Treecko and Champ: Orre

Started by Dachampster June 26th, 2007 1:04 PM
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(I minus well see if you like it..) My story

Seen October 27th, 2012
Posted March 24th, 2012
128 posts
15.9 Years
Chapter 1: A True Friend

Champ stood still, letting the cool ocean breeze run through his clothes. His green collared button shirt flapped around on his short body, making his whole torso cool. The breeze floated through him, relaxing him. His dark blue jeans flapped as well. Champ rested his elbow onto the railing that lined the deck of the huge SS Orre, the ship he was traveling in.

The ship was huge, with seven floors of passenger cabins. The black bottom of the ship sliced though the waves, parting them with ease. The waves splashed against the sides of the bottom. The words “SS Orre” were boldly printed in red on the middle of the boat, huge enough to see from a mile. Two giant smokestacks stuck out proudly at the top, spewing black smoke into the night sky. The top deck was huge as well, with bars and pools, this wasn’t just a moving ship, and this was a cruise. Champ had had a long day, so he had no time to play around in the pool.

He had spent the day packing up and unloading his stuff back in Hoenn. The small streets of his little town of Littleroot were filled with people waving goodbye. He had unloaded, and rode in the van for two hours before arriving at Slateport City, a busy city with a bustling marketplace. The ports were full of boats, and Pokémon Coordinators rushed across the street, looking to register in a Pokémon Contest. The town was the busiest place he had ever seen before.

Next, he had to wait while all of the messy work was done, and they got onto the boat. They took off, as the sun went down, and departed for Orre.
Champ looked up at the whitish moon and the uncountable stars. Not even the smartest Alakazam or Xatu could ever guess how many were up there. They could gaze up at the stars and calculate, gazing and calculating, but they would never guess right. The clear sky seemed endless there, on the ocean. There were no trees or buildings to block it. There was less pollution, so the clear skies looked even clearer.

“Treecko, tree!” said a little Pokémon. Champ smiled, and began to study his best pal once more.

It was a small little creature, green with a reddish pink belly and chin. It had two tails, fused together as one, that had a dark green color. It had round hooks on all of its fingertips and toes. Treecko yawned, climbing onto Champ’s shoulder. Treecko curled up, clinging onto Champ’s arm. Champ smiled even more. This was his unbeatable pal. In his old home of Littleroot, he had been alone before he had found Treecko. Champ began to relive the events of that time in his head…

It was a lousy evening, bad for any outdoor activities. The sky was gray with clouds, and rain poured down hard on the roof of Champs’ family’s roof. The rain was unceasing, and slowly flooded the streets of Littleroot. Even from inside, Champ could hear the drains, slurping gallons of rain up into their depths, where Grimer and Muk are rumored to hang out. The small backyard was completely reduced to a mere mud pile, and the muddy, humid smell wafted throughout the town. Champ’s window was foggy from condensation, as he watched the whole town slowly turn to dull gray fog.

Champ turned away from the window. He slowly walked around his small room, the floor littered with books on different Pokémon. His study desk had a computer on it, a fairly large one at that. The computer showed a website on the migration patterns of Swablu. Online Pokedex printouts of different Pokémon completely covered the walls, and even took up some of the ceiling and closet. His bed was unmade, and his favorite book- The Adventures of Treecko and Houndour, was sitting on the covers, unfinished. Champ picked up the book. He would have to finish it later. He bookmarked his page and put it in his bookcase. Champ yawned sleepily, and took a quick glance at his Pokémon clock, shaped like a Pokéball. The time display was on the red part of the Pokéball, and the date was displayed on the white bottom. It was 8:34 PM. Champ knew that it was getting dark fast. Another day gone by- he had spent the whole day on his computer.

Suddenly, Champ heard a cry outside of the window. It was a medium-high pitched cry, a cry of a Treecko. Champ knew from his studies, which Pokémon made which cry. He could even differentiate the cries of an Onix and Steelix, one of the hardest tasks in voice recognizing.

“Treecko!” the voice cried out again. Champ rushed to the window and opened it, looking for the source of the sound. Rain blew into Champ’s face, forcing him to squint. There, on the side of the street! A small, green head with a reddish-pink neck was sliding down the edge of the street, carried by the rainwater. A thick green tail protruded from the water in front of the head. The rest of the Treecko’s body was hidden by brown water. It was out of control, as it floated quickly down the street, about fifty yards away from a drain. It was going to fall into the drain!

Champ slammed the window down and sprinted toward the door. He barged out of the room and flew down the stairs at a strangely fast pace for his stocky build. He sped past the living room where his parents were watching TV, and opened the front door. Rain blew inside, nearly blinding him now. Champ rushed toward the little green Pokémon as it was sucked into the drain.

Too late.

Treecko slipped into the drain, screaming for help. Champ looked down into the drain to find the eyes of a Muk staring back at him. Treecko was doomed. It was stuck in the drain with a Muk, and apparently, it couldn’t swim either. Champ nervously stuck his foot down the narrow pass of the drain. He couldn’t feel the bottom. He would have to get help. Champ tried to pull his foot out so that he could run and get help, but it was a bad idea trying that in the rain. Champ felt his feet sweep out from underneath him, and his legs slid into the drain, in reach of the Muk.

“Muk!” the purple blob of deformed goo roared. The monster -like low tone of its voice seemed scary in person to Champ. The Muk reached up with its big hands and grabbed Champ’s right foot.

“Ahh!” Champ yelped, fearful that the monster would rip his legs off. He swung his left leg and kicked Muk’s arm, not remembering his studies about Muk. His left leg sunk into Muk’s arm, pulling Champ’s torso into the water. Champ’s nice shirt was ruined in the muddy water, now soaking his whole body. Champ sucked in his gut, and slid into the drain, jumping on top of Muk. He fell about a six and a half feet down and landed on top of Muk. Unfortunately, he landed into Muk’s mouth. Champ nearly threw up at the pure odor of Muk’s breath. He held his nose and looked around for Treecko. The green Pokémon was hiding cleverly underneath Muk’s tongue, holding its nose as well. Why hide in a Muk’s mouth? Regardless, Champ reached down and tried to pick up Treecko…

Smack!

Muk’s mouth smacked shut, sealing Treecko and Champ’s arm inside. Champ felt through the disgusting creature’s mouth, and relocated Treecko. He heaved his arm out of Muk, flinging bits of disgusting goo all over the already nasty drainage area. Treecko hopped onto Champ’s shoulder.

“Treecko tree!” it cried, as Muk prepared itself for a Body Slam. Muk stretched its body as far up in the air as it could, and spread its arms out.

