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I Feel Something (For You)

Satoshi's Angel

An Everchanging Angel
    • 169
    Posts
    20
    Years
    Ok. This is a song I just wrote. Now I'm gonna dedicate this to my pair and my love, Rudy. He's the reason I wrote this.


    I feel something for you, baby,
    It begins with L and ends with E.
    I feel somethnig for you, baby,
    And it ain't like because that's not strong enough for me.

    I feel something for you, baby,
    It's what makes the world go 'round.
    I feel something for you, baby,
    It's what helps me up when I fall down.

    I feel something for you, baby,
    A misused and under felt thing.
    I feel something for you, baby,
    That something makes me sing.

    I feel something,
    I feel something for you.
    I feel something,
    I feel that it's true.
    I feel something for you, baby,
    It's a word spelled L-O-V-E.

    I feel something for you, baby,
    That something makes my world go 'round.
    I feel something for you, baby,
    It's a little thing called "love".
     
    Great song, it could either work as a poem or a song in my book XD, but I think it would be better if left the way it is now.

    Really though, it definatly came from within with the words you used, and the way you used it. I'm only saying this at a reviewer's point of view, not to bash your poem in anyway ^^, but it just seems that you overdid it a little with the chorus repeating, "I feel something for you", which sort of took away from the song and from adding any additional lyrics.

    But with songs or poems involving love, who cares what anyone thinks but you and Rudy ^^.
     
    I should drop by the poetry section more often!~
    *glomps Tabby*
    You always were the better writer out of us....xD
     
    Yeah I guess I did overuse it, Liquid, but I like it overused. XD

    Ish. Yes I always was, Rudy. XD Jk. Your a good writer too.
     
    I enjoyed this poem very much! I liked your tone, how it was casual yet serious at the same time. Repetition is a normal part of poetry and I wouldn't worry about it too much. Very nice!
     
    Thanks, baby azurill. I'm glad you like it.
     
    Weeeee, another song! ^^ I'm not the "song master," but I'll give this one a go. XD I think it's sweet how you dedicated your song to Rudy (I remember being paired to Rudy...he kept feeding me tacos. @.@), it's soo cute! <3~~~ I think your flow is pretty good overall and the word choice is well thought over. ^^ Great work Brandi! ^^

    ~Kelsey
     
    Thanks, Kels. I'm glad to see you think it's good.
     
    [kicks self] how didn't i see this?!?!?!?! omg i'm like blind XP
    very good, tabby, i bet rudy's feeling special right about now ^ ^ [shoves you into him] XD
     
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