This is a good piece, although I was very distracted by all the mistakes... I pointed out all the ones I know below...
will take their vowies to honor
I think you mean vowes. XD
The invented begin to arrive at the Noctowl
I think you mean Invited. XD
Has the other few that will stay during all of the two-week celebration will be able to fully enjoy all of what it has to offer
This sentence confused me... You start it as a question, yet don't end it as one. Do you, by any chance, mean As instead of Has? O.o Even then it doesn't make sense. Perhaps reword it?
Arriveing in the nearby
No 'e' in arriving. :)
the are driving up into the Noctowl Forest
I think you mean they. XD
But the highlight of the evening is the Wedding Ceremony at the Noctowl Shrine.,
A comma and a full stop at the end, you need to choose one. ;) XD
other will known trainer’s ,Gym leader’s, and Coordinator’s .
Misplaced space. :) Also, why don't you describe the bride and groom to us? You describe quite a few others, but why not them? They could be wearing something different to the standard white wedding gown, they could be as ugly as a female baboons butt when nearing fertility. (Not a sight I want to see EVER again. XD) Describe it a little more, use simalees, metaphors! Splurge a little, have some fun. Description is the icing on the cake. No icing, it doesn't taste as good. You don't need much. Just a sentence saying that the bride looked llike an angel in her _____ Would be something. XD
It is this, the mistakes of the pass who the Bride and Groom wish to be cremated at this Wedding Ceremony at the Noctowl Shrine
I think you mean pas. XD
.. They are accompanied by a cast of 30,
It's better to write numbers out in full. Unless you go over a hundred and are pecific about the number. XD
The invited guests talking quietly and remarking on the once-again-perfect July weather
Ithink you need a 'were' between guests and talking. Otherwise it doesn't really make sense.
and stationery use by the invited guests
Used, not use. Past tense. XD
Our Weeding fire awaits the Brides and Grooms coffin of past mistakes!"
XD Sorry, this mistake made me crack a smile. I think you mean 'wedding'. XD
Behold, the Ferry
Remove the comma, otherwise it sounds like the ferry is named behold. Which I don't think was what you were aiming for. XD
of a barcarole Listening to the barcarole
Missing a full stop, and you don't need to repeat Baracole. By mentioning the Baracole, you direct our attention onto it and all you need to say is listening tothe gentle music, or something like that. Which leads me to another point. You kinda need to describe the music as well. We have no clue what a baracole is. At least, I don't. So take the liberty and explain how it sounds like so ingnorent people like me can figure out what on earth you are talking about. XD
is only one fire that can overcome the this couples enemy of Care
Get rid of the 'this'. :) An apostraphy is needed to show possession between the e and s in couples. :)
"Hail, their union," he concludes!"
You don't need the last speech mark. :)
some 50 minutes after the march began, the quiet onlookers on the other side of the lake begin to come alive. After all, it is a night for rejoicing Has the Bride and Groom
The same point as earlier, it is better to write out numbers. :)
Has for the Bride and Groom
I think you mean 'As'. XD
Unfortunately, the amount of errors destroyed the flow of your story for me, and I spent most of the time scrolling down here and quoting another error. :/ You really need to read through the piece before posting, or things like this can happen and put off readers. Othe than that, it is a neat idea! Some more description could maybe be fit in when describing the bride and groom, and the lake. Like I said, spluge a little on the description. It adds to your story, and is vital for a professional piece of work. :) But don't go over board, either. Settle in the middle. Check out some of the recommened fics for examples, if you wish. :)
All in all, pretty good. Just read thrtough it next time! XD Have a nice day!