“Wah!” Champ yelled, trying to jump up to reach the top. Water continued to pour down the drain, making the job of getting up harder than it already was. Muk slammed down, just inches away from hitting Champ and Treecko. Water poured onto Muk, slowing it down enough for Champ to escape. Water poured on Champ’s face as he tried to pull
himself up. He hoped that his glasses wouldn’t fall off. Treecko clung harder onto Champ’s shoulder, blocking some of the water from hitting it hard with its thick tail. Champ gave a final push, and they both emerged on the surface.

“Treecko, tree Treecko!” Treecko thanked him. It wiped some slime off of its face and smiled. Champ understood what Treecko had said, and replied,

“It’s ok. Couldn’t just watch you drown.”

Champ started to walk back, exhausted and panting for breath, to change his clothes. Then it hit him. Treecko was a rare Pokémon that rarely wandered the streets, and Champ had just saved its life! Champ could have just made a new friend! He turned back, but Treecko had vanished as suddenly as it had came. Champ frowned. What a great chance to make a new friend! Now he would have to wait months until he turned ten and got his Pokedex.

That night, while finishing The Adventures of Treecko and Houndour in bed, Champ wondered. Why would a rare forest Pokémon that loved nature hang out in Littleroot Town? There had to be a logical reason. This Treecko had looked smaller than regular Treecko; perhaps maybe it was a mere youth? Maybe it was looking for its family, or looking for a trainer. Champ came to one conclusion. It must still be out there.

Champ got out of bed, once again bookmarking his page, and grabbed a coat out of his closet. He ran downstairs, and searched for a flashlight. He hoped that his parents were still in the living room watching TV. He sped into the kitchen, and was welcomed by the aroma of dinner wafting through the room. Champ opened a cabinet above the stove and took out a flashlight. He ran out of the kitchen and out the door. The rain had stopped Champ looked around his street- Birch Road. He looked around trashcans and cars. He checked small alleyways and waved his flashlight around. There! Treecko was sitting in an alleyway. However, a big kid was standing over it. His Muk looked like the one that Champ had faced earlier.

The kid had a orange hat on, and blonde hair showed through underneath. He had a grimy shirt, ripped to tatters, with grimy pants, also ripped in places. His shoes were no better.

“You worthless Pokémon! You better not ever run away from me ever again! Muk, teach Treecko a lesson.” The kid threatened. Muk rose up to Body Slam Treecko. Champ sprung into action. He sprinted right underneath Muk and pushed Treecko out of the way. Muk’s massive body slammed onto Champ, engulfing him in suffocating goo. Champ tried to hold himself up, but with one more groan of pain, he collapsed.

Champ’s lungs were about to burst. He could just barely summon enough breath to gasp,

“Run…”

Treecko dashed off, on all four legs, out of the alleyway as Champ suffered as Muk’s poisonous goo seeped slowly into his skin, sending cold chills all throughout his body. He closed his mouth as Muk’s body engulfed his face.

“I’m doomed,” he thought. “It’s all over. I saved Treecko, but I guess I’ll never get to be its friend…”

“Muk, return,” the kid called back Muk, and the glob of goo slowly backed off of Champ. Muk let out a roar of protest- it couldn’t just let an opponent that had yet to be finished off go. “Treecko, get back here!”

“Muk?” it asked the boy, with a huge frown. The boy answered his Muk in the most ruthless reason possible.

“I want him to suffer. I don't want the cops on our case either.” The boy and his Muk left, watching Champ suffer as they did so.

Champ felt cold goo oozing inside him. It wasn’t into his bloodstream yet, only in his arms and legs. He couldn't believe the way that kid treated Pokémon.

He couldn’t move. The pain started to kick in, with fiery-cold chills shooting through him. He cried out, to no one in particular to save him. The Muk’s goo was so heavy and thick that it stayed in one place, moving very slowly. Champ could even see the goo in his arms. He realized one thing. If he didn’t get help soon, he could die. He was poisoned, just like the Pokémon battles on TV. They would get poisoned, and the trainer would call them back, so they can rest inside their Pokéballs. Or, the trainer would tell them to use some healing move, and they’d be instantly healed. The poison didn’t kill a Pokémon. It never did. Nevertheless, a Pokémon’s poison had some serious effects on humans.

Champ couldn’t yell anymore. He couldn’t roll. He was helpless. It was probably near ten, and his parents would be looking for him. However, this alleyway was far from his house, and by the time his parents found him, it would be too late.

“Treecko!”

The voice sounded better than before to Champ. Treecko had come back for him. Champ was so filled with joy that he could cry. Treecko ran up to Champ’s face and studied the pain surging through him, and concluded that he must have been hurt. Treecko examined Champ’s body. It saw the poison.

Treecko knew what to do. It bent down, head down to Champ’s arm, and opened its mouth. It bit down hard on his arm, sending more pain through Champ, and spat out a wad of goo onto the ground. Treecko repeated this about five times before moving on. As Treecko worked, Champ felt more and more relief, but he still couldn’t move. He couldn’t believe it. Usually, Pokémon were in trouble and humans had to help them, but now, a human was in trouble and a Pokémon had to help. This Treecko was special. It knew how to operate on poisoned humans without any tools, and it hung out around town. Champ summoned up all of his strength to talk.

“Thank you.” He said, wishing he could embrace his savior. Treecko shrugged and answered him plainly,

“Treecko tree.” Treecko finished sucking the poison out of Champ’s legs.

Champ knew what Treecko had said. It had simply said, “We’re even now.”.

Treecko had even wiped the goo off of Champ’s clothes for him. It had taken only three hours for Champ’s system to recover from the slight bit of poison that was left. That Treecko was truly amazing. It was dawn now, and the sun was just coming up over the east. Champ found himself able to move, and Treecko was sleeping soundly next to him. Champ couldn't hold his joy. He picked up Treecko and embraced it, waking it up. He had found a true friend.
In a House
Seen March 20th, 2016
Posted January 22nd, 2010
1,823 posts
16.6 Years
Well...

First off, let me say welcome to the fanfic section and such like. I'm actually very happy to see you. In fact your story isn't bad it simply has one problem: You fuse paragraphs together. In order to show a break in the action, hit enter twice. In other words, double-space between paragraphs in order to get across your meaning. Champ is a bit of an odd name, and he's a fairly stereotypic shounen-hero archetype, and his Muk-loving antagonist is fairly stereotypic as well, but since you're fairly new and you've obviously got some basic grammar and descriptive skills, I'll let that slide. So yeah, space out your paragraphs a bit more, and this will look pretty dang good.

x x x x

Seen October 27th, 2012
Posted March 24th, 2012
128 posts
15.9 Years
Well...

