A vicious love gone wrong

Started by iwoulddieforpikachu! May 30th, 2006 10:17 AM
  • 517 views
  • 2 replies
Age 30
Female
With phantom_zangetsu ^.~
Seen March 7th, 2014
Posted July 24th, 2011
238 posts
18.2 Years
Its a short, but actually is a good poem. ^_^ On the 4th line Rip should ripped. Alot of errors in you poem. Capitalizations and commas...

Spoiler:
~*~My PC Family~*~
~My pair: phantom_zangetsu , My Big Sisters .: Dreamer :., Midori Chi, My father Cybex Mewtwo, my brother karasuma My brother-in-law code zero the deluge~


Age 34
Female
Fargo, ND
Seen October 18th, 2013
Posted March 9th, 2010
893 posts
17.8 Years
It's definatly a decent poem, but you made a lot of basic errors. Lots of punctuation and grammatical errors. That, and the flow and rhythm are very choppy and off. Try and make your poem flow. If you read it out loud, it should just flow, and it's hard to describe it any other way. *ponders* Almost like it could be sung to a nice, even tune.

Keep trying!

Who's that returning from the depths of forum ghosts past? Oh! It's me!