The Chronicles Of Keii

Started by Pokemon Breeder Zoria June 23rd, 2007 11:53 AM
  • 798 views
  • 4 replies
Seen January 12th, 2008
Posted January 6th, 2008
95 posts
16.3 Years
This is mainly a Fan Fic about Ash's little brother, Keii. Who is quite odd, a little childish, and very perverted. I hope you like it, this is my first Story... really. The other one I had was just quickly scribbled. =/ Also this is an 'Alternate Universe' fanfic.

Chapter 1
A 14-year-old boy looked around his room, running a hand through his black-and-red hair. The walls of his room were littered in drawings, drawings of pokemon, and drawings of battles. The clock read 10:00 PM, his usual bedtime. Tomorrow was his birthday. Tomorrow was the most important day of his life. Tomorrow was the day he would become a pokemon trainer. He climbed into bed and closed his eyes, wondering what tomorrow would bring him.

BEEP, BEEP, BEEP. An alarm went off. The boy sat up and smacked the alarm. He looked at the collar that was on his neck, it was jammed there, for when he was younger, he decided to try on Cloudy's collar, his mom's persain's collar, and it had jammed there. So now he just wears it, unwilling to cut it off. He jumped out of bed, not turning his alarm off. He grinned. What was this boy's name? Keii. Keii was your average 14-year-old boy; he loved Pokemon, and was a particularly large fan of his older brother, Ash Ketchum. He ran out of the room, so to come running back in and smash his alarm clock into the wall, though it was uncalled for, he didn't care, for he was going to be a pokemon trainer.

Keii threw on a red T-shirt with a skull on it, and after pulled on jeans and zipped up his fly. He searched through his closet and grabbed his trench coat, his favorite accessory, and put it on. He took his backpack, in which he would usually use for school, from the top of his closet and dumped all his textbooks and homework (which he never did) out of the bag, and started to pack some things. He crammed in a change of clothes, underwear, the potion that his mom had given him when he was younger, and his stuffed teddiursa. Couldn't forget teddy, now could we?

Keii ran down the stairs, but his mom grabbed him by the hand. "I won't let my little boy go without breakfast! You’re just like your brother, but at least you didn't go in your Pajamas." She said. Keii sighed. "Fine, fine..." He said. He jammed toast in the toaster and waited for it to pop. He grabbed the toast and crammed it into his mouth, wiping the crumbs off his mouth with his sleeve, he opened the door. "BYE MOM!" He yelled, before slamming the door. 'Mom' sighed.

Keii ran down the road, his trench coat flapping in the wind as he ran as fast as he could. He slid over to Prof. Oak's lab, to find a beautiful-looking female trainer gracefully walk out. He stared at her, being a pervert and all, he walked over to her. "Hey good lookin'." He said. The girl stared at him. She wore a pink dress, with a pink bandana with a red heart on it. Her hair was white, and patched with black and orange. She simply blinked. "Uhhh-Hello..." She said shyly. "Who are you? Oak just gave me his last Pokemon..." She said, her green eyes looked into his. Keii found himself drooling. He wiped the spit off his mouth and held out the other hand. "I'm Keii." He said. "My name is Usagi." She said, taking his hand and shaking it. "Anyways," Said Keii, changing the topic. "He gave away his last Pokemon? Aww man-"
"Here." She said, she handed him a pokeball. "It's okay; just remember that you owe me one."
Keii grinned and opened the Pokeball, nothing came out. He frowned. "You have to catch it, silly!" Said Usagi. She giggled and walked away. Great, Keii thought. Just lovely. He trudged into the lab.