First off, let me say welcome to the fanfic section and such like. I'm actually very happy to see you. In fact, your story, isn't bad, it simply has one problem: You fuse paragraphs together. In order to show a break in the action, hit enter twice. In other words, double-space between paragraphs in order to get across your meaning. Champ is a bit of an odd name, and he's a fairly stereotypic shounen-hero archetype, and his Muk-loving antagonist is fairly stereotypic as well, but since you're fairly new and you've obviously got some basic grammar and descriptive skills, I'll let that slide. So yeah, space out your paragraphs a bit more, and this will look pretty dang good.
Oops, sorry, on the other forum, they said the same thing. The Muk guy was just a bully from the flashback. Champ? I know, it's weird, but I've never been able to come up with a better name. Suprisingly, you're the first guy to ask me about the name. I'll fix it. Thanks for the comment. And Champ's not a hero, wouldnt you go outside to save a Treecko?
In a House
Seen March 20th, 2016
Posted January 22nd, 2010
1,823 posts
16.6 Years
Well, "hero" can also mean the main protagonist of the story, so technically, Champ is the hero of the piece. And he does exemplify a lot of the traits of the heroes of shounen anime and manga act a lot like he does- emphasizing friendship, doing your best, never giving up, etc. That's really what I meant.

x x x x

Seen October 27th, 2012
Posted March 24th, 2012
128 posts
15.9 Years
Really he's not the hero. I insist, wouldnt you jump into a flooded street after a doomed Treecko? Champ gets some action now, but that was a while ago.
EDIT: Arent people supposed to persevere instead of saying "Oh, I cant do anything, I'll let an innocent Pokémon die."
EDIT2: Why dont I post the next chapter?
Age 16
Male
In the dark future
Seen August 26th, 2011
Posted January 3rd, 2011
810 posts
15.9 Years
Wow, this is turning out to be a pretty good story. It's so detailed, and full of action.
It's also one of the most touching things I've read, I actually cried a little reading it.




YouTube account.

Brother: Griff4815. Sisters: DP876, Anastasia.R
PM me if you want to be part of my family.
In a House
Seen March 20th, 2016
Posted January 22nd, 2010
1,823 posts
16.6 Years
Tell you what, post the danged chapter when you get around to it, my dear Champ. Anyway, letting innocent Pokemon die is very bad, yes, but many people when confronted by a big, scary monster made of sludge would run away if they hadn't been exposed to shounen manga. Those of us that have are pre-conditioned to know that even if a big, scary monster made of toxic sludge is attacking us, we'll survive because we're doing the right thing. And then we die. XD

So, if you think the next chapter is ready then go ahead and post. I really don't mind.

x x x x

Seen October 27th, 2012
Posted March 24th, 2012
128 posts
15.9 Years
(It is ready. And when that bully's Muk was looking for Treecko, it probably somehow ended up in the sewer. The reason why Treecko left was that it was afraid of the Muk chasing it. And lastly, Champ didnt know that humans could get Poisoned. He only thought that he would be able to grab Treecko and go before Muk could move three steps, seeing how slow it is.)

The problem is... I LOST THE STUPID STORY!!!!!!!!!! T_T
The Dream Team! (unlike the Philadelphia Eagles)
Seen October 27th, 2012
Posted March 24th, 2012
128 posts
15.9 Years
Happy you guys love it, the problem is that I lost the story! Getting on it soon.
EDIT: Here it is!
Chapter 2: Anger Management (sorry for all of the lines, that’s a mistake.)

“Tree…” Treecko murmured in its sleep. It was sound asleep. This was the most special Treecko in the world to Champ. Its nap on Champ’s shoulder was doing it some good, after today’s rush to pack things, and get the luggage onto the ship, and everything. Champ and Treecko had been so tired, that they hadn't even gone to their own room yet. Nevertheless, Champ couldn't sleep. He was too excited about tomorrow. he would arrive at Gateon Port, his new home. He would have a house about two blocks from the beach. He would be able to train with Treecko against the waves, or against other trainers. Treecko seemed happy about that. Treecko loved to train. It often won battles. Usually it would whack its opponent with its tail, and then use Iron Tail.

This attack was like Pound, where the user slams the opponent with its tail, but the tail glowed white and became as hard as iron, thus giving it the name “Iron Tail”. Champ’s dad, a special move tutor, had taught Treecko how to use Bullet Seed, where Treecko spits seeds made of green energy at its opponent, and Iron Tail. He also taught his own Machamp how to use Double Kick and even Fire Punch. Double Kick was an attack where the user kicks its opponent twice quickly; usually laying a strong hit. Fire Punch was a stronger attack, where the user’s fist catches on fire, and it punches the opponent, leaving a burn mark. He had taught many moves to Pokémon, and he was one of the best and most skilled tutors in the area. He had been the Dewford Island Gym Leader for some time, but the rest of the family lived in Littleroot. They had always lived in Littleroot, because Champ’s dad thought that they wouldn’t get used to the trendy style and the constant noise from surfing contests.

The top surfer was a man named Brawly. This guy was the best surfer, and one of the best trainers around. When Champ visited the island, he always challenged Brawly. Champ and Treecko couldn't even come close to beating his Machop, who always rolled with the punches. It just absorbed the impact from Treecko’s attacks and forced it into the ground, while it suffered minimum damage. Then, it would attack Treecko with one of its Fighting type moves. Treecko didn’t even stand a chance.

Champ turned around, stopping his stargazing session. He started to walk across the deck, studying the Pokémon and their trainers. Many trainers were on the ship to Orre. Probably after the Team Shadow invasion that left most of Northern Hoenn poor. Team Shadow was an evil organization led by a man named Dach who wanted to freeze Hoenn and block out the sun, leaving the whole world poor. They would sweep in and take over. Team Shadow used Articuno to help them. Soon, a team of great Pokémon trainers, Brendan, Steven, Wallace, E-man, Roxanne, Brawly, Wattson, Flannery, Winona, Tate and Liza and more, helped stop them. It was sad to see that even after the chaos had stopped, many people wouldn’t let it go. They couldn't stay.

One kid caught Champ’s eye. She was a small kid, about five inches shorter than Champ, and had brown hair, semi-long, and he was sitting and stargazing just like Champ had done. A little yellow Pokémon with brown stripes was sleeping in her arms. It had a short pointy tail, and its torso was all brown. Champ automatically knew that it was an Abra.

Abra can launch attacks and teleport while it’s asleep, Champ thought. “This’ll make for a great opponent.”

“Tree…” Treecko could always sense when another Pokémon was around. It’s sixth sense for battling was useful sometimes. Treecko immediately woke up from its nap, and hopped down in front of Champ. Its tail perked up, ready for battle. The girl turned around. Her Abra yawned sleepily and buried its head into her arms.

“That’s a nice Abra you’ve got there,” Champ complemented, seeing how strong the Abra looked.

