Let's see... since I'm bored, I'm going to add something to this already insane story. Let me be pointed here- nothing in this chapter should be accepted as fact. In fact, nothing here should be accepted as fiction either. A mod should probably lock this story and temp-ban me for spamming this section with it. (DON'T! I DIDN'T MEAN IT! NOT REALLY!)
Anyway, for those of you with short attention spans and high adrenaline levels, here's the latest installment:
I swear this is true by me own three eyes.
It has taken me over a year to finally return to my computer. It is at last time for me to resume my vampire tale! Yes, I have triumphed against the feared witch known as "Mary-Sue", the deranged fiend "Wrytear's Blocck", and the dreadful slob known as "Thapay"! Now, once and for all, I shall bring my dreams to fruition and conquer the world! Once again, all shall tremble in fear of my iron pen! Yes! Yes! Ye- what is that? I'm sorry, I shall have to take this phone call first, but worry not. I shall return to this computer momentarily!
......
What's this? The vampire story my silly older brother has been getting so excited about? Ha! It's complete trash! More like a rubbish heap then a work of fine literature really. Let's see... alright, it's in the recycle bin. Now just right click the bin and select empty... oh wait, that's him coming back. I'd better distract him. Be back in a hurry.
.....
I can't believe it. My little sister swore she just saw Brian Jacques jump off the roof of our house and run away with my vampire story! Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't believe her at all, as she's a dreadful fibber, but the story
is completely missing from the file, and I know my little sister would never be quite stupid enough to delete it, the idiotic jumble of words she wrote in the first chapter notwithstanding. I'd better go chase after him, even if I am a firm admirer of Mr. Jacques- after all, he writes consistently, and has great taste in cheese. If you'll excuse me, I shall return in a moment.
.....
Ha! That got rid of him! Yep, my brother's easier to trick then a... then a.... then a bird! Yeah, easier then a bird! I guess that makes him a birdbrain! Ha! Birdbrain, that's B-I-R-D-brain! I mean, that is just about the dumbest trick ever, and he fell for it! "Brian Jacques ran off with your story" indeed. Ha! I've never even heard of Brian Jacques except when he was mentioned in passing during the second chapter in that essay on cheese! Speaking of that essay, I should probably get rid of that too. I mean, no self-respecting teacher would ever accept that lump of rubbish. It's a full half-page about cheese, for heaven's sakes! Cheese! Cheese, cheese, cheesey-cheese! I just like saying cheese! Cheese, cheese, cheese- oh, poopy, brother's back. Did you catch that mean Mr. Jacques, big brother? No, I suppose you didn't. He's quite fast for an old geezer. What do you mean, you need to borrow my bike? No, you can't, it's mine. Get your own bike. You mean he stole yours? Did he really? What do you mean, I told you that? No I didn't! You just think he did! Your bike is behind the old woodshed. Go get it! Go on!
Well, that's better. Now I can finally focus on my ultimate goal: getting revenge on my brother for deleting my super-cool-awesome-special-fudge-coated-triple-chocolated-dipped story. I am so gonna blast him into oblivion, even if I did delete his story first. Come on, let's see, where's that cheese essay... did he save it on the hard disk? No, he must have kept it in a floppy disk. Let's see, first I'll search through them. Is it in this one? Nope, that's Dad's recipes. How about that one? Or that one? Eh- this one has brother's handwriting on it! Got it, this is the one then. Alright, let's load it.
Come on, load up already....
That's better. Now it's completely loaded. Now, which one- hold on. There are, like, a million folders on this thing! Now I have to search through every single folder and look for it. Maybe I should rule out a few first, though. Let's see, "Final Fantasy Tracks"? No. "Shakespeare Quote Dictionary"? Nuh-uh. "Encyclopedia of incredibly long and sophisticated sounding words?" Nope. Oh wait, what's this? "Top ten manga-babes"? Jeez, brother's such a perv! Oh wait, maybe this one... or that one... or this one over here. Finally, got it! Oh wait, this is just his backup. Well, I'll delete that too. Hah, take that! I have the power. Now just it bit longer...
Um, big brother, how long have you been standing there looking over my shoulder?
What do you mean, "The whole time"?
Oh, you mean Brian Jacques lives in England?
Oh... poopy.