"Greetings." Said Professor Oak. "I'm sorry Keii, but we just gave our last Pokemon away." He said, he handed him a Pokedex. "And, I'm fresh out of Pokeballs... you will have to try to get to Viridian city on your own."
"No, actually, this girl named Usagi was nice enough to give me a Pokeball." He said, distracted with the black Pokedex as he flipped it open. The pages were blank. He shut it and stuffed it in his pocket.
"Well, it is going to be very difficult to catch a pokemon without weakening it." Said Oak. "Oh well." Keii shrugged. "See ya, Oak! I want to get to Viridian by Dark!"
- - -
Keii found himself staring into the wilderness of Route 1. He swallowed his pride and set foot into the grass. There was so many winding turns that he didn't know what to do. He turned back and looked at Pallet town, his mom was waving at him from they're house. He waved back. He wasn't going to dissapoint his mom, not today, and not never. Unless he really HAD to. Anyways, he set out into the grass, and found himself facing a Pikachu. He stared at it. It scampered away, he never really liked Pikachus, not even his older brother's. He continued into the route, just to trip over something. He turned his head to see a Pidgey sitting there, picking at the ground. He thought, a pidgey would be awesome. He took out a cookie from his back and crumpled it up, making a trail to a bush, in which he hid in. The pidgey looked interested in the food. Keii threw rocks at it. It must of been pretty naive to keep on eating, even though the rocks /did/ hurt. One it got to the bush, it was caught by surprise. "Go, Pokeball!" Keii threw the Pokeball at the pidgey. The pidgey was sucked into the red light, and the pokeball landed on it's side. It wiggled. 1...2...3... ding! Keii thought something else was going to happen, but nothing did.

"YEAH! I CAUGHT MY FIRST POKEMON!!" His voice scared the Pidgeys out of they're trees. He picked up the Pokeball and released the Pokemon inside. "Come on out, Pidgey!" He said. The pidgey came out, and blinked. "Gey?"
"Hey, Pidgey, I'm your new trainer now."
Pidgey used Sand-attack in his face. Keii coughed. "Hey!" He said. The pidgey crossed it's wings. "Hmph. If your so smart, then what is your name?" He said. "Pidgey." Pidgey scraped a 'K' in the dirt. "Oh, okay. Let me guess... Kira? Kimmy? Kayanara?" Pidgey snickered at the last name. "Kiara?" Said Keii. Kiara nodded her head. "Oh gosh, of all the pokemon, it just has to be a saurcastic female, eh?" Said Keii. Kiara frowned at him disapprovingly and pecked his head. "Gosh, do you ever have issues.." Said Keii. He sniffed and sighed. "Okay, if we don't annoy eachother, we'll get along, deal?" He said. Kiara pondered, then nodded. "Gey." Keii gave a smile. "Then in that case, lets head to Viridian!" Kiara hopped onto his head. He continued the route, a smile plastered onto his face. He saw a girl sitting by a stream, he noticed those green eyes. It was Usagi! He tried to brush back the tuft of hair on his head, but it still poofed out. He approached her, anyways. "Hey, sweet thang." He said. Usagi glared at him. "Excuse me?" She said. A Skitty near her was munching away at it's food. In fact, Kiara's stomach growled. "I'm suprised you were actually able to catch a pokemon..." She insulted. Keii snarled. "At least I don't go crawling to some professor, asking for a Pokemon." He said. Kiara rolled her eyes and flew in front of the two to break them up. "And, I don't have any money to repay the pokeball..." He said uselessly.

"No money?!" She said. "Fine, I'll just follow you around untill you find some." She said flatly. "Well, that was rather quickly decided." Said Keii. He ruffled his hair, then at the thought of having some pretty girl follow him, he grinned. Kiara, meanwhile, and swooped in and was nibbling at the last bit of food Skitty had. Skitty batted her away, but Kiara had already eaten all that was left. Kiara let out a small 'burp' noise. Skitty didn't find it very funny, but it was reluctant to fight, so it just sat there. Keii splashed his face with stream water, drenching his face.

Suddenly, Usagi pointed to his right eye. “Hey, where did that scar come from?” She questioned. “Well, I, uh, I kinda got it when I was fighting with some kid at school, he scraped it right across my eye.” He said. Usagi looked at him. “Ohh. Okay.” She said, then she smiled. “It’s getting dark out,” She said. “Uhhh… I guess it is.” Said Keii. “Lets rest here for the night, I was hoping to get to Viridian, but, we can’t see anything around us…” He pointed out. Usagi gave a nod. She picked up skitty and returned her.

