PokeNinja's

Started by DragonMaster7 July 16th, 2007 8:04 AM
  • 1565 views
  • 3 replies
Home Of The Dragons
Seen September 2nd, 2007
Posted July 16th, 2007
2 posts
15.8 Years
Note:This Fan Fiction Is 50% Pokemon And 50% Naruto

Chapter 1:Learning The Shadow Clone Jutsu.


Max yawned as he woke up, as he said "im gonna pass the exam

today"! In excitement."Well" Max said, Max left the house and

went to the academy.As Max arrived at school, Max saw Ash

surrounded with girl's. May was the very first to flirt with Ash

but that did'nt concern Max, but then Max noticed that May got

to the academy alot faster then he did so this was a problem.As

the bell rang, all the students from the academy went inside

class and prepaired for the exam.As Tracy and Proffesser.Birch

came into class.Max said " this is to easy, im gonnna ace it".

"You think so Max?"Tracy said.Proffeser.Birch insisted Tracy to

forget it.First off was Ash so Ash easily did a replica.It was

down to one, Max came and said "lets do this" as he noticed that

he was the last one."Replica" said Max as he made a half dead

replica."Tracy said " Max you fail "! Tear's were dripping from

Max's eye.Proffeser.Birch said "I suggest Max passing because he

has failed the most but tried the hardest".Tracy said "No" and

that was it, as the bell rung.Proffeser.Birch said to Max "you

can pass tonight if you get the scroll of konoha and learn at

least one jutsu from the scroll from the scroll of

konoha"."Really"?Replied Max."Yes really now go get it

and learn one justsu and its a secret so you cant tell any

one"."Ok Proffeser.Birch, your the best""Ok and learn the jutsu

behind the warehouse and remember its a secret"."Ok" Max said.

As he went to the hokage's house, for the scroll of konoha.

To Be Continued.
Age 30
Seen January 25th, 2022
Posted January 6th, 2021
1,584 posts
15.9 Years
Brr.

It looks like a paragraph, and is WAYYY too short to even be a chapter. They should be at LEAST 5-7 pages long. =/

Also, fix your grammar and your spelling . . . There were sooo many errors. If you want, I can proof-read your chapters before you post so you cn see what exactly you're doing wrong.

I also saw Max's name literally a million times. Use pronouns like "he" or something. You don't need to use his name every time.
Age 31
Male
Santa Isabel, Mexico
Seen July 7th, 2018
Posted February 2nd, 2016
4,000 posts
18.9 Years
Well, yeah. This is definitely rushed, bears improper grammar and really unexpected format. You're welcome to make another topic when you're to post have a decent story. It wouldn't hurt to read the pins on the Writer's lounge.

closed
虎穴に入らずんば虎子を得ず