Confessions...(A revival)

Started by Amy-chan February 11th, 2006 5:55 PM
  • 1105 views
  • 29 replies

Amy-chan

Has vacated the premises

Age 30
Paradise...
Seen August 20th, 2007
Posted September 29th, 2006
2,339 posts
19.5 Years
While searching the forums I found this old thread. It made me crack up really badly, so I decided to ressurect it. Basically, what you do is...well, check out the old one for examples. Admit to PC your true identity, and let it be known to the world!!!! I hope this is allowed....

Here's my tale....
~*~
I am not human. I am a Wolfox on the run from Darth Vader. You see, I was created as a genetic fusion of wolf and fox in a hidden backwater part of the planet Hoth. My creation was meant to better humanity, as I was originally intended to be a mail carrier. But then everything went horribly wrong...

One day, the Empire's ships came searching for me. They sought to use my mail-carrying powers for evil instead of good. Led by Darth Vader, they captured me and locked me in a gingerbread house in a fairy tale realm. There, they attempted to absorb my powers into a giant machine that would fuel a mass slaughter of the Rebels. Weak, exhausted, and bloated from the endless candy bars Vader fed me, I could do nothing but let them drain me. Until one day...

Two humans, by the names of Hansel and Gretel, rescued me. Unfortunately, shortly after freeing me, the Empire captured them and zapped their memory, causing them to mumble something about a witch whenever asked about their misadventures in the woods. I escaped, however, and ran away to the land of Appliances. It was a rather annoying place, full of singing fridges, so I moved from there to a castle in England. There some old geezer with a beard taught me how to be a wizard, and I became great friends with this dude with a weird scar. Sadly, he was destroyed by a vulture-like man named Mr. Burns. This man turned out to be an ally of Vader, and once again I was on the run.

Three years passed. I learned how to read and write and sing in Elvish. I went through many various plagiarized lands, and howled about tacos on summer nights. It seemed I would always live this way, as a wanderer. But I knew, in my heart, that I could not run forever. I would have to confront Vader. And, for the good of fusionkind, I would have to win.

By fate, it seemed, I ran into Vader again in a land called Orre. He had convinced a company called Cipher to join him, and they sent out Shadow Pokemon to attack me. I still had some mail-carrying power left, and fought and defeated them with ease. Cipher ran like cowards. It was just me and Vader now...

I grabbed my UPS saber(What can brown do for you?) and took a stab at him. He sung a song about Care Bears and dodged gracefully, cutting a sharp left into my ribs. I fell upon the pavement, panting. I knew this was the end...

And then he said it: "Luke, I am your father."

"NOOO!" I screamed, throwing an egg. I had no idea who the heck Luke was, but thought Vader was being extremely cliche. While he assumed I was digesting the news, I was really concentrating my mail-carrying abilities on him. It backfired, and I turned into a frog. As I went back into my regular form, I knew I had no choice but to flee. Turning, I ran off into the setting sun. "I will get you one day, INDIANA JONES!" Vader screamed, before disappearing into the night.

A lot has happened since then, but ever since Vader's terrible confession I have never quite been the same. To try to forget my incredible failure, I took up learning how to type, and became a message board junkie. I pretended to be a human named Amy, an innocent twelve-year-old girl. And I have lived that way to this day....
~*~
And there's my sad tale, but I know I'm not the only one. A lot of you out there are also probably covering up bad identities. So what are you? A muffin, a statue, a rebel elephant? Do tell, as we don't want to have to force the truth out of you... :badsmile:

Please try to make it long and funny like mine, not just a one-liner. If you're a puddle of oil, we want to know your life story. 8D Do enjoy reading confessions and making your own, and I hope you have fun! :D
~Miracles Happen~

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www.theanimalrescuesite.com (Click the tabs.)

Left, now that I can contact people a different way. Please click at the sites above. They're charity sites, not gags designed to make you join another forum or whatever. They actually do something.

Amy-chan

Has vacated the premises

Age 30
Paradise...
Seen August 20th, 2007
Posted September 29th, 2006
2,339 posts
19.5 Years
Gah, that's spam. @[email protected] It's not supposed to be realistic, it's just supposed to be absurd and silly. That's the fun in it. XD
~Miracles Happen~

www.care2.com
www.ecologyfund.com
www.theanimalrescuesite.com (Click the tabs.)

