Feared Saint

[Rapture]

The full moon bathed the tranquil forest in a silvery light. Many creatures of the forest had since returned to their own respected dorms to rest in wait for the new day. However, to several beings this time of stillness was paradise.
One such creature was emerging from her den, three pups trailing behind her. Her silver-white fur reflected the moonlight making her resemble a ghost. She held her tail high, its shape resembling a sword, its colour was like that of dagger like claws; jet black. Her face, also dark, looked somewhat odd to her body as one would have expected a head of a feline or canine but her head was almost human like. Ears were hidden under her straight silvery and out of the head on her right a black blade stuck out as if it were an accessory.
Avaira, a most beautiful absol, stood in pride over her newborns. Defenceless, they were trying to huddle together for warmth and walk towards their mother at the same time. Unfortunately they were having trouble wobbling. The small beings were her life; if she had to she would die for them.
Of the little ones the weakest was a runt female names Vailess, despite best efforts Avaira knew little Vailess would not live long enough to see her first hunt. For an absol to give birth to three pups is rare, Vailess? living birth was a surprise enough. The weaker of the two stronger pups, Helslath, was a male with vigour in his blood from the start. Avaira knew he would grow into a strong absol. Finally, the strongest of the litter, Seiya. Avaira held high pride in her strongest pup, little as Seiya was she was somehow special.
Avaira knew something was wrong, the winds carried odd scents. Something was to happen, she had no psychic blood in her but she could still sense these occurrences. If she weren?t so distracted she might have felt the presence of another come closer and closer.
Just as the intruder was a few feet away she sensed it and lunged at it out of instinct, growling in warnings. The creature backed away immediately, he had no intension of fighting.
?Avaira! It?s not like I have reasons to hurt my own children! It?s also nice to thank your mate when he bring you food,? the stranger was no stranger at all.
The absol came into the light, his fur more of a pale white compared to the silvery sheen of Avaira?s fur. He bore a long scare that ran from the base of his spin down his left hind leg. Despite the minor imperfection, he was still a handsome and mighty absol in his prime.
?Everendus you flikrah,? Avaira growled, ?flikrah? referring meaning weak ground type like a diglet or a sandshrew. She patted back to her pups that had begun shivering in the danger and were calling for their mother?s warmth. She settled beside them and they waddled and rolled into her fur, both she and Everendus looked down at their family lovingly.
?You?ve had that felling again, I never sneak up on you, what is to happen Avaira??
?I don?t know but it worries me, it?s like something?s coming but I can?t tell what.?
?What shall we-??
?We have to go, bring the pups. I can?t stand this feeling any longer.?
Avaira looked up at her mate with pleading eyes, Everendus sighed. For a few seconds he thought it over, they had finally found a place of their own to call home and know she was asking the to leave with pups unable to open their eyes. Unfortunately, just as he was opening his mouth to protest a gunshot erupted in the distance, shattering the tranquil stillness of the forest night. ​

 

[Kylie-chan]

It's a bit short, with not much plot. Is this just a preview?

The description was fairly good, as was your punctuation and spelling, although you made a couple of typos and when you say "Everendus you flikrah," you need a comma between Everendus and you flikrah. (Everendus, you flikrah.)

Also Absol needs a capital A, as it's a proper noun (name, place, day, month - Pikachu, Australia, Thursday, November.) Diglett has a double T (and a capital D), and Sandshrew has a capital S. Feeling has one "l" and two "e"s.

You used tranquil twice in a small body of text, you could have used a word in the Word thesaurus (read the FAQ), like peace, calmness, serenity, etc.

Nice try, it sounds interesting so far (note: So far, it's not a story yet), although Absol is somewhat overused.

~DP

 

[Frostweaver]

Also Absol needs a capital A, as it's a proper noun (name, place, day, month - Pikachu, Australia, Thursday, November.) Diglett has a double T (and a capital D), and Sandshrew has a capital S. Feeling has one "l" and two "e"s.
~DP

(note: disagreeing doesn't mean hating XD)

Depends on how you look at it... for example, we do say "It's Pikachu!" However, if you're treating Pokemon species names like the name for an animal (eg: dog, you say "It is a dog." not "It is a Dog."). So really this isn't a flaw. Made-up words don't have such rigid rules about capitlization. Since the word is made-up to begin with, the rules are also made-up and we can interpret it however we want.

*edits the fanfic writing guide to add in more OU Pokemon list... Absol...*

 

[Kylie-chan]

Well, Pikachu is capital P as it's not a common noun, it's a proper noun, it's the name of the Pokemon (fight that out with Nintendo, I have no idea why it's a proper noun ok a vague one but nvm XD...). Dog is a common noun. e.g. a dog would have a lower-case d as it's a common noun. Now Nintendo decided these Pokemon would almost be anthromoporphic (OMG that word is so hard I don't think I got it right) and have capital letters as a proper noun. Understandable, as Pikachu and co. are all names, not a species name.

Like human is a species name (ok homosapiens but never mind), but Pikachu is a name like Adam or Jane is.

*shrugs* I'm in a calm frame of mind. I just feel like making my point.

although that reporter keeps postponing that interview... oh well

 

[Frostweaver]

Unless all the "P"ikachus in the world are direct identical twins or something O.o; how can they all be proper nouns? If they're proper nouns, then we won't have to "nickname" the Pokemon to begin with then... ;p

 

[Kylie-chan]

Good point... er why don't we make a debate thread about this so we can't spam up Rapture's fic anymore?

See ya there