Emeralds pokemon fan fic

[jamie emerald]

hey all this is my 1st fan fic and well this is a preview of the 1st chapter to see if anyones interested in this story :) .
i havent got a title of the book yet im still tihnking of one but here is the preview of chapter one

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Jamie Emerald, just having competed in the indigo league and coming in 11th place he goes home to cerulean city where he gets told by one of his best friends, misty the cerulean gym leader he should try out the league in a other country. As Jamie gets ready to leave to go to a place called Hoen, he leaves his Golduck, Nidoking and kingler at the cerulean gym and takes with him his 1st Pokemon Totodile and his other Pokemon, Charmeleon and Pidgeotto and gets new cloths and then leaves to see professor oak who has a updated Pokedex for him to collect and to catch the boat near pallet town to take him to hoen.
On the way to oaks Jamie runs into a girl with pink hair, her name is Julie and she is trying to get to pallet town to get her 1st Pokemon but got lost in the viridian forest, there introduction however is cut short when they are attacked by heard of Beedrill. When they reach pallet town and professor oaks place, it is time for Julie to pick her 1st Pokemon but what one will it be bulbasaur Charmander or Squirtle.

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i hope you all like it and please tell me what you think of it and when i finish the actual chapter i will post it
thankyou

 

[ArKiVe]

I think it's purtty good. At least it's more easy to understand than my sucktastic one. It's Father of Ash.

 

[Strawberry Delcatty]

Jamie Emerald, after competing in the Indigo League and coming in eleventh place, goes home to Cerulean City. He is told by one of his best friends, Misty, the Cerulean Gym Leader, that he should try out a league in a other country. As Jamie gets ready to leave for a place called Hoenn, he leaves his Golduck, Nidoking, and Kingler at the Cerulean Gym. He takes with him his first Pokemon, Totodile, and his Charmeleon and Pidgeotto and gets new clothes. He leaves to see Professor Oak who has a updated Pokedex for him to collect and to catch the boat near Pallet Town to take him to Hoenn.*
On the way to Oak's lab, Jamie runs into a girl with pink hair. Her name is Julie, and she is trying to get to Pallet Town to get her first Pokemon. However, she says that she was lost in the Viridian Forest. Their introduction, however, is cut short when they are attacked by swarm** of Beedrill. When they reach Pallet Town and Professor Oak's lab, it is time for Julie to pick her first Pokemon...

Which one will it be? Bulbasaur, Charmander, or Squirtle?

There. I've corrected all your mistakes for you.

*This sentence is awkward. Does the Pokedex collect and catch the boat near Pallet Town?
**Herd is for cattle. For bugs (or Bug-type Pokemon), use swarm for a group of them.

Even with the corrected errors, don't think that it'll be around too long. Niko will lock this in a split second.

https://www.pokecommunity.com/threads/27806
https://www.pokecommunity.com/threads/29844
Those should help you. Also, check out this list of the fics that won fan fic of the week for examples of how a fan fic is properly done.

 

[SilverBlaze09]

check out this list of the fics that won fan fic of the week for examples of how a fan fic is properly done.

I'm in shock. Somebody actually noticed my post other than teh 00b3rmods?! XD

Beyond what N-A has already pointed out, you might also wanna get a beta to help you.

If you're unsure of what a beta is, it's a proofreader. They do a pre-posting lookover of your fic(or chapter) and catch all the spelling and grammar and plot stuff. Pretty helpful, dontcha think?

And previews are supposed to be posted in the Author's Lounge.

?SilverBlaze09?

 

[Lily]

6. Rushed work is discouraged and the thread can be closed. Please pay attention to your work and make sure you read that thread that says ?READ FIRST.?


9. If your fanfiction fails to meet the standards of a decent fanfiction, it will be closed.

Pay special attention to number 6, also 9.

Silver- you're loved, rest assured. XP