“Same goes for your Treecko,” she replied, arousing Abra from its slumber, obviously knowing what must come next. Her voice sounded conforting to Champ. “As soon as it heard my Abra breathing, it jumped up.”

“Well, that’s my Treecko for you, always looking for a battle.”

“Well, while you're here, would you mind helping my Abra evolve? It has been looking for a fight for ages.”
Champ smiled. He knew it. Champ loved to battle as much as Treecko did, and he always wanted to prove others wrong about “not making Treecko evolve into a Grovyle”. Treecko smiled smugly, and walked up closer to the girl.

“Yes, I accept your challenge,” Champ said. “By the way my name’s Champ. What’s yours?”

“My name is Julia.”

“Ok, Treecko, you ready to battle?” Champ asked Treecko. Treecko nodded, annoyed that every time it was going to be in a battle, it had to be asked if it was ready.

“Go, Abra!” Julia called, putting the sleeping Abra down. Abra snored lightly. Treecko looked at it in disbelief. It had never attacked a defenseless, sleeping opponent before. Treecko turned around to face Champ. It shrugged, asking,

“Tree?”

Champ looked at Treecko assuredly.

“Oh, it can fight while asleep. So be alert.” Champ warned Treecko, as Julia decided to make a move.

“Abra, use Calm Mind.” She ordered. Abra’s sleeping face turned more relaxed, as it cleared its mind, calming itself. It glowed blue.

“Treecko, it just made itself more powerful in the Special Attack and Special Defense stat. Use Pound.” Champ said calmly. Treecko got on all fours and charged toward Abra, who was still using Calm Mind. Treecko took a flying leap into the air, and was about to land on Abra. Treecko lashed out its tail, about to make impact with Abra. Julia wasn’t even responding, until when Treecko was mere inches away from a direct hit.

“Use Psychic!” she yelled, pointing at Treecko. Abra glowed blue again, this time sending a bluish beam of psychic energy towards Treecko. The beam hit its mark, and Treecko was hit hard. Treecko started to glow blue, and Abra took over Treecko’s body. Abra threw Treecko onto the cold deck hard, and Treecko let out a yelp of pain. Abra, still using Psychic power, slammed Treecko onto the deck over and over again. Treecko had no control over its body. Abra’s face remained emotionless, for it was still asleep, and the Calm Mind was calming it down. Treecko yelled out once more as Abra released its psychic grip on it, and Treecko crashed down to the ground with a thud. Treecko staggered to get up. Once it got up, the look on its face was the most anger Julia or Champ had ever seen a Treecko show. It was frowning so badly, that it could only see the bottom half of its eyesight, because its eyebrows were so slanted. Its teeth were in a snarl, and it had its fists clenched, ready to battle for real now.

“Pound again!” Champ called out, trying to use Treecko’s anger to his own advantage. Treecko saw red, and charged at Abra again, as ferocious as a wild Tauros. This time, when Julia shouted out for Abra to use Psychic, Treecko was already too close. Treecko whipped out its tail and…

WHAM!

Abra was sent tumbling backwards from the blow, flipping over backwards from the impact. The attack left a mark on Abra’s right cheek, where Treecko had hit it. Treecko jumped up again, ready to perform an Iron Tail attack.

“Abra, no,” Julia yelled. “Use Protect!”

Treecko’s tail glowed white, as it is hardened to the surface of iron. Treecko slammed its tail down, but Abra acted first. Abra, using blue psychic power, created a blue shield, which was going to block Treecko’s Iron Tail. Treecko’s iron-hard tail slammed into the shield, and didn’t have any effect. Treecko immediately lost balance, and fell backwards, crashing onto its back hard.

Treecko began to twitch from anger. Its face started to blush red, and it got up. Abra released its shield… just in time for it to be whacked in the face by Treecko’s Iron Tail. Abra flew back, covering its face, and landed about a foot away from Julia’s feet. Abra struggled to get up from the blow. As Julia encouraged her Abra, with a pep talk about how much they had worked on their battling skills, and how much hard work they had put into training, Champ studied her strange clothing.

Her pants were black, with purple flames from the knee down. Her T-shirt, which had a big purple “S” on it, had the same design. The flames only reached the “S”, which was a couple inches below her neck. She was wearing black purple flamed gloves, to match. She looked almost gothic, but most gothic people had Dark or Ghost type Pokemon, or didn’t even like Pokemon at all. There was no make-up on her face, nor anything on her hair. Champ would have to ask about the strange uniform-like clothing.
Abra slowly got up, drops of sweat on its face. Abra glowed blue, and started to float into midair. It crossed its legs and put its short arms onto its knees. It was using Calm Mind again. Once again, Abra’s expression relaxed, and it sighed in relief. Treecko growled, gritting its teeth.

Enjoy your peace now, it thought, waiting for it to make a move. But I wont be the one losing this.

Abra took a deep breath and exhaled. Champ waited impatiently. Now was his chance. Treecko stared at him, pressuring him to make his move. Champ saw Treecko’s anxiety and decided not to keep it waiting.

“Ok, now use Iron Tail!” Champ shouted, hoping that Abra was not going to counter it. Treecko charged toward Abra, but Julia once again gave no response. Bad sign. Once Treecko had jumped in the air and hardened its glowing tail, Abra looked ready. Definitely a bad sign.

“Now Abra,” Julia said confidently, with a smug smile on her face. “ Use Confusion!”

Champ had never had the attack used on Treecko before. Treecko didn’t know what happened when some Pokemon used Confusion on it.
Abra concentrated, breaking its peace of mind, and shot out another blue beam from its brain towards Treecko. Abra’s forehead tensed, as it attacked. The blue beam hit Treecko right into its head, and the blue psychic energy seeped into its brain. Treecko lost all of its concentration, and missed the Iron Tail attack. Treecko’s brain began to slip into a chaotic mess of confusion and distress. Treecko clutched its head, as the effects of Confusion gave it a massive headache. Treecko became confused about everything, and began to wobble around. Champ panicked quietly, trying to figure out what to do. Obviously, Treecko was too unfocused on the battle, and was unable to attack.

“Hang in there, Treecko! Try Pound!”

Treecko tried to recognize the voice, but it had no idea who was ordering it to use some attack called “Pound”. Treecko wobbled even more, and soon fell over, crashing hard to the floor. Treecko was hopelessly defeated. Champ knew that it was over. Confusion attack was nothing to mess with. Treecko couldn't handle it, especially after it being so enraged that it couldn't even focus. Treecko had lost. Champ hadn't experienced that many losses, but he tried to keep himself under control.

Everyone loses. It’s a part of being a trainer, he told himself. But how did that Abra get so strong?

“Good battle, Champ,” Julia congratulated, bending down and picking up Abra. “You were great too, Abra.”

