Pushing The Boundaries - PG13

Started by ~Swish~ August 9th, 2007 12:52 PM
  • 1191 views
  • 11 replies
Age 35
Male
Oxford, England
Seen August 11th, 2020
Posted June 4th, 2014
622 posts
15.8 Years
Ok guys this is my first attempt at a story, period. I've never done anything like this, but I think I can do a satisfactory job. Im doing it simply as fun for myself but I hope that you can all enjoy it as well. Before I start I want you to know this is in no way going to be anywhere near the standard of some of the amazing stories I've read here so please do not be too critical of me. Some of these writers have a lot of talent, but its something I've never even attempted before so I'm just gonna do my best and see what happens! I haven't a clue if my writing style is good or not, but I'm more focused on the story and the character than anything else. I am from England so if anything doesn't make sense to you then please ask and I will endeavor to explain things in a different way.

I am going to be adding and taking things out of the story as I go along, but there will be nothing extreme at all in the story, give or take a few swear words maybe, but unlikely. PG-13 rating.

Wish me luck, and most of all, enjoy!

PS: Sorry their isn't much Pokemon right now, they will come. Right now I'm just introducing my character.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 1 - Indepedence Day

'Diiiiiing, diiiiiing'.

Yep, there it goes again, the same old alarm clock. At the same time, waking up to the same smell of breakfast downstairs. Today was just going to be another ordinary and fairly uneventful day. As the sun beamed down on the small town of Pallet, a light groan could be heard coming from one of the smallest houses in the town.

There was nothing special about the person who groaned, in fact it was an everyday occurance. This person was just your average, everyday teenager who valued the comfort of his soft pillow and duvet above many other things. Yet there was something different about this teenager as well.

19 year old Ben Warren groaned while he attempted to lift his head from his pillow before effortlessly giving up, before finally gathering up his strength to get out of bed. His bedroom was fairly small and all 4 walls had pictures of different Pokemon, ranging from common popular monsters like Nidoran to rarer Pokemon such as Dragonite. As he reached for the lightswitch above his head he could feel himself slipping off the side of the bed. He tried to regain his balance but it was too late. Thud!

Ben landed on the floor in a crumpled heap. Running footsteps could be heard from the stairs, getting louder before 2 people burst into his bedroom to find the crumpled teen grinning up at them from the floor.

'Oh Ben you gotta stop trying to switch that light on, just ask me next time, you could really hurt yourself!' insisted his Mum.

'Look at me, I'm fine, no harm done' Ben replied.

Lindsey his little sister just giggled at the sight of her older brother on the floor once again. Ben decided that now he had got this far he may as well get dressed. He lifted himself from the floor back onto the side of his bed before hopping into a silver titanium framed wheelchair, the same special chair that has been with him most of his life.

When Ben was born he was instantly diagnosed with a syndrome known as Sacral Agenesis, meaning he was born without the bottom half of his spine, leaving him paralysed from the waist below, and wheelchair bound for all his life.

Once Ben strapped himself into his chair, he lifted his 2 front wheels and sped out of the bedroom door nearly knocking his Dad over in the process. He stopped at the top of the staircase and looked down, before balancing up expertly on his 2 back wheels and one by one bounced himself and his chair down each step. As Ben reached the final step he launched his chair forward and did a 180 degree turn in the air before landing perfectly on all 4 wheels. He looked in the downstairs mirror and grinned to himself, before making his way to the kitchen table.

‘What’s the plan for today then Mum?’ Ben asked his Mum as she laid out plates and cutlery ready for breakfast.

‘Just some food shopping as usual, nothing special. What about you?’.

‘I was thinking about going to see Professor Oak, see him about getting a Pokemon’.

Janet his Mum cast her eyes towards the ceiling and gave Bens Dad a ‘here we go again’ sort of look. Ben has always dreamed about going on adventures with his Pokemon friends by his side, but many people have simply claimed that there is no way someone ‘in his condition’ could be a Pokemon trainer. He had dreamed of being a Pokemon trainer as soon as he learnt about them and came in contact with some for the first time as a 5 year old. Many children have ideas of becoming a racing driver, an astronaut, a fire fighter, but Ben had a fascination with Pokemon that had just grown and grown and was still with him to this day.

His parents had always strived to support their son in whatever he did, but when it came to his idea of becoming a Pokemon trainer they were not so supportive. Time and time again whenever Ben even mentioned the idea his parents would highlight their doubts about it.

‘How would you cope with the travelling around?’.

‘What if you got stuck somewhere?’.

‘What if you got attacked by Pokemon? You wouldn’t be able to get away!’.

