself, once I did really to badly, and I cannot go through all that again, I cannot help the way I am, I've had strong thoughts about suicide for a very long time now, and I even tried, but I couldn't do it. I know now that I don't need to destroy myself to make me better.
People dislike me, my whole town is it against me, they think im to "diffrent" to be excepted, and Im past caring now. It makes me feel sick to go into my town, people stare at me, call me names..
I have a mental illness, but that doesn't mean I should be treated like this, yes I haven't got a broken leg, or im in a wheel chair but its just as difficult for me as somone who has physical pain in there life...every single day.


You need to keep positive, do whatever you can to help yourself, don't worry what everyone else thinks, everyone suffers from depression from time to time, and it does pass.
I do not have enough time for PC anymore, it is a sorry affair but I haven't been active in a long time. I do not have many friends still here at PC but if you are one that is still please feel free to contact me via msn.
Age 35
To the Stars...
Seen December 25th, 2005
Posted December 1st, 2005
5,553 posts
18.2 Years
STOP TAKIN' MEDICATIONS! They wear out tha moment ya stop takin' 'em, they've got side-effects, an' once yar brain starts gettin' used ta 'em ya'll need more an' more.
Think 'bout somethin' ya've always wanted ta do that would make ya happy but I mean REALLY happy an' do it. Try an' make friends an' sociallize while doin' that.
Yeah, ppl don't give a dan 'bout how painful depression is. Wow, 4-5 years is a long time, how/why'd ya get inta it?
Tch. The only thing that can reallycure this after such a long time is a surge o' happiness, so give it yar best shot at it. Sometimes in depressions it's hard ta think of anything that makes ya happy an' things that used ta make ya happy don't appeal so much anymore but tha mind is wrong 'cuz if ya do 'em ya'll see they can still make ya happy.
As for diseases, well my depression got so bad that I've been "blessed" with psoryazis an' whenever I tire my brain out or have a fight with someone spots appear on my skin an' they itch like hell! >_<
Seen March 17th, 2011
Posted January 15th, 2007
3,052 posts
18.9 Years
Charizard_Fire_God its people like you that are to ignorant to get to know the facts about everything, i've been on medication for about a year now, you cannot get addicted to it, the only side affect it had was tiredness when I first took it. Are you a doctor? No, your not, you have no right to say what it will or wont do, i'd rather take my chances with somthing thats helping me than 2 years down the line be depressed and have no form of a life.
Yes, I've faced the facts i'll probley be on this medication for the rest of my life. I know that, and its helping me, so I don't care.

I got into depression because of my phobia of vomitting, its brung me out of school, stopped me eating/sleeping for weeks on end, thats what got me into depression, not being able to leave the house, been spontanius, or do what I want.

Did you not read anything I put down? I can't socalise, I can barly get out of my house, I can just about get myself up in the morning, people don't understand me, they don't bother to listen, and I'm fed up of explaining myself to people.
I do not have enough time for PC anymore, it is a sorry affair but I haven't been active in a long time. I do not have many friends still here at PC but if you are one that is still please feel free to contact me via msn.
Age 35
To the Stars...
Seen December 25th, 2005
Posted December 1st, 2005
5,553 posts
18.2 Years
Lol, I was offered a chance ta be medicated for my depression but tha psychiatrist himself told me those arguments against it. As for addiction I never said it causes addiction, I said that ya'll need more an' more of it in order for it ta be effective, just like antibiotics stopped workin' effectively on bacteria over the ages.

...An' ya wanna know what I said to that doctor then? "I don't care what that medicine does to me as long as it will end my depression." Luckily he an' mom were adamant 'bout me NOT takin' it or I would've gladly glomped it all up, just like you, so I'm not all that ignorant, what's more, I kept believin' it would work until I actually pulled myself outta it, so that's why I'm sayin' no, b/c I now know that even after 2 years it's possible ta get outta it.

My depression was caused by my sepparation from my classmattes when school ended an' hi-school began, an' I even ended up hittin' my parents!

