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Blood & Tears

Sumomo & Kotoko

    • 1,947
    Posts
    20
    Years
    • Seen Feb 14, 2012
    Blood & Tears

    A teenage girl, a knife at her wrist
    Why? she asks
    The emotion pours, like the blood on her arms
    Why me? she pleads
    Tired of crying tears she lets the blood run instead
    For her it is so much easier, easier than life
    Whats the use of living?

    She breathes agony like oxygen, silently screaming
    for someone to listen, to hold her, and tell her she's worth it
    She crys out for something to live for, someone to love her

    But there is nothing, there is no one,
    To hold her and clean her wounded heart,
    Caked with blood and the salt of her tears

    She doesn't know of the One,
    weeping for her, for her soul, for her very existence

    Nobody has told her that there is anything,
    anything but the abuse, the lies,
    the pain and terror, of anything but the blood & tears

    Her blood sprinkles onto the ground like rain
    Darkness takes her hand,
    Slowly the pain is over,
    Her life is gone
    gone forever
    because nobody told her there was anything
    but the blood & tears    ​
     
    Hmmmm...7.5/10. I don't usually like poems that have no logical rhyme or rhythm, as this one doesn't. That takes away from my enjoyment to some extent. On the other hand, it's emotional and psychologically descriptive. I like that. I'd enjoy seeing mor elaboration on "the One" and perhaps a line or two on WHY she's this way. Otherwise, good work, it sounds like you might have a bit of personal experience in this area.
     
    It's good, and I do like the feel of it... it feels more like a song lyric than a poem though.
     
    I'm a goth! ^^, Even though i act cheery here. I'm the opposite at school XD. Well, anyways, very descriptive, though you could add a bit more rhyming in some areas.....8/10! ^^, TO THA DICTIONARY!! LOL j/k ^^,
    [PokeCommunity.com] Blood & Tears
     
    ooc;I have a friend who's a goth,but...not me..I just read this cause the title got my attention...I do like blood and guts though!
     
    I don't see why rhyming matters. Besides, most poems that rhyme don't have much of a theme. But as for me, I really liked this. I think its very deep, and emotional. Very good job.

    *dies*
     
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