The same excuses from his parents were coming out once again today. Ben longed to be independent and as much as he loved his parents, he badly wanted to explore many different cities and regions, and most of all encounter and catch some Pokemon. He also has a strong competitive nature and his dream as well as meeting and catching Pokemon, was to prove all his doubters wrong and become the first trainer with a disability to compete, and win in the Pokemon League.

Ben had many dreams regarding Pokemon, but the thing he wanted most of all, was respect, and that he could do anything he wanted without the doubts. It upset him that all his friends had gone on their Pokemon journeys many years ago now, some of them even competing in various different Pokemon leagues. Most notably one of his best friends that he has known since school called Arthur had reached the final four of the Indigo Plateau just a few years ago and was a renowned trainer. Though they are best friends and Ben was happy for Arthur, he couldn’t help but feel a hint of jealously over his friend’s success.

After going through what seemed like hundreds of reasons why Ben shouldn’t go on a Pokemon journey, his Mum finally drew breath and carried on dishing up breakfast. By this time Ben had heard every excuse in the book. He would usually just give up and accept whatever his parents said, but something was different this time round. Anger started building up inside him, also jealousy of his friends and also annoyance at his parents holding him back. This time he couldn’t hold it in anymore. Ben slammed his fist down on the table and cutlery fell onto the floor. He was shaking and tears started building up in his eyes.

His reaction wasn’t something his parents had ever seen from him before. A few words muttered under his breath or just a sigh of disappointment was what they were used to, but this time it was physical and an emotional outburst. Ben was even surprised at his own reaction, but he didn’t really seem to try and control it this time. This time he’s had it with them.

‘I’m sick to death of being wrapped up in cotton wool. Do you really want me to stay in each day, not go out with friends, or anything?’

Ben argued many times with his parents about not being able to go out much, but usually in a more controlled manner, but this time he was mad.

‘I’m sick of constantly being told I can’t do this, can’t do that. God sake, I’m surprised you don’t come in and wipe my ass for me when I’m in the toilet!’

‘You can’t continually control every single aspect of my life.’ ‘I want this so bad! Let me go Mum! Just let me go, I want this more than anything!’

By this time Ben was scaring himself with his reaction and wasn’t sure if he should have reacted like this. By this time though it was too late, he couldn’t take back what he said, this was it. Ben wheeled out from the edge of the table and made for the front door, tears now streaming down his face. He opened the front door, hearing nothing but shouts from his parents asking him where he was going. But they knew really.
Name: Ben
3DS Friend Code: 4983-6179-2125


Please subscribe to my Youtube channel to see my latest battles!
http://www.youtube.com/swishpokemon
Age 36
Seen 15 Hours Ago
Posted 2 Days Ago
This is actually really good. It's rare to see a trainer with such a big disability that Ben has try to make it in the world. Your story sticks out because of the setback your character has. And now I'm interested to read the rest of this to see how Ben does.

So yeah, have more confidence in your writing abilities. You did rather well for your first time.

Avatar credit: Fairy
Age 35
Male
Oxford, England
Seen August 11th, 2020
Posted June 4th, 2014
622 posts
15.8 Years
Thanks for the comments guys, much appreciated, keep them coming :).

2 - Letting Go

Ben pushed with all his might as far as he could before he grazed the edge of a pathway kerb and fell sideways out his chair. He didn’t even attempt to get out of the fallen chair; he just lay on the wet morning grass and broke down in a strong emotional outburst.

It was some 10 minutes later before Ben regained his composure and started to calm himself down. He had never defied his parents in that way before. Soon he started to feel guilty about storming out like that. He knew it was only because they care so much that they felt so strongly about him leaving home. It wasn’t until he got himself back into his chair that he looked around to see where he was. He was pleased to see he hadn’t gone too far along Route 1 and could still see his house in the distance.

He pushed back home, a lot more slowly than when he had left. He wasn’t sure what he was going to say to his parents, or how they would react. Once he reached his house and got back inside, his parents were sat in the lounge looking distinctly worried. Janet his Mum let out a huge sigh of relief when they saw Ben arriving back and flung her arms around him.

‘Mum, I’m so sorry about that, I can’t believe what I did.’

‘Ben its ok, I understand. Me and your father have been doing some serious thinking while you were out.’

Ben, obviously curious replied ‘Thinking about what exactly?’

His Mum paused for a few seconds before replying, ‘Its true we do worry about you going out and getting hurt, but we’ve realised now that its become too much and that you should have much more of a life of your own.’

‘What are you trying to say Mum?’ Ben replied curiously, but now getting slightly more excited.