Left, now that I can contact people a different way. Please click at the sites above. They're charity sites, not gags designed to make you join another forum or whatever. They actually do something.

Croconaw

Herro dere :3 can i help youz?

Age 30
North Carolina.
Seen May 27th, 2018
Posted July 3rd, 2012
1,240 posts
17.5 Years
get real ok? lets talk for real here ya all now that im 9 years old? right?also i.......almost never go #2
OMG!! I think i'm gonna die!! OMG thats so freakin funny!! Oh, yeah my confession. Ahem. I dont like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I hope thats good enough.

Amy-chan

Has vacated the premises

Age 30
Paradise...
Seen August 20th, 2007
Posted September 29th, 2006
2,339 posts
19.5 Years
You guys don't seem to get the point. -.-; This is supposed to be for confessing your 'identity', see the old thread I linked. I know it seems silly, but it's just meant for laughs. But if you guys want to spam this place, fine with me... *watches thread die and get locked in her mind's eye*
~Miracles Happen~

www.care2.com
www.ecologyfund.com
www.theanimalrescuesite.com (Click the tabs.)

Left, now that I can contact people a different way. Please click at the sites above. They're charity sites, not gags designed to make you join another forum or whatever. They actually do something.
Age 29
Florida
Seen November 18th, 2016
Posted May 2nd, 2010
937 posts
17.9 Years
I also have a confession to make... I am a 356-year old slice of cheddar from the ruins of Mygeeto. I was created on a mutated cow farm in Switzerland. I was packed and shipped to a galaxy far, far away, where the imfamous General Grievous put me in his sandwich.
I was tortured by Bologna, Ham, Salami, and Swiss.

But one frightfull day Bologna pushed from the sandwich during the Pretty Pony wars. Those beasts kept me hostage in their giant doll house on Pluto, just under the oversized purple hairbrush. Day after day I was nibbled, until one day, after 3 painful years, the Pony Empire fell. Pretty Ponies were now being processed and turned into Spam Meats.

I was laying on Pluto for at least a century when suddenly a fleet of Space Taco Warriors seized me. They tried to turn me into Nacho Cheese, but instead a strange dog-like n00b creature swallowed me. I was laying in its stomach along with crappy Lyoko mangas, Yu-Gi-Oh cards, smiley fries, passifires, and baby bottles. The smell was attrocious. All of a sudden the Dog Creature exploded because of the fall of the massive Lyoko empire. n00bs everywhere were dying.

There was a streak of light and I was in Transylvania. Apparently Count Chocula had used a tractor beam. I ended up in his cereal bowl along with CinnaMon, Trix Rabbit, and Lucky Leprechuan. "Hyuck. I'ma gonna eat you." said the Count, when suddenly Mr. T came through the wall. "FOO!" he exclamed. "OH NO! YOU!" yelled the Count as he made a run for his wetsuit. I made an escape from the dreaded bowl as Mr. T strangled Count Chocula using a speckled trout liver.

I dove out the window and landed in a bay. Nessie was there. She and I had some tea, but soon her husband, Mermaid Man, came home. "Nessie! I'm home!" he said. I dashed away and got hit by a bus. Then after my injury I moved to NY, posing as an 11-year old named Vincent. Later I moved to Florida, Hillbilly land.

Dun Dun Dun...
Age 34
New Jersey
Seen September 2nd, 2007
Posted August 13th, 2007
1,773 posts
17.7 Years
I'm a member of an underground organisation of juveniles that is often deployed on peacekeeping missions. This organisation also sets rules that juveniles have to abide by when living with parents. It sets up base in Tokyo and has its own court system. Members can be between eleven and twenty-five.

Amy-chan

Has vacated the premises

Age 30
Paradise...
Seen August 20th, 2007
Posted September 29th, 2006
2,339 posts
19.5 Years
Good one Karasu. XD Lol... See, that's what you're supposed to do here. A prime example. Just write a random story about your identity, one that would make others laugh. That is all.

