I've been writing lately. Go on, laugh at it... ;;

[Kylie-chan]

Listen to them laugh at you and feel them tear at your skin
They?ll rip you to pieces like sharks because you don?t fit in
Cling on to me and we?ll fly to a haven so very far away
We?ll escape to tomorrow and flee from the agony of yesterday

It?s time to stand up for purity and truth among them all
Time to wipe away the tears and for you to stop fearing a fall
Take a risk and jump with your arms out wide, maybe you?ll fly
Soar above the others; it?s your turn to laugh and their turn to cry

They?ll shriek in horror as their plastic ?caring? masquerade
Crumbles and turns to dust and their lies begin to fade
Don?t worry about now, you?ve endured enough
You?ve weakened yourself trying to be tough

Simply cling onto all that?s real; soon your revenge will come
Subtracted from them, fortune will add itself to your sum
Just hold onto me; you?re protected in my arms, tight in my embrace
Until the end of you and the end of me, this will be the (last) safe place

You?ll prove your worth on this place we call Earth, you can endure
Their trivial cruelty; don?t let them make you feel any more insecure
Just hang onto me; you?re safe in my arms, you?re my only in the human race
We?ll fight until the final end of you ? the final end of me for the last safe place

 

[Demonic Angel]

No one's gonna laugh at it, Kylie-chan. ^^
And it's NOT crappiness. *speaks in the tone of a kindy teacher* Okay Kylie, repeat after me -- You are not a crappy poet. XD
Ish thinks that poem is beautiful, much better than anything I could ever write. ^^

 

[Kylie-chan]

Wow thankish, but I have seen your poetry, it pwnz all. XD [Including mine.]

 

[Demonic Angel]

Nah, ish sucks. XD I'm too scared to even post it. o.o;;;
But let's not get off topic. XD
Ish you gonna post some more? *pokes* =P

 

[Kylie-chan]

Mayhaps... << >> I'll see how PC reacts to my crappy poetry first. XD

 

[Demonic Angel]

*stabs the world "crappy" and replaces with the world "fantastic"*
Okiez...*waits for PC to come and react* o.O
Anyway, I really hope you post more. ^^

 

[Kylie-chan]

Okay. I might. But I have to go.

I'll keep writing it anyway. XD

 

[Kelsey]

Listen to them laugh at you and feel them tear at your skin
They?ll rip you to pieces like sharks because you don?t fit in
Cling on to me and we?ll fly to a haven so very far away
We?ll escape to tomorrow and flee from the agony of yesterday

It?s time to stand up for purity and truth among them all
Time to wipe away the tears and for you to stop fearing a fall
Take a risk and jump with your arms out wide, maybe you?ll fly
Soar above the others; it?s your turn to laugh and their turn to cry

They?ll shriek in horror as their plastic ?caring? masquerade
Crumbles and turns to dust and their lies begin to fade
Don?t worry about now, you?ve endured enough
You?ve weakened yourself trying to be tough

Simply cling onto all that?s real; soon your revenge will come
Subtracted from them, fortune will add itself to your sum
Just hold onto me; you?re protected in my arms, tight in my embrace
Until the end of you and the end of me, this will be the (last) safe place

You?ll prove your worth on this place we call Earth, you can endure
Their trivial cruelty; don?t let them make you feel any more insecure
Just hang onto me; you?re safe in my arms, you?re my only in the human race
We?ll fight until the final end of you ? the final end of me for the last safe place

Now, why would anyone laugh, Kylie? <3 This poem is wonderful! I absolutely adore it. ^^

Now, first, I might recommend that you try splitting your poem up into stanzas, which is how a poem is formally set up. This helps so that the poem gives off a nicer vibe and is easier to read as well. ^___^

Ususally, stanzas are broken up into groups of four lines that tend to fit with each other. In the quote above, I've split up your poem as an example. ^^ Now, you don't have to do this, but it sure does make the flow of your poem much better. ^o^

I thought this poem was beautiful. ^_____^ It made me think of someone who had been tormented, humiliated, and teased throughout their life. They always tried to fight back yet held it in the whole time. They were dying, but no one could tell by just looking at them. They were dying from the inside out - as one may put it.