‘Well, it’s about time we let you go and live your dream. We can’t smother you forever! Look Ben, I’m so sorry about holding you back. It’s only because we care about you so much, but we can’t deny you the chance to live your own life now your nearly out your teens!’

By this time Ben was shaking again, but this time it wasn’t through anger. Maybe he has had a breakthrough with his parents.

‘I phoned Professor Oak just a minute ago, and he would be happy for you to go and visit him at his lab. I know I won’t stop worrying about you Ben but we have to let you live your own life.’

‘Does this mean your letting me become a Pokemon Trainer, or am I just hearing things?’

‘You’ve heard right’ replied his Mum with a smile on her face.

After having a face of anguish just a few minutes ago, Ben now had the widest smile imaginable. He hugged both his parents and his little sister 8 year old Lindsey, and climbed upstairs, not caring that he left his chair on the ground floor. He knew he wouldn’t be able to lug around huge bags with him on his journey so he packed away only the things he would really need on his journey. When he finished he bounced his way down each step one by one with his bag behind him, before jumping back into his chair and fixing the bag to the handles of his chariot! He asked his family if they would accompany him to Professor Oak’s lab, and they obliged.

After the short 5 minute journey to the lab, Ben along with his parents and little sister sat outside the entrance, barely containing his excitement. He looked up at his parents and saw that though they were happy at how excited their son was they still seemed to have concerns about the adventure their son was embarking on.

‘Mum, before I see the Professor, are you sure your ok with this?’

‘I wouldn’t be much of a mother if I said I wasn’t worried, but I just want you to be happy, and if this is what you want to do then I’m fully supportive.’

Those were the words Ben had been waiting to hear from his Mum for many years now, and finally his parents had realised that their constant mothering of him wasn’t ever going to benefit him in the long run. As Ben finished smiling up at his Mum, a voice was heard over the entrance intercom system.

‘Ah Ben, you’ve finally arrived. Please, do come in and join me in my lab in the far right room.’

The voice was instantly recognisable as the great Professor Oak's, and Ben quickly entered inside the building, closely followed by his family. When they reached the entrance to Oaks laboratory, Ben was finally realising that his dream was coming true. Just as he was about to enter the lab, Oak jumped out from behind a plastic screen and welcomed him.

‘Great to see you young Ben, please follow me this way.’

Ben nodded in acknowledgment and followed him into a smaller room which contained at least 100 different Pokeballs. 3 of these Pokeballs were set out in the middle of the room.

‘So Ben, which Pokemon will it be? Bulbasaur the grass type? Charmander the fire type? Or perhaps Squirtle the water type?’

Ben looked dumbstruck. In all the excitement he had completely forgotten that he had a choice of what Pokemon to choose. In his dreams he had always known which monster to pick, but now this was really happening, he didn’t know what to do.

‘I, erm, I’m not sure Professor, I like all 3.’

‘Well I’m afraid you can’t have all 3 Ben’ laughed Oak.

‘Take your time though; it’s a difficult decision for any trainer to make.’

Ben stared blankly at the 3 Pokeballs laid out in front of him, trying to think of the pros and cons of each Pokemon. He had so many different things going on in his head he wasn’t sure what to do. After 5 minutes of thinking, Ben’s expression changed from bland and thoughtful to one of determination.

‘I’ve decided Professor.’

‘Ok, which one is it to be Ben?’ replied Oak. ‘

I’m going to choose……Charmander!’

Ben was delighted that he had finally gotten hold of his own Pokemon.

‘An excellent choice Ben, I’m sure you and your Charmander will be the best of friends’ Oak said as he handed Ben the red and white Pokeball that contained the creature.

‘Go on, don’t be shy, say hello to Charmander!’ Oak urged.

Ben nodded and threw the Pokeball. A white light appeared from the Pokeball and in the middle of the room, the 2 ft. tall fire Pokemon Charmander appeared.

‘Char, Char!’

Again the wide smile appeared from Ben. His parents stood proudly behind him as Ben rolled up towards Charmander, and spoke to him for the very first time.

‘Hey Charmander, my names Ben, I’m your new trainer, and friend!’

Charmander’s expression was a happy one as he jumped onto Ben’s lap and licked his face before letting out a happy cry of ‘Char, Char!’.

Professor Oak smiled as he could see that they were going to be great friends. Charmander continued to lick Ben’s face while his burning tail swung around in the air. Charmander got so excited his flame almost doubled in size and accidentally caught the edge of one of Ben’s wheels on his chair and the wheel instantly popped, leaving Ben on the floor laughing with his new friend laid on top of him looking slightly puzzled!

