The Joke Thread Page 8

Started by Midnight Beat August 1st, 2007 1:47 PM
  • 11823 views
  • 195 replies
Age 26
Female
*shoots self*
Seen December 11th, 2010
Posted September 18th, 2010
867 posts
15.9 Years
Why are we still posting "Yo Momma" jokes? I've already seen about half of them before in this thread.

Cleopatra and her sister were sitting in their house in Egypt.
There was a giant earthquake and they got killed.
Beside their dead bodies was a broken bowl and some spilled water.
How were they killed?

Spoiler:
They were fish.


There was a dead man. Beside him was a un-opened, un-dented, not touched box.
How did he die?

Spoiler:
He was parachuting out of a plane. The parachute was in the box, and he didn't open it in time.

Dress up in your best / So I can be proud of you

Spinor

<i><font color="b1373f">The Lonely Physicist</font></i>

Age 27
Male
Seen February 13th, 2019
Posted October 4th, 2015
5,175 posts
17.3 Years
.............huh, those were jokes? i tought you were spaming

Did you know that heaven and hell are actually right next to each other? They are seperated by a big chain-link fence. Well, one day hell was having a big party and it got a little out of hand. God heard the ruckus and arrived to find his fence completely smashed by the wild partiers. He called the devil over and said "Look, Satan, you have to rebuild this fence." Satan agreed. The next day God noticed that the devil had completely rebuilt the fence...but it was 2 feet further into heaven than before.

"Satan!" beckoned God. "You have to take that fence down and put it back where it belongs!"

"Yeah? What if I don't?" replied the devil.

"I'll sue you if I have to," answered God.

"Sure," laughed Satan. "Where are you going to find a lawyer?"
Age 26
Female
*shoots self*
Seen December 11th, 2010
Posted September 18th, 2010
867 posts
15.9 Years
.............huh, those were jokes? i tought you were spaming

Did you know that heaven and hell are actually right next to each other? They are seperated by a big chain-link fence. Well, one day hell was having a big party and it got a little out of hand. God heard the ruckus and arrived to find his fence completely smashed by the wild partiers. He called the devil over and said "Look, Satan, you have to rebuild this fence." Satan agreed. The next day God noticed that the devil had completely rebuilt the fence...but it was 2 feet further into heaven than before.

"Satan!" beckoned God. "You have to take that fence down and put it back where it belongs!"

"Yeah? What if I don't?" replied the devil.

"I'll sue you if I have to," answered God.

"Sure," laughed Satan. "Where are you going to find a lawyer?"

Well that was rude. OF COURSE it isn't SPAM. Only a complete moron(I can name them) would do that!
-----------

A guy goes into a bar and says, "Quick, gimme a beer before the trouble starts!" The barman looks around the sleepy bar, shrugs and hands the guy a bottle of beer.

The guy drinks it fast. "Quick! gimme another beer before the trouble starts!"
The barman looks at the guy oddly but hands another beer to the guy.

The guy drinks it fast. "Quick another beer before the trouble starts!"
The barman hands him another beer, with a frown on his face, but hands it over reluctantly.

Again, the guy drinks it fast. "Quick another beer before the trouble starts!"
The barman replies, "Look pal, exactly what trouble are you talking about?"

"I haven't got any money!"

------------

More signs your a drunk:

You can focus better with one eye closed.
The whole bar greets you when you come in.
You haven't had a driver's license in such a long time that you have forgotten what one looks like.
You spent more time on the floor than you do standing up.

-----------

Dress up in your best / So I can be proud of you
Essex, England
Seen November 9th, 2008
Posted October 1st, 2008
498 posts
15.8 Years
Where's the English Channel? I don't know - our television doesn't pick it up.
Diamond Pokédex Update: Seen-478, Obtained-477

Re-EV Training
Currently EV Training: Starmie, Lucario, Gyarados, Alakazam
Currently Breeding: Breloom
Recently EV Trained:


Caught my first shiny: An Adamant Rhydon, on Tuesday 2nd Sep '08.

Trying to get my Wi-Fi set up again, need help though.

nosferatu

so you like... stuff?..cool...

Age 29
Seen March 31st, 2008
Posted November 13th, 2007
152 posts
15.8 Years
wanna hear a dirty joke?
a boy fell in the mud
wanna hear a clean joke?
he had a shower


did you hear that actress in legally blonde got murdered but i cant remember her name reese ??????
withaspoon?
no with a knife

yo mamma is so dumb she sits on the t.v and watchs couch

two men walk into a bar the third one ducks

*gets ready to hide if they arent funny*
freinds: well there is super strange girl, super love girl ,dark angel girl, storm girl, cheeseball,gakl, emily,thang,ryan, and heaps more
oh you meant on here? well umm .... i have none here
__________________________________________

credit to hazuki
Age 32
Male
On board Thousand Sunny~
Seen March 4th, 2023
Posted October 18th, 2014
47 posts
15.7 Years
Three Unfortunate Men Were Caught By Barbarians One Fateful Night,In A Forest..
The Barbarian King Said "Pick One Kind Of Fruit In This Forest..And Bring 10 Of Them Here.."
Thus The 3 Men Did As The King Ordered Them To..
When The First Two Mens Came Quickly..He Told, "I will now stuff them into your ass..and if u dnt make any emotion at all, ill release you..but make one slight mistake, ill hack ur head off!"

