Firstly, welcome to PokeCommunity!
Okay, let's see what we have here. It looks like you want to focus on the "lost" years of the Latis' lives. That's a great area to explore, because there's not much canon evidence about it!
To really get in readers, you have to make a good presentation. Center or bold the title of the chapter so that each one stands out. It'll just make your work look more professional.
Let me start off with the basic mechanics. You seem to have a lot of spelling and grammar errors throughout your fic. The spelling problems can be taken care of if you use a word processing program, such as Microsoft Word. The next problem is grammar. I know grammar is a tricky thing to learn, so I'll start off with something simple.
You need punctuation. Take a look through your first chapter. See how many full stops you have at the end of each sentence? You need them to make your work more grammatically correct. And hey, full stops allow for the reader to take a breath. I'll show you an example from your chapter:
I hope to whoever is to find these two pokemon is a loving and generous person the two which you see before are named Latias and Latios both are brother and sister Latias is the red one and Latios is the blue one I can only ask one thing out of whoever finds these two to take care of them with love and kindness they are pokemon babys at the moment but by tomorrow you will see human babys.
Read that sentence, stopping only at punctuation. Kind of hard to do so, right? See, punctuation helps that. And if you correctly punctuate it, it'll look something like so:
Originally Posted by grammar and spelling corrected
I hope to whomever is to find these two Pokemon is a loving and generous person. The two which you see before are you named Latias and Latios; both are brother and sister. Latias is the red one and Latios is the blue one. I can only ask one thing out of whomever finds these two: to take care of them with love and kindness. They are Pokemon babies at the moment but by tomorrow you will see human babies.
Better, neh? I think so. But that's not all. When you finish one sentence, and end it with a full stop/exclamation point/question mark, you capitalise the first word of the next sentence. And that's your grammar lesson for this chapter.
Next is the actual writing of the fic. You jump right into a scene of Kyle and Susan taking a walk along the beach. It's perfectly all right for you to start off like that, but slow down a bit to describe the setting. Until you actually say beach a few paragraphs below, I had no idea where Kyle and Susan were! And even though you do say beach, you should describe the beach. The color of the sand, the color of the water, the time of day... All those things will help the reader get more clarity of your story! And that's a good thing.
You know, you could also describe the feelings of the characters. It'll make them more human, and make your readers feel for the characters. If the readers feel for the characters, know them well enough that they feel like family, then readers will keep coming back! You want that, neh? So what to do? I'll show you through example:
Originally Posted by example
"Are you forgetting your scar now, Kyle? From that charizard last year?"
Kyle unconsciously touched his other arm. There, a long scar stretched the length of it. He remembered so well the roar of the red beast as it soared toward him on blue wings. He also remembered the moment of sharp pain, and the days of just recovering.
Not the best, but it shows you what I mean. ^-^
Well, I've given you a lot of advice to work with. Take a look around at the stickied threads of this section and the Writer's Lounge. Those are full of advice that can help! Same with reading other people's fanfiction. But most of all, keep practicing, using the advice that I've given you here. I'll check back in to see how you improved. Good luck to you!