EDIT: Ooh, yours is good too, Crystal Walrein! =D Very funny. :)
~Miracles Happen~

www.care2.com
www.ecologyfund.com
www.theanimalrescuesite.com (Click the tabs.)

Left, now that I can contact people a different way. Please click at the sites above. They're charity sites, not gags designed to make you join another forum or whatever. They actually do something.

Croconaw

Herro dere :3 can i help youz?

Age 30
North Carolina.
Seen May 27th, 2018
Posted July 3rd, 2012
1,240 posts
17.5 Years
You guys don't seem to get the point. -.-; This is supposed to be for confessing your 'identity', see the old thread I linked. I know it seems silly, but it's just meant for laughs. But if you guys want to spam this place, fine with me... *watches thread die and get locked in her mind's eye*
oh i gets it now.
Alright i have a confession, i am a 200 year old gerbil from the land of cereal. when i was 13 i ran away from my home. Then i was found on the streets by a hamster, who i later killed for the meat. i was very hungry, after i ate his body i stuffed it in a dumpster. Later on, i moved to North Carolina, and i am soposably a 7th grade student at parkwood middle. My under cover name is Jasen Kizer. If you have a problem wit my name, kiss my tail.

When the end of the world comes, i will have a escape pod waiting in The United States Of Antartica. When earth ish blown up, i will already be on my way back home to the land of Cereal. You will all suffer. MWAHAHAHAHA!!

Amy-chan

Has vacated the premises

Age 30
Paradise...
Seen August 20th, 2007
Posted September 29th, 2006
2,339 posts
19.5 Years
Heeheehee, that's a lot better. Good one. :cool:
~Miracles Happen~

www.care2.com
www.ecologyfund.com
www.theanimalrescuesite.com (Click the tabs.)

Left, now that I can contact people a different way. Please click at the sites above. They're charity sites, not gags designed to make you join another forum or whatever. They actually do something.

Smarties-chan

Should've had that name change

Age 21
Seen September 12th, 2015
Posted September 5th, 2009
3,966 posts
18.4 Years
I have been waiting to tell this a long time. I just can't live with it anymore, so I'll tell you my life story...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm really a *gasp* shiny Dunsparce and... I have destroyed a whole planet all by myself. I'm going to tell you all how it all began. My life all began from a galaxy far, far away. There, on a planet called Crypton, after years of struggling, I finally managed to break my egg's hard shell (someone should really come up with an egg that doesn't take forever to get out of >.>).

I was exhausted, but the planet was full of crazy men in red suits, blue capes and big 'S':es on their chests, so I decided it would be better to find shelter somewhere.

I somehow managed to drag myself to an abandoned nuclear powerplant. But, what I didn't know was, that the powerplant was inhabitated by evil furbies.

The furbies rushed at me and I was lucky to dodge them. I slammed them against the wall with all my might, but one of them managed to evade my attack and fell into the still active nuclear core of the powerplant, causing the whole planet to explode.

For some reason, a man called 'Super man' was still in there, he fled in panic and I decided to tag along, so I grabbed his cloak (using my teeth) and got myself a lift to a strange planet, they call 'earth'. Before I knew what had happened, a strange japanese guy had grabbed me and began making a sketch out of me. I didn't like mr.Sugimori very much, but atleast he fed me, so I decided to stay with him for a while. Everything would have turned out perfect, if he wouldn't have thrown me in the sea once he finished drawing me >.<

I helplessly floated around in the water for I don't know how long, but the one day, I found myself on dry land. I had drifted on the shore of this place called 'Finland'. I mugged a couple of rich people and after a few plastic surgeries, I looked exactly like a human being. The next thing I had to learn was their language, no one there seemed to speak Dunsparce *sigh*. Anyways... back to my life story. Soon I sneaked into a typical Finnish family with two kids. Their parents didn't notice they randomly got themselves a third kid =O Now I'm pretending to be a 12 year old kid -_-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Age 32
Male
not here... over at courtrecords
Seen December 28th, 2020
Posted August 23rd, 2014
624 posts
17.7 Years
you want a confession? I've got one!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am an 80,000,000,000,000,000,000-year old TV, living in the old stuff section at New Jersey’s Wal-Mart. The Section is off-limits to people who are not employees.