‘At least I got a spare tyre at home!’ Ben laughed.

‘Oh I almost forgot, please, take this Pokedex and 5 Pokeballs to catch Pokemon in.’ Oak exclaimed.

Ben took the items and put them into his bag along with the rest of his stuff.

‘It looks like your ready to begin Ben, are you sure your up to the task?’

Ben’s expression changed once again, to a more serious one.

‘Professor, I’ve been told by so many different people that I couldn’t ever become a trainer. It’s up to me to prove them wrong. I got to change people’s perceptions on disability and show that I’m more than capable of looking after and training my Pokemon as well as reaching the Pokemon League.’

Oak nodded in agreement.

‘I am already impressed with the attitude that you have Ben, I’m sure that that alone will get you as far as you intend.’

Ben said his goodbye to Professor Oak and went back home to repair the punctured tyre. Once the tyre was finished, he went into the kitchen where his parents and his little sister sat.

‘This is it Ben, your finally starting what you set out to achieve. We never meant to hold you back so long, but we realise that we can’t deny you this opportunity.’

His Mum had tears in her eyes while she said it, but she carried on.

‘Ben please, make sure you call whenever you can, I’ll send you money whenever you need it, send me your washing as well, oh don’t forget food….’.

‘Ok Mum, I think I’ll be ok’ Ben laughed as he made sure his Pokeballs were secured to his chair.

‘Take care son, make sure you keep in contact with us, we know what your mother is like, we don’t want her worrying all day and night!’ said his Dad, John.

‘It’s ok Dad, I’ll keep in contact.’

By this time as much as he knew he was going to miss his family, he couldn’t wait to get going. Ben left out the front door as his parents watched him heading towards Route 1, waving and saying their goodbyes. Both parents had tears in their eyes.

‘John, he will be ok won’t he? Should we have really let him go?’

‘We had to let him go sometime; we couldn’t hold him back all this time. But your right, I can’t help but worry’ replied John.

Ben knew his parents would worry, that’s just their nature, but he was determined to show them and everybody else that he could cope with anything and everything thrown at him. As Ben headed towards the pathway on Route 1, he was just trying to imagine what creatures he would meet on his journey. He wondered what sort of reception he would get from people being a wheelchair user in an able bodied person’s world. No wheelchair user had even attempted to become a trainer, never mind have aspirations of becoming a Pokemon Master and League Champion. Ben just hoped that he could keep up his drive and determination to beat the odds and reach his goals.


I wasn't so happy with this chapter, don't ask me why, I'm not really sure why. I was fairly pleased with the start, I think its more the trainer gets his pokemon story part. Don't worry, I am going to try and distance it from the anime, but this particular part its pretty hard.
Name: Ben
3DS Friend Code: 4983-6179-2125


Please subscribe to my Youtube channel to see my latest battles!
http://www.youtube.com/swishpokemon
Age 36
Seen 15 Hours Ago
Posted 2 Days Ago
It's understandable that you are worried about following the anime/games closely with this chapter. But it is a needed chapter. Your character needs to get his starter Pokemon somehow, and there are few other ways he could get on. xD But don't worry. You already distanced yourself from other writers of this genre by both quality and the choice of a main character.

There were a few small grammar mistakes. In some lines of dialog, I noticed that you missed the comma before or after the quotation marks. But it's nothing big. (Just ask me if you would like me to point them out to you.)

EDIT: Got your PM, so I read through your chapter again to find these errors. If you don't see an explanation after the quote, that means that I just fixed the error in bold in the quote.

Once he reached his house and got back inside, his parents were sat in the lounge looking distinctly worried.
"sitting"

Janet his Mum let out a huge sigh of relief when they saw Ben arriving back and flung her arms around him.
Should be "Janet, his mum, let out..." If "mum" doesn't replace "Janet" in a sentence, then it isn't capitalized.

Ben, obviously curious, replied, ‘Thinking about what exactly?’
Its true we do worry about you going out and getting hurt, but we’ve realised now that its become too much and that you should have much more of a life of your own.’
"Its" is the possessive form. You are looking for "it's", which is the contraction of "it is" and other various "being" verbs.

now your nearly out your teens!’
Wrong word there. You need "you're", which is the contraction of "you are". (To me, it sounds better to have a "that" between "now" and "you're". It reads better to me that way.)

know I won’t stop worrying about you, Ben, but we have to let you live your own life.’
Does this mean your letting me become a Pokemon Trainer, or am I just hearing things?’
"you're"

You’ve heard right’ replied his Mum with a smile on her face.
You're missing the punctuation before the closing quotation mark, which would be a comma. And "mum" isn't capitalized. (I might have missed a few instances of this, but you get the idea.)

