A wonderful word of advice to reviewers. Don't just list of what the author did wrong. How about actually giving them advice they could use? Just saying that "your grammar is absoulte trite, use a word processor" doesn't really help much about the actual story.
Thanks for the advice, and I might have done that, except for the fact that the block format confused me so much that I couldn't even really get an impression of the fic. And I'm only just making the transition to a serious reviewer... thanks, I'll take your advice to heart. (By the way, I had no clue what 'trite' meant until you posted that...)
Incidentally, I do think that one serious bit of advice I can give here is to make sure that when you continue writing, ChromeAngel, you do not under any circumstances make your characters conform to stereotype OT standards. What do I mean by that? Well, here's a quick list of things you should avoid:
Always winning battles, even against much more powerful trainers: This one is huge. Show logic in battles- after all, to use an example given by Dragonfree, "A level three Caterpie isn't going to beat a level seventy Dragonite". (At least, I think that was the quote...)
Always being unfailingly heroic and pure of heart: To quote from the Bible, "For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God..." (Romans 3:23). The basic message there is that no real person is perfect. The more your character acts perfect, the more unbelievable (and annoying) he becomes. Make sure to add flaws to your character- even if they're overused ones like pervertedness, or humorous ones, at least your character will seem more human.
Being dark for the sake of being dark: On the other side of the spectrum, creating a complete moral sinkhole isn't the best idea either, especially if they act all "emo". Only a select group of people can be emo, and all the rest of us have to deal with that, no matter how good we look in black.
Having a tragic past that does not unduly affect them: If your character was beaten or abused by their parents, their favorite sister died, or their dog/Poochyena was hit by a car on their fifth birthday, they are going to have emotional scars. Remember the emo people I was talking about before? These are them.
Being a "Chosen One": Umm... if a fic is set in the anime universe, this one is really stupid to implement, as Ash is already the chosen one... but on top of that making your character a chosen one is really dumb since you have just let your reader know that they will undoubtedly win, and to add to that most "chosen one" characters tend to have special abilities, which really add nothing to the story... except maybe a few negative numbers on the rating scale.
Since your story hasn't moved very far yet, you don't have a problem with these issues yet, but as you move on and explore the characters' personalities a bit, make sure that you avoid these characters. Oh, and by the way, if you want a better guide then mine, Dragonfree of "The Cave of Dragonflies" has an excellent one on her site.
A final note: If you move on, make absolultely certain that you do SOME character exploration... if you just move your character around without giving us any idea who he is, you'll make him flat, which is almost worse then stereotyping him.