I'M GOING TO BEAT YOU IN A CHILDREN'S CARD GAME! *shot*
Alright, I know triple triad is from FFVIII, so if I had actually played that game, I'd know what the heck you were talking about. However, since I haven't, I don't have any idea how to play Triple Triad, or even how the game works. Would you mind explaining that for me? And also, your story does need some improvement in the following areas:
1. Grammar. You need to remember to space between paragraphs, even paragraphs caused by a change of speaker. In addition, remember to always write the word "two", "three", etc. rather then the number when writing a story. In addition, remember that spelling counts. A word processor will usually have a spellcheck function, as do some internet toolbars.
2. Characterization: Since you skip a lot of dialogue (For example, Harriet's conversation with the others as she becomes the Jack,) we don't really get an idea of what your characters are like in terms of personality. In addition, since you skip over the specific games, we don't even get an idea of how triple triad is played or what playing styles each character has. (There are different styles of play, correct?) Look into fixing that next chapter.
3. Description. You never tell us exactly what your characters look like. For all I know, Edward weighs eight hundred pounds and has blond hair, and Mrs. Sivarg has hair that subtly echoes Yugi's (a.k.a. the "starfish do")
Other then that, the only thing I can think to point a finger at is the bold print. It doesn't look too professional, and since it's mostly used by people who write sub-par fics, it kind of gives you a proverbial "two strikes against you", thought that might just be me. Don't give up, you're doing a pretty good job and it is an interesting idea for a story, but you should keep all this in mind when writing the next chapter. Perhaps you could even go back over this one and fix it up a bit, hmm?