“How did your Abra get so strong?” Champ asked, looking down at the damage that Abra had done to Treecko.

“My Abra? Well, when we lived in Mossdeep City, Psychic Pokemon were popular. I had always admired Abra, and when I got one for my ninth birthday, I was so happy. Abra and I trained and fought other people, and we got stronger. Abra decided it didn’t want to evolve, so I didn’t force it to evolve.” Julia explained, stroking Abra’s head.

She almost had the same story as Champ did. Well, the evolving part at least.

“Well, pretty much the same thing happened to me, except I found my Treecko.” Champ explained, picking up Treecko. Treecko sighed, and took a nap to rest. Champ reached for his bag and took out some cut cleaner for Pokemon. He sprayed some onto the gash on Treecko’s leg from the fall. Treecko winced, as the spray stung. Champ took out some medical tape and wrapped it on Treecko’s leg. Champ grabbed a Persim berry, to heal Treecko’s confusion.

“Who is this kid who’s taking care of me?” Treecko asked itself, taking a bite of the dry berry. Suddenly, after swallowing, Treecko remembered who it was, and who was helping it. It glanced over at its opponent and frowned. It had lost.

The bad headache struck again, and Treecko winced as it could feel its own heartbeat in its head.

“Looks like you know how to take care of your Pokemon,” Julia said. “It’s useful when you’re in the desert, without a town for miles. But when you’re in the east, there's usually a Pokemon Center around.”

“I like to take care of my own Pokemon,” Champ replied. “Unless it’s serious.”

“Treecko.” Treecko complained, tugging on Champ’s sleeves.

“Well, I best be going now,” Julia said, looking around the deck. “ They want everyone inside when it gets late. You should be on your way too.”

“Ok, I guess,” Champ answered, packing up his bag and slinging it across his shoulder. “Bye, I hope we get a rematch soon.”

Julia walked off, heading towards the door leading into the cabins. Champ walked off in the opposite direction, looking toward the stars. He remembered how uncountable they were, and decided that he had had enough stargazing for now. Champ opened a large door, straight in the middle of the deck, leading to a huge cabin hall. The two smokestacks loomed over him. Once he was in, he remembered how unorganized it was. Hallways leading every which way stretched out all around him. He remembered his room number- 1029. He headed down the diagonal hall to the left of him, holding Treecko tight. He looked around. 1001, 1003, 1005, were the numbers on the right side. On the left were 1000, 1002, 1004, 1006. He kept going, looking to the right side. Here it was- 1029! Champ took out his room key and slid it across a slot. The door beeped, and automatically opened. Champ’s mom was waiting for him on the other side. She was two inches taller than he was, and her brownish-black hair was fashioned into a ball with a hair clip. She was a bit stocky, like Champ, and had short legs. She looked concerned.

“Champ, what happened to Treecko?” she asked, taking notice of Treecko’s small cuts all over its body and the medical tape on its leg.

“We battled another trainer,” Champ said sadly. “And her Abra beat up Treecko. I was close to winning, but not so close.”

“Oh. Well, you better wash up Treecko so it can get some rest.”

“Ok mom.”

Champ hopped into the cabin’s bathroom, and turned on the sink. He put Treecko into the sink as it filled with water. The sink was big enough to fit Treecko in, and Champ scrubbed Treecko, careful not to hurt it. Treecko seemed to enjoy the bath, and it playfully splashed Champ. Champ splashed back, and Treecko jumped out of the sink. Champ laughed, and chased Treecko with the towel. Treecko violently shook the water off of itself, and began to dash on all fours around the cabin. It wasn’t watching where it was going, and ran right into another Pokemon.

The Pokemon was small, about Treecko’s size, and it was blue and muscular. It looked like a small, blue, muscular baby. It had two half-moon shaped beige horns, jutting out of
its head. The horns were flat side down, and they faced forward. It had a small, cone shaped tail, pointy side-out.

The Pokemon was not too pleased with Treecko running into it. It clenched its fists and frowned.

“Treecko, tree.” Treecko apologized. “Sorry, sorry.” Treecko put its hands in front of it, as if to say, “Don't hurt me please!”.

“Machop! Ma-Machop!” the Pokemon yelled. “ I’m tired of you playing around!”

“Treecko, tree Treecko!” Treecko argued. “I should be allowed to play around- after that beating I took.”

Machop held a fist up to Treecko’s face.

“Machop!” Machop threatened. “You wanna fight?”

“Treecko!” Treecko yelled, tackling Machop. Treecko slapped Machop hard. Machop quickly took the flow of the battle and started to bang Treecko against Champ’s bed. Champ was brushing his teeth, and he heard the noise. Champ came out.

“Hey, stop fighting you two!” he said, but it sounded more like “Eh, op ightee ooh ooh!”

Treecko whacked Machop hard, and Machop threw Treecko onto the ground.

“’Om, ‘ell ‘em ooh ‘op ‘ightee ‘ease!” Champ yelled, pointing to the fight between Treecko and Machop. Treecko was getting hurt, but Machop was weakening. Champ’s mom didn’t
listen. She had no idea what he was saying.

“Eeko, eeurn!” Champ called angrily, grabbing his bag. He took out a Pokeball.

It was a sphere, red on the top, and white on the bottom. A black line divided the sections. In the middle of the Pokeball there was a gray circular button. Champ pressed the button and it glowed red. A red beam of energy shot from the button and traveled right toward Treecko. The beam hit Treecko, and Treecko turned completely into a red, transparent energy figure, then beamed back into the Pokeball.

Champ looked sadly at the Pokeball containing Treecko. This was the first time he had had to put Treecko into the Pokeball because of it misbehaving.
Treecko was having some anger issues.

Conclusions: Treecko is having some anger problems, and Champ loses a battle.
The Dream Team! (unlike the Philadelphia Eagles)
In a House
Seen March 20th, 2016
Posted January 22nd, 2010
1,823 posts
16.6 Years
Okay...

Good chapter, if Champ is still being a bit cliched about his attitude towards battling. (Come on, "I don't force it to evolve?" This kid is starting to sound like Ash Ketchum's spirit brother or something.)

Anyway, CC will now be served.

Usually it would whack its opponent with its tail, and then use Iron Tail.