...as for socialization, I used ta stay in my room all day in front of my comp an' listenin' ta blues or playin' games, not gettin' out except ta eat an' go ta hi-school, an' although now I talk ta my parents an' visitors that come from time ta time I'm still self-centered, but meh I'm have tha melancholical temper so I guess it's normal, well at least now I'm makin' friends an' socializin' here an' I'm much happier.
Seen June 28th, 2006
Posted June 22nd, 2006
519 posts
18.1 Years
Well im really sorry to hear this, but yeah I can relate to you in a way, after my uncle died I wanted to live no more because I thought I had no more to give, But then I remembered all the people I would have let down by commiting suicide. Now some years later I've had unimaginable problems that have seen impposible for me to overcome, but Ive found a motive to overcome them. All I can tell you is that you must take control of your emotions I know its hard to do and if you ever want to talk just Pm.

Kylie-chan

[span="background:#000; padding: 2px 10px;"][color=#C47399]NERF [b][i][color=#789DED]THIS[/color][/i]![/b] [color=#F7E1EE]♥[/color][/color][/span]

Age 29
Non-binary
New South Wales, Australia
Seen December 3rd, 2022
Posted October 5th, 2016
14,976 posts
18.7 Years
I've suffered from depression constant for about 4 - 5 years now, im currently on medication for it, also for my Panic Attacks and OCD, you're not alone, and I know how bad everything can get, trust me it will be okay, you have to think positive, its almost impossible, but its people "like us" that are stronger, and >>when<< you get over it, you'll be a much stronger person, you'll learn from how you've felt, depression comes upon us and hits us worse if we're very intact with are emotions, people may see that as a bad thing, but its not. It means your sensative, and will always be aware of others feelings from experience of your own.


My life is difficult, and im not one of those people who thinks its oh so cool that most things in my life are even impossible to actually get over, i've gone through months of my life not leaving the house, i've stopped eating for weeks, I have really bad sleeping patterns, I only get about 3 hours sleep anight, and that doesn't help with depression.


My life is restricted, I find it hard to go out in cars, I can't even think about going on public transport, I can just about get an hour away from where I live, and because of all my problems, i've been taken out of school, That must have been at 2 years ago now, and it looks like i'll never go back to school. People get the wrong idea about me, i've always been a non-conformist, i've always been a freak, but i've also got this **** to lug around with me.

People don't understand what I have to go through, they don't get it, that I find it hard just to put one step out of my house.. at one point I felt I was a bad person, and i'd brung this all on myself, I used to cut myself, once I did really to badly, and I cannot go through all that again, I cannot help the way I am, I've had strong thoughts about suicide for a very long time now, and I even tried, but I couldn't do it. I know now that I don't need to destroy myself to make me better.
People dislike me, my whole town is it against me, they think im to "diffrent" to be excepted, and Im past caring now. It makes me feel sick to go into my town, people stare at me, call me names..
I have a mental illness, but that doesn't mean I should be treated like this, yes I haven't got a broken leg, or im in a wheel chair but its just as difficult for me as somone who has physical pain in there life...every single day.


You need to keep positive, do whatever you can to help yourself, don't worry what everyone else thinks, everyone suffers from depression from time to time, and it does pass.
My mother's on antidepressants, but I never told anyone just how bad it got for me so they couldn't help, because I know it'd screw everything up. Yeah, some people treat depression as a cool label, or a cult, but the real thing is much, much different. It's hard. It crushes you, overwhelms you, seems to shut away all the light, it haunts you, it controls you. You get people who call you an emo idiot and tell you to snap out of it. They're insensitive and ignorant people who don't know what they're talking about; they have never experienced how hard it is to not want to go on. Never, ever listen to these people. Then you'll get people who hate you over it because you're different. Meh, they're the same.

Most people see me as fun and hyper ALL THE TIME. =/ Like Kelseymuffin-chan said, you can throw some ^____^, muffins, happy words, and stuff, into your post but it IS like faking a smile, and it's really pointless. Yeah, I considered taking my own life a lot, I still do - only this morning this vision of myself getting a knife and driving it into myself crept into my mind - and it scares me so much. Depression is really scary to deal with and you can become very scared, terrified, of yourself. The night was scary. I dreaded going to bed, because I was alone then, surrounded by all my irrational fears. Everything is stronger in the darkness. Everything is scarier in the darkness. I wasn't scared of the dark - more of being alone. Because when I was alone I fell prey to my visions. I lay awake just contemplating death, wondering frantically, going crazy. I felt the feeling I was imprisoned in my own mind.

