Ash cheats on Pokemon

[Lord Mike]

The year 2050 AD​

Ash and Pikachu are happily married. They were happily married. Until one day.

Ash: Got to work ovetime tonight. I'll be home around 12:00.
Pikachu: Ok Ash! I love you!

Ash walks out the door.

Ash (mummbling): Time to go meet Raichu!

Ash arrives at Raichu's house in his Ford Escape Hybrid.

He walks out of the car and discovers something. A scratch on his car!

Ash: MY HYBRID!!!
Voices: Hahaha! Son of a...
Ash: You! I knew it! Off with your head Griffin!
Stewie: What are you going to do about it?
Ash: Cut off your head!

Ash pulled out a knife.

Stewie: NO! Don't hurt me!
Ash: OH! What? With this?

Ash pulled out a samuri sword.

Stewie: AH! NO!

5 minutes later.

Ash: Now that Baby Griffin is done, I fiddle around with Raichu!

Ash rings the doorbell.

Raichu: Hi! Can we play?
Ash: Sure.

Ash and Raichu did what they did best.

Ash: Great day! I want fiddle more next time!
Raichu: Have you divorced Pikachu yet?
Ash: Uh, well.
Raichu: Divorce her or I'll use Thunderbolt!
Ash: Ok, I will!
Raichu: Good.

The next day.

Pikachu: Honey, I want to see if you like these burmuda shorts.
Ash: SHUT UP! You are at my mercy!
Pikachu: What the...

Ash was pointing a rifle at Pikachu.

Pikachu: HONEY!
Ash: That's peanut butter and jelly for your information!

Ash ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Ash: HEHEHEHAHAHA!!! SOUL PATROL!
Pikachu: Ok. That was weird.
Ash: Uh. Yeah, well Taylor Hicks won American Idol.
Pikachu: THIS IS MONGOLIA!!!
Ash: Oh, yeah. Well, anyway. HEHEHEHAHAHA!!! MCPHEEVER!
Pikachu: Never mind.
Ash: You're done anyway!

Pikachu fell to the ground.

Raichu burst through the door.

Raichu: Good! Pikachu's done! Now.
Ash: SHUT UP!
Raichu: WHAT?
Ash: I SAID SHUT UP YOU LITTLE INSINT!!!
Raichu: Why do you want to kill me?

Raichu fell to the ground.

Ash: YES! I'm a seriel killer!
Dumb Police Officer: Two Pokemon killed? Hmmm. Is that bad?
Dumber Police Officer: Nope. Just two Pokemon. No harm done.

Ash: HEHEHEHAHAHA!!!

Ash fell to the ground.

No ones happy.

 

[Alter Ego]

[Quote="Akinari from the Pokemon Fanfiction Forum Rules]2. Script fanfictions are allowed but only well written ones. Those that are unprofessionally written will be discouraged.[/Quote]

Please read the rules before posting. ~_~

I don't even know how to begin commenting on this one without making it fall under the no bashing rule, so suffice to say that this 'fanfic' strikes me as pointless and incredibly rushed. First off, Ash and Pikachu being married...is this your idea of humor? Well, if it is then I definitely don't share it, and the same goes for samurai swords being pulled out of nowhere, especially since you misspelled 'Samurai', although this is irrelevant as the correct term would be Katana or Wakishashi anyway, depending on which sword you are referring to. And of course, the plot isn't getting any better as this whole thing progresses, which led me to stop reading about halfway through. The poor spelling and grammar as well as your awkward script form didn't help it either. Quite frankly, I find myself unable to find anything positive at all to say about this fic, the whole Ash with Raichu thing is also seriously disgusting and completely unsuitable for this place. There are minors reading these things for crying out loud! And pointless violence/unnatural acts with pokémon are neither appropriate nor funny. <.<