Juan's Story PG-17 (Extremely sad)

Started by Fallen Angel_Messiah Of Black Roses April 18th, 2007 7:56 PM
  • 488 views
  • 1 replies
Seen September 29th, 2017
Posted September 29th, 2009
1,613 posts
17.6 Years
I had to replace some censored words, you'll see

Juan was a sixteen year old Spaniard teen, he had velvet black hair and navy blue eyes, he was average height for his age and average weight as well. An all around average guy, well not completely. Juan was strange, he had a sickness that hadn't been heard of at the era.

Juan had an Anti-Social Disorder, and he was rued for it.

Juan had always stayed away from events, people and places. Easily got into fights, and stayed isolated for mass periods of time. Juan was considered a freak.

This is his story.


Juan woke up to the incredibly annoying sound of his alarm clock, it was time for another pointless day in society, to live in fear of others. To live being hated. And to live a considerably pointless life. He got out of his worn bed, the mattress was old. A freebie his mother had pawned at a nearby dump.

Juan sat up on the bed and waited to actually wake up, he could hear his mom in the kitchen, making coffee. Juan got off the bed and sluggishly walked into the houses restroom. He turned on the shower head and waited for it to warm up a little. No such luck, out of hot water. Damn. He stripped out of his clothes from yesterday.

Juan reluctantly stepped into the tub and made an aggressive tug at the shower curtain, making him be viewable no more. He washed himself and turned the shower knob, making the icy rain cease. He stepped out of the tub and into a stiff cotton towel, felt rough. “ Bish can't even buy decent towels.” He muttered angrily to himself, thats how he referred to his “lovable” Mother, after all it was one hundred percent true.

He pulled the stale towel around his skinny waist and made the expedition back to his room, he opened the sodden door and walked inside. Slamming the door behind him.

Juan pulled out a pair of boxers and put them on, he then grabbed a pair of scruff kneed blue jeans and slipped those on. He finished his “ensemble” with a plain white work out shirt, had a few holes in it. “ What a way to make a fashion statement.” He murmured to himself sarcastically.

Juan managed to pull himself down the stairs and into the kitchen, to face the Bish herself. To be mild, it was like being in the ring for twelve rounds with the Fugin hulk. The old bat kept complaining of how he looked like a mess and people would think he was some kind of druggie or so. Juan mearly blocked out her voice and found a bowel's worth of cereal crisp, the milk had obviously gone bad so he just ate it dry and rushed out of the house.

To be continued. Soon

Margot

some things are that simple

they/he
Seen April 16th, 2022
Posted February 25th, 2019
3,662 posts
17.3 Years
Hmm..it's an interesting story, but it seems like nothing is happening. You didn't give enough description about the characters or the setting. I only have a vague idea of how the Jaun looks, you didn't even describe his mother. It would also be nice to add how the house / neighborhood looked to add more to the story.

Another pointer, I can see that you're trying to make it a sad story, but it's really not flowing to well and some of your sentences didn't really make sense. Again, if you add more description, it could give us a better idea of what's really going on and how the character feels.

With a little work, this could be a decent story, good luck with your next chapters ^-^