Max Birch's Journey!

Started by HikozaruLover May 29th, 2006 7:22 AM
  • 821 views
  • 8 replies
Dunno,mabye in comic world
Seen November 20th, 2006
Posted November 20th, 2006
278 posts
17 Years
Hi,BonslyLover here to bring you a new fanfic.

Characters:
Max Birch(10)
May Birch(12)
Prof.Birch(32)
Ash Ketchem(12)
Brendan Maple(12)
Linda Lun(10)

Chapter 1:
The Adventure Begins!

*RIINNNNGGG!RRIINNGGG!*
"Wake Up!"Said May."Okay!"Said Max."You have to get your first Pokemon!"Said May."I Know!"said Max."Max,I have a suprise for you!"Said the Professer."Okay,coming Dad."Said Max.Then as Max walked down the stairs,Prof.Birch said that the suprise was a pokemon."What Pokemon?"Asked Max."Mudkip".Said Professer Birch."GIVE ME IT!"Yelled Max."OKAY,okay."said the Prof.,giving Max the pokeball.

As Max walked out of the house,he saw his rival from trainer school,Linda Lun.
"Hi,Max."said Linda."Hi,Linda".said Max.The reason they're rivals is because when they took battle exams,Linda was chosen to battle Max,and Linda won.

"I wanna rematch!"Said Max.
"Okay,Go!Seedot!"Said Linda,throwing out Seedot's Pokeball.
"seedot!"Said Seedot.

"Oh,Go!Mudkip!"said Max,throwing out Mudkip's Pokeball.

"muudddkkkkiiippp!"said Mudkip.

"Mudkip!Tackle!
mud!
"Seedot,Bide!
See!
Mudkip,Mudslap!
mud!
seeeedd!
"Mudkip,another Mudslap!

"No!Seedot Return!"

"Yay!Good job,return!"
And so,Max's adventure has just begun,tune in for Chapter2!
Thanks Haunter Master

<-Da Best Comic Eva!
Age 31
On The Back Of My Swellow
Seen July 8th, 2006
Posted June 27th, 2006
556 posts
18.1 Years
Its Weird as it isnt long enough to the whole first chapter and the speech is weird also

I think you would need to re write this at proper length in word or something as this is way too short ^_^

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Dunno,mabye in comic world
Seen November 20th, 2006
Posted November 20th, 2006
278 posts
17 Years
Its Weird as it isnt long enough to the whole first chapter and the speech is weird also

I think you would need to re write this at proper length in word or something as this is way too short ^_^
Okay,I'll fix it,thanks for telling me!
EDIT:Here's chapter 2!

Chapter 2
Max Catches a Pokemon!

Now,our hero Max,and his pal Mudkip,are at route 101.
Max stared at some trainers battling pokemon.
"I want a pokemon!"Exclamed a little girl to her Dad.
"Okay,okay."The dad said.

Then Max was attacked by a happy Ziggzagoon.
"Whoa!"Exclamed Max"Go!Mudkip!"
"Mud!"
"Mudkip,Mudslap!"Commanded Max.
"MuudddKIP!"
Then,the Ziggzagoon used a tackle attack and Mudkip fainted.
"Okay then,Go!Pokeball!"
"Bomp,VRUM!"went the pokeball
"C'mon,c'mon!"
"DING!"
"Yay"
Then,Max went to Oldale Town,Healed his Mudkip,and went to the Pokemart
"Hi,I would like 5 pokeballs and 4 potions please"Max Told The clerk.
"Here,that will be 1,800 pokedollars please"The clerk said to Max.
"Here"Said Max,handing the clerk the money.
Then as Max left Oldale Town,Linda came around the corner.
"Hi Max"Linda said to Max.
"Hi"Max said back.
"I want a rematch!"Exclamed Linda.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Thanks Haunter Master

<-Da Best Comic Eva!

Lord Mike

Most Loyal Colts Fan on Earth

Lucas Oil Stadium
Seen December 6th, 2011
Posted June 11th, 2010
2,153 posts
17 Years
Its way to short to even be a chapter if you ask me.
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Dunno,mabye in comic world
Seen November 20th, 2006
Posted November 20th, 2006
278 posts
17 Years
Your grammar is the worst thing I've ever seen and frankly, it makes me want to die.

Aside from that, Birch isn't Max's last name and he's said many times that he wants a Treecko.
First of,I made the story,so Max got a Mudkip,And his last name is Birch
Second,I am only as old as Max,10
Thanks Haunter Master

<-Da Best Comic Eva!

Lord Mike

Most Loyal Colts Fan on Earth

Lucas Oil Stadium
Seen December 6th, 2011
Posted June 11th, 2010
2,153 posts
17 Years
First of,I made the story,so Max got a Mudkip,And his last name is Birch
Second,I am only as old as Max,10
You should still try to make an effort though. When I was 10 I could use grammar correctly.
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