Nostalgia

[oni flygon]

This is just a small poem that I wrote yesterday. The weather here is making me remind of my childhood in the Philippines... ^_^

Nostalgia
by Niko

The summer winds blow from the north;
I feel it touching my face at evening.
I close my eyes to imagine?
Slowly, I relaxed and eased my breathing.

Tonight, I could see paradise.
I could see beautiful and dazzling lights.
Vast meadows of fragrant flowers,
Where there are infinite days and no nights.

I lay stretched out on the meadow,
And inhaled the fragrant and summer breeze.
It brings back so much memory,
Back then when I played under the trees.

Childhood and days of innocence,
Running along on the sandy beaches,
And laughter carried by the wind,
There are so many things that life teaches.

 

[Samael]

Hm, well let's see here. The first thing that I notice is the four paragraph formation - I used to use that standard a lot with most of my old works. I really like how the second and fourth line follows up the first and third with a longer line, that's pretty sweet.

The first paragraph is really nice. I love how it makes me feel very laid back and refreshed - it is also a perfect feel for the first paragraph.
The second paragraph is a wrap to the first, which is really great. The second paragraph also makes me feel a little dark, cold, and lonely - which is also a great plus.
The third paragraph makes me feel a little empty and sad, the way you wrote it also makes me think of a person that had many great memories as a child, and now as a more and grown up person he/she doesn't really do much and misses those past days he/she used to have.
I have no thoughts for the fourth paragraph, nor can I relate it to anything - so I don't have anything to say about it really.

All in all, it was an excellent poem. Thanks for sharing it with us.

 

[oni flygon]

Thanks for reviewing! I really appreciated the comments! ^_^

 

[Samael]

Thanks for reviewing! I really appreciated the comments! ^_^

Yep, it's no problem at all buddy!