Thus the first man presented apples.."One,Two,Three...."
By The Fourth apple was stuffed in his @ss, He screamed in pain...Thus He was hacked...;D

the second guy brought grapes.."one....three....nine..."
before the last grape was placed in, he laughed aloud..thus he was hacked as well..


these two dead men met in heaven..the first guy asked the other.."Hei..You Would Have Escaped If U Endured One More!! Y Did You Laugh?!"

The Other Guy Replied.."Cuz I saw The Third guy Bringing in DURIANS!!" :)
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3DS Friend Code : 4270 0767 8679 [Pokemon Y]
BITE ME! =D
Seen August 15th, 2008
Posted August 13th, 2008
195 posts
16.2 Years
I heard that joke, but it was Watermelons instead

I've got another one!(hears Groaning)

Boy: I want a turn of the Go-Kart
Other Boy: ok then, we'll have half and half, i have it downhill and you have it uphill
That's pretty funny.:) ......... HaHa
Sig under construction~
Age 29
North of the South Pole, South of the North Pole
Seen January 4th, 2015
Posted January 3rd, 2012
2,194 posts
16 Years
heres a lame one, one day this guy went to a artillery store(gun shop) he asked the clerk there for a gun and he came back with a 33 caliber. The guy wanted a bigger gun, so the clerk came back with a bigger gun. The guy still wanted a bigger one. The clerk asked "Why do you need such a big gun?" The guy responded "I wanna shoot cans", Clerk"Wtf? Cans?" The guy:"Yea..Mexicans, Americans, Africans,Puerto Ricans.."
Strong Island
Seen April 13th, 2008
Posted April 13th, 2008
642 posts
15.7 Years
wow... and I have thousands of 'em....
too bad about the clean factor...

worst pickup line ever:
Hey! How would you like to gain (your weight inserted here) pounds for a few minutes?



A guy comes back to the bar with a really weird look on his face, so he asks his friends a question.
"Guys... how tall can penguins get?"
"um.... I'd say as tall as this". (Friend outs his hand four feet above the ground)
"Are you sure?"
"POSITIVE"
"Oh great... then I definitely ran over a nun.."


Why was 10 afraid of 7?
because 789



A buddhist monk goes up to the hot dog vender and says "Make me ONE with everything".


Q: How do you entertain an idiot?
A: Ask me again in 5 minutes.


My trading thread, check it out!

Spoiler:

Feed me a Rare Candy!
some spoiler.. huh!


MY STANDARD BATTLE RULES:
Spoiler:

6 vs 6
Hax Items Clause
Hacks Clause
No Ubers
Sleep/OHKO/Evasion/ Clause
Turn around slowly.....
Seen February 26th, 2011
Posted February 26th, 2011
226 posts
15.6 Years
three people get stranded on a desert island and are captured by cannibals

the cannibals tell them that is they answer a question right they get one wish, anything at all

so the first one steps forward

the cannibal sais "what is my favourite colour?"

the person answers "red?"

he was right, so he wished to be back with his family

*poof*

the second person steps forward

the cannibal sais "what is the square root of 100"

the person answers "easy, 10"

he was right, so he wished to be back with his family

*poof*

the last man steps forward

the cannibal asks "which is better, salt or sugar?"

the person replies "sugar?"

he was right, so he sais

"i wish my friends were here"
Pokey name: Joe

ItzMike

Has made a triumphant comeback

Age 30
Male
Scotland
Seen December 5th, 2013
Posted November 27th, 2013
97 posts
15.6 Years
Yo mama's so fat that when someone said it was Chilly outside she ran out with a Spoon
Original Is Best :)

Prepare for a phantasmogorical panalopy of Magical power.

Friend Safari Type: Ice
Pokemon: Dewgong, Beartic, Snover.

Forest Grovyle

Resident Reptilian Artist

Age 36
Female
The deepest, darkest corner of Ilex Forest
Seen October 15th, 2019
Posted October 16th, 2013
3,348 posts
19.6 Years
Johnny, even though this thread was very close, you still bumped it when it was over a month old, and we can't make exceptions. So I am going to have to lock it. Make sure to read the last time of posting before replying.

*locks*

--FG

Forest Grovyle x wakachamo
~*paired since May 2007*~

Check out my Pokémon art tumblr at Poké-rama!