Since I became depressed, I lost a lot, and I changed. Vitamin Sadness - character-enhancing, side effects depression. I introverted completely into myself. As a result, I am now antisocial and have trouble talking to people I don't know very, very closely. ._. I lost my self-esteem - my problem is I know I need some but I don't know what there is to like about me. I became insecure and paranoid. I felt that I was different to everyone else; older, somehow, for experiencing something they hadn't [believe me, they haven't]. At school they'd be laughing and going on about dances and things. I didn't say a word. I was busy trying to cope, busy trying to fight away the panic and sadness, too busy to concentrate on anything else. I welcomed school, for all I felt weird; six hours, it was, six hours of being distracted. Paradise. I looked at their faces and they were happy and I just felt the despair radiating out of me. Yes, that's the word for it, I think - despair. I despaired of ever being happy again. Everything stretched ahead of me, long and bleak, full of depression. I couldn't see an end that didn't involve killing myself. =/ I was terrified of doing it, but terrified of not doing it. Catch-22.

When I smiled and meant it for the first time, it was a milestone. Same for laughing. Smiling and laughing might seem like normal things but the real things are rare occasions for me. My mouth is always in a pout and when I smile it can take effort if I'm faking it.

When I felt properly happy for the first time after, it was very different. I didn't know what the feeling was at first, I figured I was just all hyperactive a nd energetic. It took ages to get a grip on the feeling, to adjust to the idea I might actually feel it properly for a proper period of time. I was used to being sad all the time. Imagine how good I felt. I was almost scared to get my hopes up, in case I lost the feeling. I did, and I'm still depressed, but not as much. I'm more just sad chronically. I still often think about death. Death attracts me. It's like an obsession.

You can feel happy briefly but not enough to say you're not depressed. Meh, it's like a really heavy bag of angst I have to carry around, sometimes it gets lighter, sometimes heavier, and I just can't cope. It's harder when I'm silent, much harder. People offline don't know and it makes my heart just break from it all. I feel ashamed of being depressed because my problems are tiny, my past isn't that terrible, but it still caused so much trauma. I'll never forget Easter 2004, it was before the onset of the real stuff but I was so sad and lonely, the light would be on but it would still feel really dark. Winter was really hard. For one bit of time I opened up - and I am so glad I did. I spent one whole weekend lying on the sofa in one position just crying, not eating or drinking or talking, just crying. I cry a lot now. I'm surprised I have any tears left to cry. I was locked in some panicked torment. I was referred to a psychologist who helped my phobia of infectious major diseases go away, but it still left some huge hole in me. I felt empty, soulless, sometimes apathetic but sad, just in limbo, wishing I'd disappear or just die.

Don't do it to yourself, it really doesn't get you anywhere, there are better things to solve it with.
You can talk to me any time I'm online if you want, although if you have IM you're more likely to reach me as my inbox tends to be pretty full, or you can email me, but IM is best. Talking is good, emotions want to be freed, talking does that. And you'll find many friends who'll listen. Go for supportive friends, never the ones who can't deal with it, or tell you to snap out of it, that it's a passing phase. Depression isn't feeling down, it's not a phase, and they're wrong.
PON PON WAY WAY WAY

あの交差点で皆がもしスキップをして もしあの町の真中でてを繋いで空を見上げたら
Age 31
Well, Wouldn't you like to know?
Seen January 4th, 2006
Posted January 4th, 2006
71 posts
17.8 Years
Look, Your not depressed, you have Post-Dramatic Stress syndrome. Anything incredibally bad happen in your life? ( I have this too, I channel that into...well..^_^...My will to Dominate.) Find a Hobby, Mine is drawing up military plans and sketeches of Tanks.
' Its the end of your world as you know it, And its all Mine. '- Me

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Viva Le' Napoleon!

PETA= Please Eat Tasty Animals

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