Dementia

[Bounsweet]

Dementia, while not a disease in itself, is basically an umbrella term for cognitively degenerative diseases, usually in reference to Alzheimer's or Parkinson's. It's very scary to witness, let alone be a caretaker of someone with dementia.

Have you ever dealt with a loved one being diagnosed with it? What's your experience on the matter? How did you cope?

This is something interesting I found that actually inspired me to make this thread, and is worth checking out: https://www.boredpanda.com/alzheimers-disease-self-portrait-paintings-william-utermohlen/

(this topic might be more suited for the treehouse but I wasn't sure so I went with my gut)

 

[Circuit]

Before I was born my biological father left my mother to fend for herself and for me, with very little income and no property at all. My mother was forced to move in with her parents in order to give me a roof over my head. She only worked part time, but saved every bit of money possible to eventually get our own place.

My grandparents were lovely, and the household we lived in was everything I could ask for. I can't imagine anything better. In particular, my grandmother was the most kind, lovely person I have ever known. She would always be happy, always have time for me, and would support whatever decision I made. She would chastise my grandfather when he would give me 'horse-bites' or 'chin-rubs' and would always have time to listen to me. In 2002, but unknown to me at the time, my grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. That same year my mother and I moved out. I saw less of my grandmother, but I still saw them a lot. But my nan eventually began to change. She'd pick up little habits such as twitches, and she'd become more and more easily frustrated with herself. Eventually my nan got so bad that my grandad couldn't care for her himself, having a false leg. They had to move out to a care home around an hour and a half away. I saw even less of my nan, and whilst at this care home, which was very bad to say the least, she began to lose her smile. Of course I noticed, but being as young as I was, I couldn't understand what was happening. When my grandparents moved to a different nursing home, I was around 11 years old. It was there my grandparents ended up staying. After a year of living there, my nan went into intensive care. We could rarely see her. This is when I began to understand something really wasn't right, when I wasn't allowed to see my nan, who had always supported me and always smiled at me. During her time in the intensive care, I captured the last picture I believe our family has of her smiling, the Christmas I got my DSi. Not long after that she went into hospital. We saw her many times, but she was always very distressed, and very unhappy. The last time I saw her, my mum had prior tried to convince me not to go along, as she didn't want my memory of my nan to be of her in hospital. Needless to say, I went. She didn't recognise me, and could barely move or respond to anyone. The day after that she died.

I will emphasise that my nan was the most lovely person I have every met, and didn't even reach 70. There's not a day goes by where I don't wonder what my nan would think of what I'm doing, where I am now. There's not a day where I don't remember her smiling face. And I'm crying just writing this. I sincerely hope none of you have to experience what it is like to see a family member you hold dear forget who you are.

The funeral was the worst. I still remember the curtains closing on her coffin emphasising her passing, making it something real to me, something that hurts so much. I don't think I would have coped very well at all, if I didn't have my mum who also suffered greatly when nan passed away. We suffered together, and eventually were able to go days without crying together. The hole nan left in me won't ever be filled in, I don't think. God do I miss her.

 

[Bounsweet]

It's so interesting to me how people can react completely on opposite ends of the spectrum when it comes to dealing with dementia. My mom used to make me to visit my grandma since her nursing home was very close, and she would guilt me if I ever wanted to stay home or not visit my grandma for a few days. So I spent a good 8 years of my life visiting her nursing home(s) and hospitals twice a week. Other than that, I was more or less in the exact same situation as you, NinjaAiden. My parents lived with my grandmother when I was born and for about a year after that, but even after we moved she watched me on a regular basis up until I started grade school.

She had a gradual decline, first she was in a senior apartment complex that offered some assistance to those who wanted it, but then she started falling a lot (I despise that the "Help I've fallen and I can't get up" commercial humors people, that's seriously scary muk.) and spent the last 8 years of her life in a nursing home.

It's heartbreaking and depressing to see someone gradually lose recognition in you, until you're a complete stranger in their eyes. But sometimes they have moments when they understand who you are, and where they are, and will start crying or become so distressed, then slip back into forgetting everything. It's very common for their personality to change entirely too, I've seen many nursing home residents who will scream profanities at the nurses, but their families said that before the dementia set in, they were very nice people who volunteered or participated in charities.

 

[Shining Raichu]

Is Parkinson's Disease a form of dementia? My grandfather died from it last year and had all his faculties about him until the very end.

 

[Her]

Is Parkinson's Disease a form of dementia? My grandfather died from it last year and had all his faculties about him until the very end.

Nah, Parkinson's disease is its own disorder. Dementia can be caused by Parkinson's though, usually once the disorder has become particularly advanced. Some people don't develop it at all, though.

 

[Lucid]

Aww... This is a rough topic. I know I normally just post BS, and I've been debating to get into this, but I'll share.

When I was 13, my grandmother died and my grandfather's dementia set in about a year later. It was pretty mild at first, but by the time I was 16, it was so bad he could no longer live independently, so my mom and I ended up moving in so she could take care of him 24/7. That's when he was diagnosed with Alzheimers. It was the most heart braking 2 years of my life. He literally just deteriorated every day. Within the first 6 months he didn't even know my name. Physically, he was healthy as most 60 year olds, but his mind literally faded away while his body hung in there, at 87, he could still take 2 mile long walks with no sweat. Eventually, he started having strokes and it just got worse. He started humming and talking nonsense constantly, just babbling like toddlers do nonstop and knocking on doors. He started falling a lot too and didn't sleep at night. He'd never sleep as far as I remember. He'd just walk the house 24/7, mumbling and knocking on things. He had a few more strokes before falling into a coma at 98 and eventually passing after a couple of months.

It's a miserable process to watch. I have a huge family, 3 uncles, 3 aunts, over 40 cousins and all their kids, plus extended, but people stayed away. In those 3 years he was really bad off, maybe 5 family members came to see him. No one wants to remember a relative like that, it hurts. People want to remember the good times. When we were living with him, it made me really mad, but I get it more now, that it's just so heartbreaking to see. Honestly, I don't know if I could stand to watch someone rot away like that again. My dad died when I was 2 and watching the only father figure in my life lose his mind to this disease was rough. It's an awful thing, you watch your loved ones slowly die, little by little and are left with a shell of a person.