This attack was like Pound, where the user slams the opponent with its tail, but the tail glowed white and became as hard as iron, thus giving it the name “Iron Tail”. Champ’s dad, a special move tutor, had taught Treecko how to use Bullet Seed, where Treecko spits seeds made of green energy at its opponent, and Iron Tail. He also taught his own Machamp how to use Double Kick and even Fire Punch. Double Kick was an attack where the user kicks its opponent twice quickly; usually laying a strong hit. Fire Punch was a stronger attack, where the user’s fist catches on fire, and it punches the opponent, leaving a burn mark. He had taught many moves to Pokémon, and he was one of the best and most skilled tutors in the area. He had been the Dewford Island Gym Leader for some time, but the rest of the family lived in Littleroot. They had always lived in Littleroot, because Champ’s dad thought that they wouldn’t get used to the trendy style and the constant noise from surfing contests.
You really didn't need to explain how Iron Tail, Fire Punch, and Double Kick work, especially outside of a battle situation. Doing it here just slows the narrative down. Additionally, when describing how Treecko loves to fight in the paragraph before this one, consider using compound sentences. The whole "Treecko loved to train. Treecko always won." thing was really short and choppy. You should probably also delete the mention of how Treecko's preferred fighting style involved Iron Tail, since things like that kind of become obvious to the reader during battles. If you wanted to point out that it was Champ's Dad who taught Treecko the attack, you could have another character ask Champ where Treecko learned it, and have Champ explain from there.

Champ turned around, stopping his stargazing session. He started to walk across the deck, studying the Pokémon and their trainers. Many trainers were on the ship to Orre. Probably after the Team Shadow invasion that left most of Northern Hoenn poor. Team Shadow was an evil organization led by a man named Dach who wanted to freeze Hoenn and block out the sun, leaving the whole world poor. They would sweep in and take over. Team Shadow used Articuno to help them. Soon, a team of great Pokémon trainers, Brendan, Steven, Wallace, E-man, Roxanne, Brawly, Wattson, Flannery, Winona, Tate and Liza and more, helped stop them. It was sad to see that even after the chaos had stopped, many people wouldn’t let it go. They couldn't stay.
That sentence is a bit awkward, because it was missing the word "then". (Who the heck is E-Man, by the way? Will he be showing up?) The whole "And more" part would sound better if you phrased it "And others".

My youth leader at my church always says that for every two things you say that are bad, try to point out four good things, which is a fairly applicable rule when it comes to constructive criticism. Your description of the battle between Abra and Treecko was great. I could see the entire thing playing out in my head. I also enjoyed the whole "Teeth brushing" scene, as well as the replacement of Brawly with Champ's Dad. It was also nice to see that Champ isn't always a winner, just like the rest of us. Until next time, keep writing!

x x x x

Age 29
Male
UK
Seen March 26th, 2011
Posted November 1st, 2010
348 posts
15.9 Years
That was a wonderful chapter. Must agree about the description of the iron tail move, that slowed down the story. So, who does this Machop belong to, I'm confused.
Platinum FC - 0432 3665 4474[Name - Drew]
HeartGold FC - 5199 7801 6179[Name - Drew]

Platinum Team:
Sceptile/Blaziken/Swampert/Swellow/Gardevoir/Flygon
HeartGold Team:
Meganium/Ampharos/Pupitar/Typhlosion/Feraligatr/Scizor
Seen October 27th, 2012
Posted March 24th, 2012
128 posts
15.9 Years
Machop belonged to Champ's family, but Champ likes Treecko, just treecko. Not Grovyle and Sceptile. And I thought "How would Grovyle use iron Tail? It doesnt have a good tail for that." and also Treecko likes being small enough to ride on Champ's shoulders. :D But E-man, he's just a trainer. He has no importance to the stor, just a weird named character.

EDIT: Story time!!! *Everyone gathers around in a circle facing me in a chair as I hold the book*

Chapter 3: Pokémon Torture
Two black helicopters wove through the night sky over the seemingly endless ocean, little red circles of light leading the way in front of them, sweeping the ocean surface. The red headlights guided the helicopters as their altitude started to decline. The helicopters split the air in two as they started to pick up speed, hurrying towards their destination. The helicopters suddenly were cut off from all moonlight as a huge shadow lumbered over them, flying at about the same pace.

Inside the helicopter, a man looked into his cameras on the dashboard. The jumble of wires, switches, and buttons that were the controls seemed easy to manage to the pilot. He knew which switch did which operation. He smiled as he picked up his radio.

“It’s here, Kim. It seems to be getting out of our control.”

“Should I send another wave?” the other line answered. The pilot looked at a radar screen depicting the monster. He studied the bird-like monster, with its long, semi-thin wings and its strong legs. Its neck extended to reveal a small head, with a purple mask.

“You may fire when ready.” replied the man, smiling. The helicopter parallel to his pulled up, swooping upwards at a ninety degree angle, and flew up on top of the flying monster. The woman grabbed a joystick and opened a lock-on target screen. The system locked on, a red box on the monster’s head. The woman referred to as “Kim” pushed a button on the joystick, and the helicopter’s front popped open, revealing a laser-like turret. The turret shot out a wave of red energy, striking the creature in the head.

It roared as the waves seeped into its brain, and its eyes went red, glowing. It roared and flew side to side, out of control. It flew down towards the ocean, spiraling out of control. The monster was dive-bombing into the ocean! It closed its eyes, waiting for impact. Suddenly, it regained control of itself, and its eyes opened. It curved upwards, and flew up, creating huge waves. The monster was flying right in front of the helicopters.

About a mile ahead of the helicopters and monster, the ship kept pushing forward, slicing through the ocean waves as if they were made of soft butter. The smoke billowed into the air. The monster went straight for it. It opened its mouth and a huge ball of purple energy formed inside. It jerked its head back, ready to shoot out the attack.

Champ looked sadly at the Pokéball holding Treecko inside. He started to think suspiciously as he looked out at the ocean, blackish blue in the night. He couldn’t stay in the room anymore.

“What was going on? Treecko had been acting strangely lately,” he thought. Could it be the fact that it was leaving home? Could it be nervous about Orre? Why has my true friend gone aggressive?

Champ was near tears. A Treecko, who once sucked poison out of his system, now was not listening to him. It had even attacked Machop for no reason! Even when they’re in a “fight”, they never actually fought. It had been a rough day for him- losing to an Abra, and then having Treecko go aggressive.

Champ sat down on a bench and tried to fight the tears. Soon it turned to anger. Who is responsible for this?! Why would someone do such a thing?! It wasn’t the leaving home that made Treecko angry! It had to be someone’s doing!

Champ clenched his fists. He would find out who was behind this, and he would make them pay. They would pay the price.

The monster jerked its head forward, releasing a beam of purple energy toward the boat. The attack lit up the night sky and the beam was heading straight toward the boat. Miraculously, the attack missed and blasted the water, causing a huge spray of seawater to soak the deck of the boat. The explosion rocked the boat, but didn’t do any further damge.

