Lalalallala!

Started by code zerro the deluge May 8th, 2006 1:49 PM
  • 772 views
  • 5 replies
Age 29
Maryland
Seen January 14th, 2009
Posted January 27th, 2008
459 posts
18.1 Years
LALALLALAL so so funny
My new jam call me the Easter Bunny
I will ickle you in your tummy
I think I am a dumby heheheheh

Yes hehe
To be so young and nieve
I live so freaking care free
I cherish
Cherish like lettuce
Workin at the store
Or at a lair
I don't really care
Just get off your heat
Make energy and heat
Like lalalalalalaLA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LALALLALAL so so funny
My new jam call me the Easter Bunny
I will ickle you in your tummy
I think I am a dumby heheheheh

Yes I made me pop a wheelly
You can call me silly
Jed and Fred and Billy
So so freaky so so nilly
Sally and me
Climbing up a tree
You don't know me know
Stupid fool
Don't you know I rule?

LALALLALAL so so funny
My new jam call me the Easter Bunny
I will ickle you in your tummy
I think I am a dumby heheheheh
[urlhttp://soara.fc2web.com/img_icon/i_myuu.gif[/url]
http://soara.fc2web.com/img_icon/i_rathiosu_s.gif
http://www.serebiiforums.com/images...ario-sprite.png
http://soara.fc2web.com/img_icon/i_rathiasu.gif
http://soara.fc2web.com/img_icon/i_kaiooga.gif
http://soara.fc2web.com/img_icon/i_guraadon.gif
http://soara.fc2web.com/img_icon/i_rekkuuza.gif thanks Hristo Karamanov[/IMG][IMG]http://soara.fc2web.com/img_icon/i_myuu.gif[
video games are great until lights go out
( quote great just great)unquote

I was dr.jay

my two sites are http://www.freewebs.com/chimpythelonestar/
and join http://s7.invisionfree.com/Nintendo_Online

Me and Pink-Tiger together.


Phantom of Death is my Brother

Midori Chi my sis-in-law
So is fallen angel

join http://s7.invisionfree.com/Nintendo_Online

Amy-chan

Has vacated the premises

Age 30
Paradise...
Seen August 20th, 2007
Posted September 29th, 2006
2,339 posts
19.5 Years
Please forgive me for what I am about to say...

All the poems I've seen you post on these boards are...well...pretty random and stream-of-consciousness. They always seem to have typos, which would be excusable if they weren't so numerous. You say this is your style, but it irks me. The poems give no distinguishable emotions to the reader, either, except perhaps utter confusion. In addition, your imagery is rather ineffective, if it works at all. Reading this, it seems more of a spammy post or an incorrectly-typed rap song.

I'm sorry if this seems a harsh comment, but I'm just trying to help. Please don't get discouraged. Read some poems by other writers around here if you want some examples of professionally-done poetry(I'd recommend checking out the threads of either ~Ozy~, Nagoyaka Aikouka, or both). Don't give up. You can become a great writer if you simply practice.
~Miracles Happen~

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www.ecologyfund.com
www.theanimalrescuesite.com (Click the tabs.)

Left, now that I can contact people a different way. Please click at the sites above. They're charity sites, not gags designed to make you join another forum or whatever. They actually do something.
Age 29
Maryland
Seen January 14th, 2009
Posted January 27th, 2008
459 posts
18.1 Years
it was about me being retarded. I am the Easter Bunny in the song. following these kids around laughing at them. Also this isn't my first song Marcelin
[urlhttp://soara.fc2web.com/img_icon/i_myuu.gif[/url]
http://soara.fc2web.com/img_icon/i_rathiosu_s.gif
http://www.serebiiforums.com/images...ario-sprite.png
http://soara.fc2web.com/img_icon/i_rathiasu.gif
http://soara.fc2web.com/img_icon/i_kaiooga.gif
http://soara.fc2web.com/img_icon/i_guraadon.gif
http://soara.fc2web.com/img_icon/i_rekkuuza.gif thanks Hristo Karamanov[/IMG][IMG]http://soara.fc2web.com/img_icon/i_myuu.gif[
video games are great until lights go out
( quote great just great)unquote

I was dr.jay

my two sites are http://www.freewebs.com/chimpythelonestar/
and join http://s7.invisionfree.com/Nintendo_Online

Me and Pink-Tiger together.


Phantom of Death is my Brother

Midori Chi my sis-in-law
So is fallen angel

join http://s7.invisionfree.com/Nintendo_Online