“Kiara, your not gonna be a pest and stay out of your pokeball, are you?” Questioned Keii. Kiara grinned, and nodded it’s brown head. Keii sighed in frustration. “Fine then.” He said. He just noticed he never really brought any sleeping bag. He looked over at Usagi’a warm tent. He lowered his head, and surprisingly, she looked at him. “Well, come on! What are you waiting for?” She said. Keii looked at her, and wandered over to the tent. He lay down in the bed on his half. “Wow, dosen’t this take up too much room?” He asked. “Nope.” Was simply Usagi’s answer. “Could you go out for a minute?” She asked. Keii stepped out, and stood beside the tent. The tent had no Zipper.

Usagi began to get undressed. Keii poked his head in the tent, and blinked. Usagi never noticed. Soon enough, she was in PJ’s. “You can come in!” She said. Keii walked in, satisfied at what he had just seen. Kiara obviously thought, and knew that he was a pervert. Keii got into his bed, once again, facing Usagi. Usagi got in, but faced away from him.

What awaited the two heroes tomorrow? Stay tuned!
Spoiler:

Pokemon Breeder Zoria, Master Of Normal Types

Proud Member Of The Shiny Hunters Club!

Shinies: None


Hunting for S. Drifloon and S. Zapdos.

Claimed Pokemon//[Spearow][Fearow][Persian]

Claimed People: [Retasu from Tokyo Mew Mew]['Miles' Tails from Sonic][Naraku from Inuyasha]

Indiana, land of corn!
Seen August 6th, 2008
Posted July 22nd, 2007
320 posts
16.1 Years
It's a pretty good fic, though Keii doesn't seem like a nine year old to me...From the skull on his shirt to the peeking in on Usagi, he seems at least 13 or 14.


*My Claims*

----------------------------
What a Fool Believes-The Doobie Brothers
Roll with the Changes-REO Speedwagon
Grand Illusion-Styx
Age 36
Seen 14 Hours Ago
Posted 2 Days Ago
Mr. Altosax raised up a good point. Keii doesn't strike me as a 10-year-old, especially a Ketchum 10-year-old. Ash was, and still is, a rather dense little fellow, and his mom is rather "off" as well. Unless Keii is the "weird" child of the family.

And speaking of family, is there some real reason that he is related to Ash Ketchum of all canon characters? According to all sorts of canon, Ash doesn't have any siblings. So, sorry to say, but "breaking" canon as you are doing in this story turns off some readers. You have to ask yourself if there is any reason why Keii needs to be a Ketchum. Is it a central reason to the plot? If there is, then you might want to warn readers that this is an "Alternate Universe" fic, that breaks some rules of canon.

There are also a few qualms with the grammar part of this. You should start a new paragraph whenever someone talks. Like Keii will say something, and what his mother responds with should go into another paragraph. There were also some spelling errors.

Now as for the plot, this just seems like a rehash of the anime plot. There are some original parts, and it was good that you didn't give Keii a Pikachu. In fact, you made him dislike them! Good stuff there. But Usagii being found next to the stream and following him just to be paid back for lending him something...that reads too much like Misty.

You're a good writer, that I can say. It's just that there are a few problems with this story that need to be worked out.

Avatar credit: Fairy
Seen January 12th, 2008
Posted January 6th, 2008
95 posts
16.3 Years
The second part is so close to being done, it should be finished by the end of today, or early tommorow.

Yes, Yes. Keii is quite odd for a Ketchum, I have to agree. The 'odd' child of the family like Hakano said. And I'll keep your tips in mind, it's time to change the plot a little.

EDIT: I have alot of free time since I have no more school, for the summer, so the chapters are going to come very quickly!
Spoiler:

Pokemon Breeder Zoria, Master Of Normal Types

Proud Member Of The Shiny Hunters Club!

Shinies: None


Hunting for S. Drifloon and S. Zapdos.

Claimed Pokemon//[Spearow][Fearow][Persian]

Claimed People: [Retasu from Tokyo Mew Mew]['Miles' Tails from Sonic][Naraku from Inuyasha]