Soaked. Just great. Just perfect. What a night! Can it get any worse?! Champ stared at the source of the attacker. The monster roared, and headed straight for him. Champ shuddered at the size of the monster. It roared again as it charged another beam attack, the light reflecting in Champ’s glasses. Champ made a run toward the nearest entrance to the corridors. The Pokeball containing Treecko slipped off of his belt and started rolling toward the side of the boat. Treecko was lost!

Conclusions: Well, the monster blasted the ship, and Champ is about to lose Treecko.
__________________
Sorry, this chapter wasnt as good as the others. It was short and non-descriptive. So, to make up for it, here's more.

Champ stared down at the tiny Pokeball floating in the waves. He had lost his Treecko. His only friend. Gone. Champ knew something bad would happen. He just didn’t expect something this bad.

The monster shot out another beam and a brilliant blast of light blinded Champ. The boat was hit, and a deafening “BOOM” nearly knocked Champ over. The side of the boat exploded and purple light spread everywhere. Screams of people trying to run away died out in the darkness of the sea as they were helplessly flung into the ocean. Pieces of debris flew onto the deck, damaging the floor. Champ dodged a twisted piece of metal and avoided another sharp piece of glass. He ran toward the deck to find that Treecko was gone.

No. No. NO! This is all wrong. All wrong. Why? Why did Pokeballs have to sink? Why couldn’t they float? Stupid monster. Stupid Orre. Stupid Gateon Port. Stupid Coliseum. Agh! Why is this happening? Why am I being torn apart, chunks at a time?

Another blast of light. Another deafening blast. Another crowd of screams. Another lurching of the boat. Now sinking. Champ didn’t care anymore. He had nothing now, his only friend gone. Nothing to live for. He couldn’t be a trainer without a Pokemon. He couldn’t own a Pokemon that wasn’t this particular Treecko. He didn’t like any other Pokemon. Not the Abra, not the Machop, not even the Houndour in his book. He could become a scientist, bot he had promised that he wouldn’t get anything accomplished without his Treecko.

This time, the boat was suspended. It wasn’t moving. The boat was glowing purple.

“Wah!” Champ yelled, falling down next to the edge of the boat. The boat rising up was enough to send more things toppling.
The wave! It was carrying Treecko’s Pokeball in it! Maybe it could float! The wave was suspended too. The Pokeball lifted out of the wave and stood still, suspended mere inches from Champ’s grasp. The ship rose further, as the now glowing purple monster carried it with its telekinetic power. The monster was a Psychic! Champ thought as he looked at the monster. Lugia.

The whole ship started moving. Fast. If he could just reach the Pokeball…

WHAM!

Conclusions: Lugia ruined Champ's already rough night by abducting the ship. Champ lost Treecko.
(Just trying to keep the suspense going- this is a continuation of the last chapter.)
__________________
Maybe i should have put those two segments together.
The Dream Team! (unlike the Philadelphia Eagles)
Seen October 27th, 2012
Posted March 24th, 2012
128 posts
15.9 Years
Well, you'll see what happens to Treecko (Not soon though). I have an installment or two to go before that, probably two since I have a request to make shorter installments. But still, I couldn't help asking my self,
" Why didnt anyone comment about the Pokéball being lifted?"
Wow, I guess the people at PFU are a little more picky. I think I'll like it here.
As the story goes, I'd like to see more people commenting- i've only seen a few different people, like Art Critic Cubone, who apparently Critiques Fanfic too, and Grovyle42, who seems to have no problem with my story, and also Lilninjapig, who doesnt want Treecko to die.
Thanks for all of the support and I hope you'll find the rest of the story good, as I've reached the one-quarter mark of the incredibly short fanfic, maybe having a sequel, depending on how I want things to play out.
So, to summarize it up, the plot so far is as follows:
Champ is a normal kid who, when young, saved a Treecko. Treecko then saved him and they became best friends. now, he's moving to Orre to escape the madness of Team Shadow, who nearly destroyed Hoenn. Champ and Treecko become very angry to the fact that they were leaving, but still, they seem to have moved to the wrong island. Orre is the next victim of Team Shadow's wrath, so what can Champ and Treecko do? (Nothing!) Read more to find out...
The Dream Team! (unlike the Philadelphia Eagles)
Age 28
Male
The Edge of Eternity
Seen February 20th, 2019
Posted December 1st, 2015
764 posts
15.8 Years
Wow!!!!!! This is a pretty good story so far! =) Good job!


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Seen October 27th, 2012
Posted March 24th, 2012
128 posts
15.9 Years
You say he saved the treecko when he was young.
Did Treecko save him at the same age or was it when he was older? and at what age?
It was the exact same day. It was in the same chapter, right?
The Dream Team! (unlike the Philadelphia Eagles)
In a House
Seen March 20th, 2016
Posted January 22nd, 2010
1,823 posts
16.6 Years
Alright...

First of all, DON'T SHORTEN YOUR INSTALLMENTS TO BELOW FOUR PAGES ON A STANDARD WORD PROCESSOR. DOING THAT WOULD MAKE ACC ANGRY. SO ANGRY THAT HE WILL BURN OUT HIS CAPS LOCK BUTTON TYPING WARNINGS. I LIKE PIE.

And now, to bring everything up to speed. XD

Champ sat down on a bench and tried to fight the tears. Soon it turned to anger. Who is responsible for this?! Why would someone do such a thing?! It wasn’t the leaving home that made Treecko angry! It had to be someone’s doing!

Champ clenched his fists. He would find out who was behind this, and he would make them pay. They would pay the price.
Ooh, jumping to conclusions, possibly erroneous ones, and easily getting angry. See, I knew Champ had more to his personality then "Save the Treecko!". Now my Mom owes me five bucks. XD

Soaked. Just great. Just perfect. What a night! Can it get any worse?! Champ stared at the source of the attacker. The monster roared, and headed straight for him. Champ shuddered at the size of the monster. It roared again as it charged another beam attack, the light reflecting in Champ’s glasses. Champ made a run toward the nearest entrance to the corridors. The Pokeball containing Treecko slipped off of his belt and started rolling toward the side of the boat. Treecko was lost!
WARNING. WARNING. VERB TENSE CONFUSION IMMINENT- PROCESSING INFORMATION- DATA ERROR. PLEASE REPLACE "CAN" WITH "COULD" AND TRY AGAIN.

No. No. NO! This is all wrong. All wrong. Why? Why did Pokeballs have to sink? Why couldn’t they float? Stupid monster. Stupid Orre. Stupid Gateon Port. Stupid Coliseum. Agh! Why is this happening? Why am I being torn apart, chunks at a time?
Maybe you could italicize Champ's thoughts so that we don't get them confused with the outside narration?

