Fairy tales

Started by fallen_angel June 14th, 2006 2:54 PM
  • 662 views
  • 5 replies
Age 30
Female
With phantom_zangetsu ^.~
Seen March 7th, 2014
Posted July 24th, 2011
238 posts
18.2 Years
I wrote this while in the library. I hope you like it..please tell me how to improve it if you can.

I don't believe in fairy tales
they're dreams that can never set sail,
was what I always thought.

Fairy tales cannot be real
lock them up with a seal,
burn them, trash them, let's make a deal.

Take them far away from me
so that I can never again see
the words that make me me.

Hopeful thinking it could be true
but its gone without further adieu,
leaving me hollow and empty.

Spoiler:
~*~My PC Family~*~
~My pair: phantom_zangetsu , My Big Sisters .: Dreamer :., Midori Chi, My father Cybex Mewtwo, my brother karasuma My brother-in-law code zero the deluge~


Age 31
together with fallen,ontop of shukaku's head
Seen December 9th, 2008
Posted April 28th, 2007
517 posts
17.8 Years
yay no homework.......time to check on fallen-kun's poem:

hmm...as far as i can tell, i only saw one error.....the poem reminds me of my old school poetry tactics......hehe.....dont mind that.....

i like it! kind of thinking that she'll be a fairy tale too.....haha! you know who right fallen? hehe....


lovingly and forever paired with the one and only, fallen_angel


~pHaNt0m~
Age 33
USA
Seen October 29th, 2006
Posted July 16th, 2006
1,152 posts
17.9 Years
I wrote this while in the library. I hope you like it..please tell me how to improve it if you can.

I don't believe in fairy tales
they're dreams that can never set sail,
was what I always thought.

Fairy tales cannot be real
lock them up with a seal,
burn them, trash them, let's make a deal.

Take them far away from me
so that I can never again see
the words that make me me.

Hopeful thinking it could be true
but its gone without further adieu,
leaving me hollow and empty.
"was what I always thought?"...I think you need to fix that. Also maybe you shouldn't use "me me." Other than those couple of errors it's good. Although I kinda disagree unless you fantasize about some knight in shining armor riding up to you in your toy castle. More on the lines for me is like...meeting the girl of my dreams. That's possible. Not likely right now, but possible. LOL.


If you are a fan: