First off, aren't Premature Burial and Call of the Haunted restricted to one per deck? You've got two of both there. Second, this deck is seriously dysfuntional as you can hardly beat anything in battle unless you get Mystical Plasma Zone or Axe of Despair (lol) out on the field, and you've only got two pieces of monster removal (Karma Cut and Medusa Worm) one of which is negated by Jinzo, Royal Decree, Cyber Phoenix, or just plain Book of Moon and the second which will be left blatantly undefended because the only cards you can block attacks with are Negate Attack and Waboku. Silly card choices include Shooting Star Bow - Ceal (As you have practically nothing with which to cover the equiped monster), Magical Thorn (As you are running a bunch of spell cards yourself and will suffer far more from the LP loss than your opponent), Criosphinx (Why bother taking that along when you've already got a bunch of Dons and two Robbin' Goblins for discarding with only one Guardian Sphinx to do the bouncing? xP), chosing Giant Rat for a recruiter when you have only two Earth monsters but a whole bunch of dark ones also makes no sense. Mystic Tomato, please.
Silly exclusions, on the other hand, include Graceful Charity (Useful for basically any deck), Spirit Reaper (Come on, this deck is practically crying for it! xO) and standard monster removal like Newdoria and Exiled Force.
Basically, this deck is built very heavily on discarding yet you have added virtually nothing with which to clear out the monsters that prevent you from dealing the LP damage necessary for such discards and you're so weak defensively (Without even Messenger of Peace or Swords of Revealing Light to block attacks against you) that you'll be hopelessly run over.
The way I see it:
- 1x Gorg the Strong
- 1x Cliff the Trap Remover
- 2x Giant Rat
- 1x Shooting Star Bow - Ceal
- 2x Magical Thorn
- 1x Premature Burial
- 1x Call of the Haunted
- 2x Needle Worm
- 1x Criosphinx
- 1x Mystical Plasma Zone
- 1x Axe of Despair
- 2x Robbin' Zombie
- 1x Carma Cut
+ 3x Mystic Tomato
+ 2x Chick the Yellow
+ 1x Mustering of the Dark Scorpions
+ 1x Dark Scorpion Combination
+ 2x Smashing Ground
+ 3x Messenger of Peace
+ 1x Swords of Revealing Light
+ 3x Golem Sentry
+ 1x Spirit Reaper
Well, that's how I see it. Basically you'll want to lock down the field with SoRL or Mesenger of Peace and bounce away potential treaths with either Golem Sentry or Guardian Sphinx to grant your dark scorpions a clear shot. With Robbin' Goblin for support you should be able to pretty much wipe out your opponent's hand. Even though it is a bit situational, Mustering of the Dark Scorpions can potentially let you swarm the field with dark scorpions early in the game and hit the cards in your opponent's hand early on. For thematic purposes, I also added in Chick the Yellow and a single copy of the combination. It's not a very likely scenario, but you might just be able to pull that combo off and hit your opponent's deck hard. You've still got a major issue with darkworld decks, though, and even with all of these changes I still think it's missing something. :\ Oh well, that's for the better knowers to know. Oh, and do use the standard format in the future without all of these silly colours and placement things. Also, please declare how many cards of each category you've got. It makes it much easier to check the overall balance of the deck and suchlike. ^^
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