Falling On

Started by Manaphy1128 August 3rd, 2007 7:22 PM
  • 732 views
  • 5 replies
Age 26
Female
*shoots self*
Seen December 11th, 2010
Posted September 18th, 2010
867 posts
15.9 Years
I'm not sure where ideas come from...must be somewhere big to hold of mine...:


"Life is pain
Take it the way you should
Kill the burning soul
Make up your mind
of the world



"And there I do se the world,caring for us. And there I see the hands of fate finding balance in account"

Every day Sir Fallis said these words. Eveyday he repeated them to himself and others. Some is a lie. Some is true. Evidently, everyone heard when he was murdered with the knife. No one cried. They all knew he had passed on to a better place. Did he? Or will he be back to wreck havoc?


Falling On

"No no. Like this" Candace told her sister Whitney. Candace was showing her how to sew together a gown. This was the first attack of Sir Fallis.

Halfway through the gown, Candace had plunged the knitting needle deep into her finger.

'Help, Whitney! Help!" Candaces frightened shreiks ran over the room. They had both pulled hard to get it out. It wouldn't come. That night Candace bled to death on her bed, soaking it through. The village was frightened. Yet no one suspected Sir Fallis. They all blamed bad luck. Those silly people. They could have saved themselves.

This is the story of how Sir Fallis ruined the life of Kayla Long.

Chapter One

Kayla suspected nothing the day of the first of many to come attacks. It was a reasonably tempatured day of May, the sun beating down to the ground. She was going to swim practice as every Saturday. Quietly enjoying herself, she started humming. She stopped when she the pool. It said closed on the door.
"Thats impossible1" she said as she ran up to the door. She spotted another door aporting an Open sign on it. She walked inside, not knowing it would cost her pain and suffering. No one was there. She decided,"Hey, why not do a little swimming while I wait?"
Why did she?
She carfulley laid down her towel and propped her googles onto her face. She then dived in.
She didn't notice it at first. But then her skin started to burn.
It had way too much chlorine in it. It was scalding her.
And it was no accident.
"Help!" she screamed.
"I'm going to die!Get me out!"


So, how is it so far? Good? Bad? Bad? Really? wow. *thumbs up*

Dress up in your best / So I can be proud of you
Seen September 29th, 2017
Posted September 29th, 2009
1,613 posts
17.6 Years
I'm sorry to say it sounds comedic, People don't bleed to death from pricks on the finger, and Chlorine would have to be at an INCREDIBLE level in the pool to scald your skin, pour a pound of the stuff in the pool and the worst it will do is suverly irritate your skin, It sounds comedic mostly because of the deaths.
Age 26
Female
*shoots self*
Seen December 11th, 2010
Posted September 18th, 2010
867 posts
15.9 Years
Okay,you don't get it. When she bled to death, the needle went right through her flesh blood bone veins finger nail etc. to the other side of the finger. Since no one could get it out she had to bleed to death of all things. And yes there was so much chlorine in there. But so I try and fail. Ha. Close this please so I don't feel guilty to not post in here.

Dress up in your best / So I can be proud of you