Your story is picking up speed, and I'm about to form an angry mob to come beat you up if Treecko gets hurt, which is a good thing in this case since it shows I'm concerned (in a weird, psychopathic sort of way). Keep writing!

x x x x

Seen October 27th, 2012
Posted March 24th, 2012
128 posts
15.9 Years
Story Tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime!!!!!
Ok, here's the next installment. Sorry it's short, I have to keep the suspense rolling by stopping at where the tention is high, y'know? I'll post more after I get some reviews.

Dach's Smile (Did I mention him earlier?)

"Where'd it go?"

"I haven't seen it."

A tall man with black hair and glasses angrily swept around, his purple and black coat swinging as he turned. His cloak blended in with the dull boring room, dark as ever. The second man, who claimed to have not seen "it" was standing behind the first man. His lab coat was stained with grime from various dripping patches in the ceiling. He wore a frightened look, uncertain about what his boss would do to him. The lab coat man always knew him as a time bomb, waiting to explode with tenacity. The boss was not patient, not calm, and certainly not kind. Especially not the last one. Everyone who had met him, worked with him, even just saw him once, would never forget the moment. He always had that "I'm just about ready to hurt someone" look on, and his employees were anxious to get away from being around him.

The boss slammed his fist on the beat up desktop, rattling all of his possesions. Obviously, he had done that many times. He growled, looking behind his computer and under the desk, angrily snorting and muttering the whole time.

The lab coat man tensed up, knowing that by now, his boss's patience would wear out, and it would be mere minutes before things would be broken. The lab coat man shuddered, as he thought about how many times he would have to dodge heavy items. But he couldnt leave unless the boss said that he could, and he was now caught up in looking around the room. It was now the time to speak up.

"Sir, I suggest that-" he started, knowing how his boss would react.

"Get out!" the boss yelled, pointing towards the door behind the lab coat.

The scientist quickly ran out of the room.

The boss was stressed out, with the move and all. He had said that he couldnt stand being near the island. He still knew that, as he searched his room. Without memories of his old home haunting him everytime he looked out the window. Every time he put on his coat. Everytime he went outside and look at what has become of his town. Everytime he looked at what he had molded himself into. Shame. Depression. Disappointment. Anger. Rage. Explosion. The once playful boy that everyone knew had turned into a monster of a man. Now he was so caught up in the past, that he couldn't even keep track of his own things, as if he had many.

Then it hit him. He knew what was happening. He should have known when he grew weak, lost his good eyesight, and started to actually like Pokémon. He knew what he had to do now.

Treecko was gone.

Dach started to remember how the Team Shadow group started, and how he had met his first friend...

"Go already!"

The boy's friend stood, waiting impatiently in the cold. His heavy coat was coated in snow and ice, and he waited for the boy he was talking to to slide down the giant, icy mountain. His brown hair stood rigid, wet and cold, and his huge boots shifted as he kept himself from sinking into the ice.

"But..."

"Stop stalling. Just go."

The boy on a sled sat, watching the lights of the town hundreds of feet below. His wooden sled started to slide down, but he caught himself. His purple coat was ripped, cold, and sopping wet from playing in the snow. His black, now spiky hair was just as cold and wet, and his gloves started to slip on the ice. He tried to pull himself back up, but he kept slipping. His futile efforts at stalling hadn't worked- he hadn't had kept his attention on trying to stay up, as he was now sliding. The boy behind him was walking up, and raising his foot.

No. Don't do it!

The truth was, he was scared of going down, and his gang had forced him to go. They had called him a baby, a loser, even a misfit, and dragged him up. He was the only one in the group without a Pokémon, and they constantly taunted and ridiculed him because he was too soft.*Wouldn't just go out and snatch a Pokémon. For treating Pokémon as equals and not work tools. For actually thinking against the group. For actually even thinking. They were the worst group ever. Dach still wondered how they conned him into joining.

"Stop!" he cried, as the bully began to kick his sled.

"What's the matter," the bully taunted, kicking the sled. He finished his sentence as the boy began to slide down. "Scared?"

As a matter of fact, yes. The boy was terrified. He closed his eyes and began to scream while wind blasted his face as the sled picked up speed. He careened out of control and winced as pieces of ice pelted his face. Vivid thoughts of himself crashing filled his thoughts. He tried to stop, but only hurt his fingers trying. He knew that if he tried to jump off of the sled, he'd fall down the steep sides of the mountain without the sled to shield him from some dangerous rocks or icicles. If only he could find enough courage to open his eyes... to find himself hurtling into a tree! He braced himself for the crash.

It wasnt as bad as he expected. It was worse. The sled rammed into the tree, shaking him up, but then the sled turned backwards and started going even faster. About 100 feet to go. But the bully was in back of him! He was sliding down fast as well, with one of those I'm-up-to-something-bad looks.

"Hey Dach," he called, quickly approaching. "It looks like you need a speed boost!"

Dach frantically tried to turn as the bully rammed into him, sending him toppling into a diamond-shaped rock.

The small rock moved. It popped up out of the snow. It wasnt a rock! It was a Pokémon! It looked like it was covered by a straw hat with an orange rim and had three diamond-shaped orange markings on its back. Its hands were small and spherical, and its feet were long, and ovular. Its skin was a deep gray, and it bore a row of teeth that were arched. Its eyes were small for its body, and bright blue. It looked happy.

"Sno-runt."

...

Those bullies had then promted Dach to form the group that was Team Shadow today. But instead of stopping the crime in the town, he had gone overboard and started to blame the less-than-significant government that hadn't been controlling the city well. Dach tried to take over, to make things right, but their at first good intentions turned to violent protests. Then Dach got angry. He had started to build a base, long after the island had been deserted. He ruthlessly attacked and lashed out at Hoenn, blinded by his own rage, abusive with his new powers, and most of all, forgetful of the actual reason he had started.

Snorunt was left behind.
The Dream Team! (unlike the Philadelphia Eagles)
Age 29
Male
UK
Seen March 26th, 2011
Posted November 1st, 2010
348 posts
15.9 Years
It was a good chapter, but we didn't see any of Champ. Personally I got confused over who was speaking in the first 'part' of the chapter. Lets just see some Champ, kay? =}
Platinum FC - 0432 3665 4474[Name - Drew]
HeartGold FC - 5199 7801 6179[Name - Drew]

Platinum Team:
Sceptile/Blaziken/Swampert/Swellow/Gardevoir/Flygon
HeartGold Team:
Meganium/Ampharos/Pupitar/Typhlosion/Feraligatr/Scizor
Age 35
Male
Oxford, England
Seen August 11th, 2020
Posted June 4th, 2014
622 posts
15.8 Years
Yeah really enjoying Champs story right now. I really want to know more about what is happening to Lugia as well. I didn't enjoy the last chapter as much really, but if it is relevant to the story then so be it. :) Keep it up!
Name: Ben
3DS Friend Code: 4983-6179-2125


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