Bittertown
Seen September 2nd, 2009
Posted December 28th, 2008
7,901 posts
19.7 Years
critiques are always appreciated for this repost.


Shallow? (A Timeless and Awe-Inspiring Message To Whom It May Concern)

Say, mister, I heard of someone talking about death
And the infinite praises without any depth.
Critics brandish their sword-sharpened tongues,
Hurling their shallow thoughts of dung.

Tell me, my friend, how long shall we write about
Death or the same love you can’t live without?
Too much blood and cuts sickens my soul,
You might as well blacken your face with coal.

Hey, friend, are you writing the same rhymes
Over and over, trying to be obviously sublime
With repetitive lines, and bland emotions,
Followed by fans with blind devotion.

Why, this poem is almost like that one song
About that guy who wants to sing along.
Although I don’t care about the scent of teens
When no one knows what the hell it means…

Pocket Monsters Special!
Age 32
In a fantasy world!
Seen November 23rd, 2008
Posted March 12th, 2008
80 posts
17.9 Years
Haha, I really like it, it made me smile for some odd reason! =D But yeah the flow and rhyming was great, as well as the point of the poem! =) I know exactly what you mean by it, or at least my own interpretation of it, although i don't think it was a difficult poem to follow at all! =) And yeah, I can't really think of any critique or flaws so great job! =D *claps*

~Sam~
Bill Bandai: Everyone will by my seemingly innocent toys and pay their hard earned money for them!
Bill Clinton: So then the toys will rise up and destroy them?
Bill Bandai: No you ninny! They just SIT there, people will go mad wondering WHEN the toys will rise up and destroy them!!!!


The greatest thing, you'll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in return