Then, the voice of a dear friend calls to them, encouraging them to take a stand and defend themselves. Spread your wings and soar over the highest mountain, and gaze into the deepest sea. It was truly a wonderful feeling this poem gave off. ^__^

Awsome job Kylie, and never be afraid of your writing, no one will laugh, you have a true gift as a writer, never forget that. ^_~ *hugs*

~Kelsey

 

[Lady Pearl]

Username, Dark_Pikachu, has entered the Poetry building! Yay, I'm so glad you have came to post your poem! It seems you have spent time perfecting your poem, good job! ^^ It's rhyming, it's even, and most importantly, it shows your emotions! No one will laugh, they'll do the opposite. ;_; Not cry, unless it's heartbreaking, they'll be happy for you! ^^ I wish to see your poetry later on, as your skill overwhelms mine. XP

 

[Kylie-chan]

Thank you so much guys. ^_^ It cheers me up immensely to hear all this nice stuff said about it. XD

 

[KLS]

great job, i truly enjoyed reading this poem. your syntax is clear and your message is easily read.

 

[EvIL_CAjUN_CHIkIN]

Who would laugh at that?!

That's an awesome poem , how long did it take you to have such an epiphany???

*loves it*

 

[Kylie-chan]

Thankish all very muchly kindly ^-^ I really am not talented, but meh...

Here ish some crappy junk I showed Yami ages ago. XD

Shut your eyes and inside yourself search deeper
The mountains in your life are so much steeper
Will you ever climb them? Looks like you?re sinking
Lately the pain hurts so much, you?ve been thinking


One endless struggle to survive
How will you ever stay alive?
You want to end it all, end it all
You?re metaphorically short when you used to rise tall


All your agony will just crash down on you
You wanna hit pause for awhile, stop time too
Wanna procrastinate the ache, with it you don?t want to deal
When you wake up it?ll hit you hard and all will become real


On an eternal race, the pain stalks you, you it will catch
Looks like you?re gonna have to give in, you?ve met your match
What is the point of going on for ages fighting in vain
When eventually you?ll be defeated by unbearable pain?


It all comes on top of you, you just don?t have the strength
Shut your eyes, when you hit the dead end after time?s terrible length
You won?t ever surmount it, life is just too hard
You weep because the world broke your heart into shards


Suicide is the only way out of this deep dark pit
If motivation to live is a fire then yours is unlit
Lying here covered in blood with a knife at your neck
Tears in your eyes you are now just an empty wreck

 

[Miyu-chan]

I love how you rhymed this poem, and it gives me the feeling of you comforting a friend to live on, not fall into the depths of depression.

I <3ed the second poem too~ =D It shows what'll happen if you fall into depression, or make one mistake, etc.

 

[Demonic Angel]

For the zillionth time, that is not a crappy poem, and therefore you aren't a crappy poet either. XD
That poem has a lot of depth and meaning, and it was beautifully rhymed. ^^
I hope you keep writing poetry, Kylie-chan~ ^^

 

[Jolty-kun]

Woa! 0.0;, wow kylie.. your poetry.. ichs amazing, seriously, the way you rhymed it, i love em both ^^;

 

[Eliana]

.....o.o;; that was DEEP Kylie....
I take it you were depressesed? that is the most amazing thing...its straight from the heart...and I'm not laughing Kylie...you used a lot of "big" (XD) words, and they were powerfuly too....

Still not laughin,
~Eli

 

[Kylie-chan]

They say nothing can go wrong, nothing good comes to an end​

But all they do is play an endless game of pretend​

I hate their illusion and I want to tear it away​

I want them to see nothing is okay​

My truth is all it takes to shatter their dreams​

Behind naivety nothing is as it seems...​

They thought everything would be alright​

No it isn't and it won't be I'm frightened tonight​

I wept and I screamed but only in vain​

Would they ever understand this crazy pain?​

Nobody listened when I said I wished I was dead​

Nobody cared when I took a knife to myself and bled​

There is no compassion in the world anymore​

They say they love but what for?​

And I wanted to make them feel the hurt; they?re on the happy side of humanity​

They will never understand what it means when depression drives you to insanity​

More stuff. XD ^^;

 

[Demonic Angel]

Ish, that was so sad... ._.;
But the way you wrote it was beautiful to say the least. The flow is great, as is the rhyming.
Great job! ^^

 

[Dark Light Angel]

*stares at the poems* I can't really express how great those poems are in my mind but I can at least try. Kylie, it is very very possibly that those are the saddest, most beautiful, and greatest poems I have ever read. I love them very very much. I can't believe you called those crappy because they are far from it. Each and everyone holds the same beauty yet somehow they each retain something different in their beauty.