Poetic Nature

Started by code zerro the deluge August 7th, 2007 7:01 PM
  • 808 views
  • 5 replies
Age 29
Maryland
Seen January 14th, 2009
Posted January 27th, 2008
459 posts
18.1 Years
Love flows like an arrow release and let it go
Let it flow let it show how much you know

Poetic Nature uplifting people is my cause
What is more important a win or a loss

Most rappers talk about how they are flossed out and I got rims
Money ****** and the fact that they got Tims

Well I bet 10 that the way I am I am better than them
Poetic Nature is here when they trim

People for justice nature for sex and lust
Its stupid silly so put your faith and trust

In Poetic Nature whether clean or dirty free or cussed
I am here to say enough is enough and its tough

Catchy frazes are on the air on the news
What would you choose real music or real fools
[urlhttp://soara.fc2web.com/img_icon/i_myuu.gif[/url]
http://soara.fc2web.com/img_icon/i_rathiosu_s.gif
http://www.serebiiforums.com/images...ario-sprite.png
http://soara.fc2web.com/img_icon/i_rathiasu.gif
http://soara.fc2web.com/img_icon/i_kaiooga.gif
http://soara.fc2web.com/img_icon/i_guraadon.gif
http://soara.fc2web.com/img_icon/i_rekkuuza.gif thanks Hristo Karamanov[/IMG][IMG]http://soara.fc2web.com/img_icon/i_myuu.gif[
video games are great until lights go out
( quote great just great)unquote

I was dr.jay

my two sites are http://www.freewebs.com/chimpythelonestar/
and join http://s7.invisionfree.com/Nintendo_Online

Me and Pink-Tiger together.


Phantom of Death is my Brother

Midori Chi my sis-in-law
So is fallen angel

join http://s7.invisionfree.com/Nintendo_Online
Age 26
Female
*shoots self*
Seen December 11th, 2010
Posted September 18th, 2010
867 posts
15.9 Years
Oh, that is gross. You get away with writing this and i'll be suprised.

But in poetic speak:

I think that you should use words instead of numbers. Also, I find that you say uplifting people is your cause, which I really don't feel up lifted by this. You're talking about how bad rappers are and you're writing like one. Don't hurt me for this.

Dress up in your best / So I can be proud of you
Age 29
Maryland
Seen January 14th, 2009
Posted January 27th, 2008
459 posts
18.1 Years
... wow i 4got i cant cuss here
[urlhttp://soara.fc2web.com/img_icon/i_myuu.gif[/url]
http://soara.fc2web.com/img_icon/i_rathiosu_s.gif
http://www.serebiiforums.com/images...ario-sprite.png
http://soara.fc2web.com/img_icon/i_rathiasu.gif
http://soara.fc2web.com/img_icon/i_kaiooga.gif
http://soara.fc2web.com/img_icon/i_guraadon.gif
http://soara.fc2web.com/img_icon/i_rekkuuza.gif thanks Hristo Karamanov[/IMG][IMG]http://soara.fc2web.com/img_icon/i_myuu.gif[
video games are great until lights go out
( quote great just great)unquote

I was dr.jay

my two sites are http://www.freewebs.com/chimpythelonestar/
and join http://s7.invisionfree.com/Nintendo_Online

Me and Pink-Tiger together.


Phantom of Death is my Brother

Midori Chi my sis-in-law
So is fallen angel

join http://s7.invisionfree.com/Nintendo_Online
Bittertown
Seen September 2nd, 2009
Posted December 28th, 2008
7,901 posts
19.7 Years
Love flows like an arrow release and let it go (worded a bit awkward)
Let it flow let it show how much you know

Poetic Nature uplifting people is my cause
What is more important a win or a loss

Most rappers talk about how they are flossed out and I got rims
Money ****** and the fact that they got Tims (I would love to know what this means :D)

Well I bet 10 that the way I am I am better than them (try to say "ten" instead of "10" because it would make your line look a little pleasing.)
Poetic Nature is here when they trim (slant rhyme?)

People for justice nature for sex and lust
[b]It's[b] stupid silly so put your faith and trust

In Poetic Nature whether clean or dirty free or cussed
I am here to say enough is enough and its tough

Catchy phrases are on the air on the news
What would you choose real music or real fools
Well, you certainly did improve from the beginning. Just to say, keep improving. Rap is one of those forms of poetry that kind of still needs an orthodox structure, and it's still pretty much hard to compare rap with any other rap material otherwise since it dramatically changes all the time. Otherwise, watch your spelling mistakes. Not sure if you intentionally did that because of ebonics, but if you did, it's really hard for other people to read ebonics. I suggest you stick to a style that pleases everyone, if that's what you're trying to look for. If you're being a "rebel" or something... well, this forum just isn't the place for that. Otherwise, keep on trying... I'm sure you have potential.

Pocket Monsters Special!