He hugged both his parents and his little sister, 8 year old Lindsey,
Ben, along with his parents and little sister, sat outside the entrance,
Mum, before I see the Professor, are you sure your ok with this?’
"you're"

When they reached the entrance to Oak's laboratory,
Forgot the apostrophe to make this a possessive.

In his dreams he had always known which monster to pick, but now this was really happening, he didn’t know what to do.
Either "now that this was really happening" or "now this was really happening; he didn't know what to do".

‘Well I’m afraid you can’t have all 3 Ben’ laughed Oak.
You forgot the punctuation before the closing quotation mark, which should be a comma. And actually, you could have placed both of Oak's dialog in the same paragraph.



I’m going to choose……Charmander!’
You seemed to have left your beginning quotation mark hanging. And you only need three full stops to make an ellipsis.

An excellent choice Ben, I’m sure you and your Charmander will be the best of friends’ Oak said as he handed Ben the red and white Pokeball that contained the creature.
You forgot the punctuation before the ending quotation mark, which should be a comma. And again, the dialog that follows this could be in the same paragraph.

my names Ben
Here you need the contraction for "name is".

Charmander got so excited his flame almost doubled in size and accidentally caught the edge of one of Ben’s wheels on his chair and the wheel instantly popped, leaving Ben on the floor laughing with his new friend laid on top of him looking slightly puzzled!
This reads like a run-on sentence. There are a few ways that you could split this sentence up into two (or more).

Oh I almost forgot, please, take this Pokedex and 5 Pokeballs to catch Pokemon in.’ Oak exclaimed.
That full stop should be an exclamation point.

‘It looks like your ready to begin Ben, are you sure your up to the task?’
Two in one setence: "you're".

This is it Ben, your finally starting what you set out to achieve.
"you're"

Ok Mum, I think I’ll be ok’ Ben laughed as he made sure his Pokeballs were secured to his chair.
Missing the punctuation before the closing quotation marks, which could either be a full stop or a comma.

John, he will be ok, won’t he? Should we have really let him go?’
But your right, I can’t help but worry’ replied John.
"you're" and missing punctuation before the last quotation mark.

-

x.x I think that's it now. Just tell me if you would like me to do this for each chapter.

Avatar credit: Fairy
Age 35
Male
Oxford, England
Seen August 11th, 2020
Posted June 4th, 2014
622 posts
15.8 Years
I knew grammar wasn't my strongest point, but oh dear :embarrass. Thanks for this though Hananko :).

Ah well, I can correct most of it in my next chapters, but like I said I'm more focused on the story itself. I'm sure it's still readable at least ;). Keep on reading guys, my next chapter will probably be a few days away as I have to prepare for the wi-fi tournament currently happening.
Name: Ben
3DS Friend Code: 4983-6179-2125


Please subscribe to my Youtube channel to see my latest battles!
http://www.youtube.com/swishpokemon
Age 35
Male
Oxford, England
Seen August 11th, 2020
Posted June 4th, 2014
622 posts
15.8 Years
Wow, nearly 3 months and I haven't updated this! Got to change that! I kind of drifted away from Pokemon for a bit but thanks to friends and the fact I've started playing Diamond again I'm gonna try and get this going again.
Name: Ben
3DS Friend Code: 4983-6179-2125


Please subscribe to my Youtube channel to see my latest battles!
http://www.youtube.com/swishpokemon
Age 30
The Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Seen June 25th, 2008
Posted February 9th, 2008
109 posts
15.6 Years
Aye, 'tis a great story. Sorry I haven't got around to reading it before now. I hope you continue the English writing *shakes fist in encouraging way*



Muhahahahah- Fear President Showaddywaddy, the all powerful Umbreon and....
Oops, sorry. That was the voices in my head speaking:paranoid:


As a wise man once said

"Be nice to nerds, they will one day be your boss"

I hope he was right.:nervous:
Age 35
Male
Oxford, England
Seen August 11th, 2020
Posted June 4th, 2014
622 posts
15.8 Years
Thanks guys. Always appreciate your comments. I been pretty busy moving stuff out of my room as we are having an extension built on our house which involves adding doors to some of my walls, but once I've sorted all that out in the next day or 2 I should get to some writing.
Name: Ben
3DS Friend Code: 4983-6179-2125


Please subscribe to my Youtube channel to see my latest battles!
http://www.youtube.com/swishpokemon