The Great Shadow

Started by SuperGuy June 1st, 2006 12:26 PM
  • 418 views
  • 2 replies
Age 30
Elsewhere
Seen March 2nd, 2007
Posted March 2nd, 2007
101 posts
17.1 Years
The Great Shadow
Chapter 1
>Kade was travleing with his party of pokemon (Dragonair, which was his starter pokemon that his dad got him, Noctowl, Rapidash, and Kadabra) when The Great Shadow Spread over the Johto region. he was just leaving Ecruteak City on his way to Olivine City when it happened. It was just 7:04AM, so the sun was still rising when the darkness came. He remembered Grampa telling him the story
*Flashback*
>"I can recall a story, if you want to listen," Grampa said. Kade always loved Grampa's stories. the eager 5 year old lied there, in his bed, intently, as if in a trance. >"It is about the two gods of the night and the sky back when they were kids, they were the best of friends. So close, that they even chose the same starter pokemon, and their only pokemon, Eevee. But they started to drift apart. One became obsessed with evil and darkness, his Eevee evolved into an Umbreon. He is now the God fo the Night. The other favored goodness and light, his Eevee evolved into an Espeon. He is now the God of the Day." >Grampa told his stories so well, every second seemed like a cliffhanger with you hanging on with your pinky. "On the great syzygy of the Earth, the Moon, and the Sun, The Night God will overtake The Day God and the world would be coverd in shadows. Pokemon will betray their owners and attack their trainers. the world would be in constant pandemonium for 25 hours, 17 minutes, and 13 seconds." *Flashback ends*
>"Oh no," Kade whispers to himself. "The Great Shadow has begun." >Just then Kadabra, Rapidash, and Noctowl release themselves from their pokeballs. When Kade looks at them, he sees their eyes are red. Only red. "Go, Draco," Kade shouts as he hurls a pokeball out in frount of him. Why hasn't Draco betrayed me yet, thinks Kade as he gets ready to battle.

>= New paragraph
Green = What Grampa said
Red = What Kade said
Italics= What was thought
I claim::t027::t028::t244:
<-- thx MiSsKoN thx maneachicken for the sprite
SuperGuy's PokePet

Elektron the level 76 Elekiburu!



WOOOO! MONSTERS!

Margot

some things are that simple

they/he
Seen April 16th, 2022
Posted February 25th, 2019
3,662 posts
17.3 Years
Ok, you don't need to have a key for what each person is saying if you would break off sections into paragraphs. Also something like "Go Draco" said Kade, lets the reader know Kade was talking. Plus if you're going to have a key at least put it in the beggining. A little more description and paragraphs would help a lot and this story does have potential though and it would be great if you made some changes^_________^ hope to see more ;)