When no one is watching, I go to the closet computer I can to get on these forums. I have Special Ghost powers that allow me to duplicate myself so I can watch myself. I order things from Pizza-hut a lot.

For Food, I eat dust bunnies, and for drinks, vomit from the kids and battery acid, when the store closes. a few thousand years ago I learned how to read and write and type. That’s when I found these forums.

Since I am really old, I never get clean, due to the fact I may elctercute some people, so I am really dusty.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, how was that one?
Age 29
Castle Oblivion. ☆
Seen June 8th, 2007
Posted January 15th, 2007
812 posts
17.8 Years
I am a 500000000000000000 year old wolf that was fused with a hinky dinky pinky fox. I came from the land of... pudding. Yeah, pudding. The walls were made of hard chocolate pudding and sometimes you see some kids licking the walls because of the chocolaty goodness... anyways, because I was getting tired off seing kids lick the chocolate walls, I escaped to a place called... Mart-Wal. Everywhere you see these strange creatures called humans pushing around these contraptions called "buggies" and putting items in them. Sometimes you'll here younger, smaller versions of them screaming for "candy" and "ice cream."

Later on, I moved to The Land of Hot Potatoes... and it was very hot... and was filled with potatoes. That is my life... *goes off to eat a potatoe*

---

Meh, that sucked monkey butt. >_>

I'm Juliet waiting for [my] R o m e o ~
K a i [s] o r a


Credit to Lust (SPPF)

Spinor

&lt;i&gt;&lt;font color=&quot;b1373f&quot;&gt;The Lonely Physicist&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/i&gt;

Age 26
Male
Seen February 13th, 2019
Posted October 4th, 2015
5,175 posts
17.3 Years
im actaully the pokemon god of love and this is ash and may's story

ash kisses may in orre
ash and may grew in kanto
ash and may got married in jotho
ash and may had a kid in hoenn
ash and may......raised a overactive-house-slaying-kid
ash and may when to retirement in agate village in hoenn
ash and may died in kanto in 2092(lets say they were born when i was born, 1996)
R.I.P ash and may *sob,sob....sob,sob:( :disappoin :'( *good bye my job is done*goes back to venus*

Spinor

&lt;i&gt;&lt;font color=&quot;b1373f&quot;&gt;The Lonely Physicist&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/i&gt;

Age 26
Male
Seen February 13th, 2019
Posted October 4th, 2015
5,175 posts
17.3 Years
i wach adult swim XD

i have a pic of as and mai kising XD


i scrach me butt XD

i wach hihipuffyamiyumi XXXD

best of all i...am the son of ash and may no really i am humberto ketchum i study their history

Rai

Quarter Life Crisis! @[email protected]

Age 31
Female
Sinnoh
Seen January 4th, 2017
Posted January 4th, 2017
4,521 posts
18.1 Years
I have a confession. I hate the color pink. It is so ugly. I was hypnotized by those darn cat creatures and they made me like the color pink. They forced me to make pink layouts and worship Ichigo. They were so creul. Waving pink frilly things in my face. I am so scared. I loathe the color pink. And I hate kitties. They are evil creatures of doom and I hope they go exstinct with all their evil pinkness. The color pink makes my eyes burn and fall out of my skull, so they can disolve on the floor. I hate that color. That's my confession. :<


Omg. That was such a lie X3


Pokemon Go Dex: 84
ORAS National Dex: 552

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Karasuma

It's beemo time!

Male
Onett, NJ
Seen June 1st, 2021
Posted May 6th, 2018
6,455 posts
17.7 Years
I have a confession. I hate the color pink. It is so ugly. I was hypnotized by those darn cat creatures and they made me like the color pink. They forced me to make pink layouts and worship Ichigo. They were so creul. Waving pink frilly things in my face. I am so scared. I loathe the color pink. And I hate kitties. They are evil creatures of doom and I hope they go exstinct with all their evil pinkness. The color pink makes my eyes burn and fall out of my skull, so they can disolve on the floor. I hate that color. That's my confession. :<


Omg. That was such a lie X3
WAh! I guess that means you hate the banner and avatar I made you that wuz pinkish D=

Well I have a confession, I don't know how to swim. If I go to the school pool I will never go to the deep end D=
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